The Cecil Adams Pit Thread

The BBQ Pit
1

This board, dedicated to the Perfect Master or the Partisan Hack depending on your viewpoint has been around for quite some time. To the best of my knowledge he has never been pitted.

So, seeing as I haven’t been able to get a threadspotting to save my life in quite some time (even the Blimp thread didn’t make it,) I figure that this naturally, will be a shoe-in.

After 30 years and God knows how many columns I figure he’s got it coming to him. I say we let him have it without pulling the punches.

Here I go:

Cecil you don’t post here often enough, and when you do you are far too short and truculent with this. When are you going to let down that arrogant cynical facade and show us your sensitive side?

Here’s this entire board dedicated to you, and you can’t even hang out with your peeps once in a while? What’s wrong with you, you ingrate? Don’t your fans matter to you?

Would it hurt you to hang out in a flirt thread, or take part in a debate? How about you just completely lose it, melt down and flame the living shit out of one us?

Oh, and I notice that the header in the forums description for General Questions says:

“Possibly” do yo think you might actually answer one for us?

Nobody wants to put you out, Cece, but in case you haven’t noticed there is a lot of ignorance on this board. Here we are, supplicants at the gate and we just sit here exchanging ignorance with one another. Maybe you could just step into a great debate once in a while and say “you guys are right, these guys are wrong.”

You don’t have to hang out here all day, but since this site is dedicated to you, maybe a post or two a day would be in order, hmmmm?

And another thing, your etymology threads are boring. Nobody cares where “Cwym” came from except a few pompous English majors and some guys in kilts.

I thought you should know.

2

O-o-oh boy! Now you’ve done it!

Ladies and gentlemen of the SDMB, the pool on how long it will be before the little letters “BANNED” appear under Scylla’s name is now open. :wink:

CJ
I know it’s lame, but I had to take my shot at this thread while I had it.

3

Nah, this is number 7.

4

this is the best "Pit Cecil " thread you could come up with?

::shaking head sadly::

5

I rise in strong support of Scylla’s thread expressing his sincere frustration with Cecil’s lack of mingling with us commonfolk and I hope others join in this major issue, and issue that has been an 800 pound gorilla in the closet that nobody has wanted to touch.

If it is banworthy to mention this, than so be it.

“We must all hang together, or we shall most assuredly hang separately.” -Benjamin Franklin

6

Yeah, Blalron, we just want to be near him, and hang out with him. Maybe he’d attend a dopefest. We just want to him to mingle Cuz’ we like him, but not in a creepy kill his cat, and lock him in the basement stalker sort of way, except for Fenris.

7

I was sure this was going to be about Cecil’s “this damn fool war” comment in the “W’s AWOL” column.

8

Now this is not so bad… but Aha had the better “hey Cecil look at me!” thread. Back in the days when he was going about begging bribing and blackmailing Mods and admins into welcoming him to the boards.

Make Aha your friend. Just never take any spare change from him. You really do not want to know where that change has been.

9

Now this is not so bad… but Aha had the better “hey Cecil look at me!” thread. Back in the days when he was going about begging bribing and blackmailing Mods and admins into welcoming him to the boards.

Make Aha your friend. Just never take any spare change from him. You really do not want to know where that change has been.

10

Maybe he doesn’t like Peeps? But I can’t imagine anyone not liking Peeps… Peeps are the food of the Gods, if the Gods were interested in sugar highs, which I have no doubt they are. And since Cecil is at the very least an honorary member of any God-related pantheon, he must like Peeps. So I guess I don’t know what’s wrong with Cecil.

I’d be a purple bunny Peep, given my druthers. The original chicks are nice, but they lack the sense of destruction that biting the ears off a bunny Peep gives you.

-BK

11

How dare you address the Perfect Master in such a tone, simpleton!

Why should Mr. Adams spend any time here? At the end of the day, when you’re trying to find out who invented the smiley face, the last thing you want to do is go online, and see :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: all over a site that’s supposedly dedicated to you. Show some goddamned respect.

Mr. Adams, if you do happen to venture in here, please realize that not all of us resent you, and that many of us, in fact, have nothing but respect and, quite frankly, awe, for you and your work. Have mercy on us all.

12

Who’d want to hang out with a pencil-necked geek, anyway?

(Now, if Slug wants to grace us with his presence. . . .)

13

Hey, speak for yourself.

14

Now this is not so bad… but Aha had the better “hey Cecil look at me!” thread. Back in the days when he was going about begging bribing and blackmailing Mods and admins into welcoming him to the boards.

Make Aha your friend. Just never take any spare change from him. You really do not want to know where that change has been.

15

The World’s Smartest Human™ occasionally gets one wrong and then proceeds to waffle, get snarky, or retroactively alter the scope of the question (sometimes all three) and the best you can come up with is a criticism of his posting frequency?

Not to mention his greatest crime: he never admitted to an over-simplification of genetics to suit his purposes either.

16

Well Scylla you forgot we’re supposed to avert our eyes when addressing The Master and to never, ever mention Him by his real name lest that summon His attention to us. Now we’re going to have to get a goat to appease He Who Watches Over Us. Good job on that you heathen!

17

But how can the non-exis…err…Yeah, Cecil needs to come out and play some more.

18

Ah, you probably don’t know the original words to “Western Union”!! :wink:

:smiley:

19

Whoa. Uh, Scylla, can we chat here for a moment? Not that I’m sayin’, understand, but what if that cynical crankiness isn’t a facade? I mean, it isn’t like Cece goes around advocating kicking puppies and geriatrics but a “sensitive side” is still a bit of stretch. How do we know he even HAS one?

Cite? :smiley:

Veb

20

Why does The Cecil always have a piece of orange peel stuck in his front teeth? What’s more, it has been the same piece of orange peel for 8 days now.

Does anyone know how to pronounce his name? Is it Cee-sul or Cess-sul?