I know who Cecil really is. He’s the Illuminati.
Think about it. It makes sense.
See, here’s their plan:
Step 1: Create an avatar of infinite wisdom. Someone with a sterling record of always being right.
Step 2: With said wisdom, slowly gain the trust of all of the smartest and most inquisitive minds on the planet.
Step 3: Start feeding them bad information (“Razors can’t cut through vains.” “Arsenic is only lethal if you drink less than a cup of it.” “Scientists and doctors agree, russian roulette is safe and fun, you loser!”)
Step 4: Now that you’ve destroyed all of the best and brightest, the population of the world will be desperately looking for wisdom and guidance.
Step 5: Create a new Cecil Adams/Iron-Fisted Dictator to take over the world in it’s time of need.
It’s that simple.*
(*I’m sure the O.J. Simpson framing had something to do with this too, but as of yet I’m not sure what…)