::tears in my eyes::
tom that was just… so… beautiful. I’m getting vhiklempt*
*well how the heck would you spell it?
::awaiting the really clever response “I - T”::
Somebody wake Zotti up so Cecil can defend himself in this travesty of a thread!
:rolleyes:
Well done Tomndebb…
But still… :rolleyes:
Oh! Oh! Oh! I wanna join the Inquisition! Can I? Can I? PLEEEEEEEEEESE?
Heretic!!! Blasphemer!!! Burn the Witch!!!
How was that? Good enough?
Rigel Haloran, you’re on! I’ll be Tomas de Torquemada, and you can be my deputy!
Can I join the Inquisition? I’ve got the comfy chair and the pillows and everything, and my Inquisitor outfit has been sitting around waiting for such an opportunity.
Sure thing, brianjedi.
Now, based on this thread, we need to start making up a list of the heretics and the disloyal. Scylla, of course, and drewbert. Then there’s Doc Nickel, Evil Captor, and Waverly. Oh my sweet Cecil, there are heretics all around us!
So, brianjedi, what you are saying is, you EXPECTED the Inquisition? I think not, because…
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
Sorry about that.
Two points to tomndebb for the clever rewrite, but four off for the startling lack of originality. This is, by my count, the third “Is Cecil Real” thread that uses some mention, excerpt or variant of the Sun letter about Santa.
As with most mythical figures, the concept matters more than the actual existence. Yes, “Cecil’s” articles are interesting, often humorous to read, just as the writings others have written and then attributed to “God” are indeed good morality plays.
But in the case of the latter, is that ‘morality’ genuine? It is instilled with the implied threat of a cosmic amd humorless Ultimate Judge- “Act this way or God will punish you.”
In the case of the former, can a source itself based on ignorance and intentional deception, be said to genuinely “eradicating ignorance”?
Open that thread, Copa! We’ve got a nascent debate developing already! 
Going back to the hijack about aha, am I the only one who cannot hear the song “Western Union” without thinking of the pants-shitting thread?
[Kryten voice]
No Cecil Adams? Then where do all the little mailbags go?
[/Kryten voice]
Yeah, but one of those (the better one from which this was copied) was already mine, and I don’t need originality to knock down one more trite “But he’s not re-e-e-eal” posts. 
So you’re gonna pit the atheist’s God on his own turf, huh?
Well, it’s been done before…back when Lib was a youngster apparently he made an ass of himself too. 
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=93395&highlight=Cecil+Adams
Is there any proof that Cecil exists? I mean, apart from the answers he sends out every week. No, wait, those could be written by a consortium of people.
Who’ve been doing it for thirty years…well, Cece’s been successful, so they might plod on for that long.
Who’ve written in nearly the same style since day 1. You can see an actual progression in writing style…but, you say, those could just be different people writing the same article.
With the same political views, sense of humor, turns of phrase…well, they’re just that good.
Is there any proof that there ISN’T a Cecil Adams? Just because nobody’s ever seen him? Hell, if I were Cece, I wouldn’t just show up in public to all my adoring fans…ESPECIALLY if they didn’t know I existed. Be just like Cecil to have a laugh at something like that.
What proof do we have to disprove his existence? No one guy could be this smart, you say. Bull. He’s been wrong before. Wrong. Inaccurate. No one guy could do all this work in a week, you say. Feh. If I had an entire week, a nice salary, a Chicago-sized public library at my disposal, a phone with unlimited long distance, and a really sharp attitude, I could be Cecil Adams. Well, maybe not. But most of what Cecil does is research, pure and simple. He gets asked questions and researches the answers to them. Anyone can do that, provided they’re fairly bright and very persistent. And the rest of his questions are personal, educated opinion. I’d expect a professional researcher to have very educated opinions, so again, it doesn’t matter who’s doing it.
It must be a consortium, you say? Then why did he noisily hire the SD Staff? They’re a consortium too, ain’t they?
Cecil Adams is really Ed Zotti? Gadzooks! You mean that someone might be working under a pseudonym?! Again – I sure as heck would be, were I Unca Cece. Means I don’t have to shell out the extra $20 for an unlisted number.
You want to know if Cecil exists? Do a little Unca Cecil style detective work. Stake out the Reader’s office. Call the Editor of the Reader and ask. Keep calling. Check out the Social Security records (tricky and not very useful, but it might give you a start). Hey, maybe we should all send letters to the Reader saying the same thing: “Unca Cecil, there’s one big thing we’re all ignorant about: Are you a real boy?”
What do you think, Cecil’s gonna come out of the identity closet after 30 years just because someone asks?
All I know is that at this point I really hope Unca Cecil really does write a column addressing the war hawks who got all hot-n-bothered by his condemnation of “this damn war.” Because I have this sneaking suspicion that Cecil will shred the pro-war position into such microscopic particles that you’ll need an electron microscope to find the pieces – and a pitting of that magnitude would be something to tell the grandkids.
Of course there’s a Cecil Adams. ::removes hat and bows head in mock reverence:: He’s just passed on to that realm only reachable by John Edward and Lekatt, his column being writ by a relative who uses his name for the sake of continuity . . . oh, wait . . . that’s Dear Abby.
Never mind.
If it’s any consolation, Scylla, you’ve got Cecil beat in the Threadspotting department. He has to face it some time: you own him.
{As someone who has Threadspotted[sup]TM[/sup] Scylla (A cliffhanger of a story, sheepishly told, aka: “Ewes Sluts”), I can only comment that I am certainly NOT contributing to the OP’s threadspotting deficiency. Thank you.}
tomndebb, was that really the best your wee brain could do? Silly, flowery hyperbole?
I would have expected more from someone with such an aggrandized sense of intellectual purpose.
Ah well. Not surprising. Fighting ignorance must go on…
Indeed. Fighting ignorance must go on.
I want to state for the record - I believe in Cecil Adams.