The Celebrity Death Pool 2008

The Game Room
61

Ok, here’s mine:

Jack T. Chick
Muhammed Ali
Charlton Heston
Fidel Castro
Billy Graham
Art Linkletter
Farrah Fawcett
Andy Rooney
Willie Mays
Bum Phillips
Chuck Berry
Betty Ford
Lena Horne

Alternates:

Nelson Mandela
Henry Kissinger
Kitty Wells

:: crosses fingers ::

(You guys know what I mean… ;))

62

Yeah, you’d think so. But I rarely do (when I rarely hit.)

63

Alan Arkin
Shirley Jones
Rulon Gardner
Peter O’Toole
Roger Ebert
Suzanne Pleshette
Amy Winehouse
Lindsay Lohan
Britney Spears
Farrah Fawcett
Dr. Jack Kevorkian
Elizabeth Edwards
Fidel Castro
alternate Estelle Getty

64

I’ve been taking my time in composing my list for 2008 and after consultation with my daughter, here it is:

Farrah Fawcett
Nancy Reagan
Liza Minelli
Elizabeth Taylor
Britney Spears
Eunice Kennedy Shriver
John Forsythe
Marie Osmond
Jerry Lewis
Keith Richards
Eddie Van Halen
Brian Wilson
Fidel Castro

Alternates:
James Arness
Joan Kennedy
Nicole Richey

Now, for the reasons:

Farrah Fawcett: on her second go-round with colo-rectal cancer. :frowning:
Nancy Reagan: mourning and missing Ronnie, doesn’t look good, probably ready to join him
Liza Minelli: from my daughter (who gave me Anna Nicole!), fainted after concert last night, brought all the way to USA for treatment - not good IMHO
Elizabeth Taylor: another from my daughter - she’s not been well for years
Britney Spears: she’s on a very self-destructive path, unfortunately
Eunice Kennedy Shriver: recently hospitalized, not doing well
John Forsythe: had colon cancer in 2006
Marie Osmond: after the “fainting” on Dancing with the Stars, she may be sicker than they’ve told
Jerry Lewis: he still doesn’t look well - return appearance on list
Keith Richards: although he may live forever, his number should be up sometime!
Eddie Van Halen: another pick from my daughter - wild card rock star pick
Brian Wilson: unfortunately, suffers from severe depression
Fidel Castro: he is sicker than what’s being told …

Alternates:
James Arness: old, but hanging in there
Joan Kennedy: alcoholic :frowning:
Nicole Richey: in childbirth? (og forgive me, please!)

And I’ll join with the others in crossing my fingers … in most cases! :stuck_out_tongue:

65

I just can’t wait until Dec. 31 to post my list, because there’s too great a chance that I will forget and miss the deadline.

Here are the folks who shouldn’t bother making New Year’s Resolutions for 2009:

  1. Dane Cook (Wanker)
  2. Zsa Zsa Gabor (Slapper)
  3. Norman Borlaug (“Green Revolution” architect)
  4. Mickey Foote (Music producer)
  5. Nancy Regan (Rhymes with Witch)
  6. John Mayall (Bluesbreaker)
  7. Margaretta Large Fitler Murphy Rockefeller (“Happy”)
  8. Don Shula (May he sleep with his “fishes”)
  9. Darryl Strawberry (Ex-baseball player)
  10. Hubert “Geese” Ausbie (Ex-Harlem Globetrotter)
  11. Jovanka Budisavljević Broz (Tito’s widow)
  12. Lew Lewis (Eddie & the Hot Rods)
  13. Caril Ann Fugate (Famous girlfriend)

Alternates:

  1. Todd Rundgren (Musico)
  2. Martin Gardner (Mathico)
66

Any chance you could do a plain format list?

67

These are all former major league baseball players. Some are slightly obscure and won’t make headlines, so I’ll probably be the one to pop back in and note when they die.

And, they will die.

Wait, that sounds ominous, evil, and potentially planned. It’s not, I just think I have a good set of picks.

Walt Masterson
Larry Eschen
Val Heim
Deacon Donahue
Wally Westlake
Bill Werle
Stan Musial
Ray Hamrick
Red Murff
Chuck Kress
Andy Pafko
Ralph Kiner
Harry Perkowski

68

Fred Phelps, oh please, please let this be the year
Romuald Klim (gold medal hammer, '69)
Ray Bradbury, unfortunately, I don’t think it’s that far off
Castro
George HW Bush, because I’m just hoping
Salinger
Frank Lucas (ex drug lord)
Ellen Straton (first playmate of the year, 1960)
Anne McCaffrey, looked her up, no idea she was that old
Al Jaffee (MAD magazine)
Roger Moore, the worst Bond
William “beam me up” Shatner
Shirley MacLaine-- those crystals can’t help you forever

Alternate: Don DeLillo

clean:
Fred Phelps
Romuald Klim
Ray Bradbury
Castro
George HW Bush
Salinger
Frank Lucas
Ellen Straton
Anne McCaffrey
Al Jaffee
Roger Moore
William Shatner
Shirley MacLaine

Alternate: Don DeLillo

69

Ariel Sharon
Ehud Olmert
Gary Kasparov
Fidel Castro
Robert Mugabe
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Hugo Chavez
Kim Jong-Il
Bhumibol Adulyadej
Pervez Musharraf
Hamid Karzai
Jack Chick
Ursula Le Guin

70
  1. Eunice Kennedy Shriver (7/10/21) Special Olympics founder; hospitalized since November
  2. Fidel Castro (8/31/26) Cuban dictator; holdover from 07
  3. Ariel Sharon (2/27/28) Former Israeli PM; holdover from 07
  4. Jack Kevorkian (5/20/28) Euthenasia advocate; holdover from 07
  5. Lawrence Eagleburger (8/1/30) Secretary of State for the first President Bush; seen him in person, he doesn’t look at all well
  6. Dick Cheney (1/30/41) Veep; his recent atrial fibrillation was described as not serious by the White House. Given this administration’s relationship with the truth, I figure he’s a goner.
  7. Farrah Fawcett (2/2/47) Ex-Charlie’s Angel. Reccurence of colo-rectal cancer; according to one report has rejected chemo in favor of alternative medicine
  8. Elizabeth Edwards (7/3/49) Presidential candidate’s wife; metastic breast cancer
  9. Benazir Bhutto (6/21/53) Former Pakistani PM; assassination target in 07
  10. Randy Pausch (10/23/60) Caregie-Mellon U. professor who’s been hitting the talk show circuit since his last lecture
  11. Steve Smith (8/30/64) Former Raiders/Seahwaks running back with ALS
  12. Jason Becker (7/22/69) Rock guitarist with ALS
  13. Pete Doherty (3/12/79) Brit singer and walking train wreck

Plain Jane version:
Eunice Kennedy Shriver
Fidel Castro
Ariel Sharon
Jack Kevorkian
Lawrence Eagleburger
Dick Cheney
Farrah Fawcett
Elizabeth Edwards
Benazir Bhutto
Randy Pausch
Steve Smith
Jason Becker
Pete Doherty

Alternates
Kirk Douglas
Nancy Reagan

71

You need a substitute for Julia Carson.

72

Nelson Mandela
Jerry Lee Lewis
Liza Minnelli
Jean Chretien
Roger Ebert
Michael J. Fox
Benazir Bhutto
Margaret Thatcher
Barbara Ann Scott
Pete Doherty
Amy Winehouse
Fidel Castro
Terry Pratchett

Alternates:
Jimmy Carter
Muhammad Ali
Kirk Douglas

73

Suzanne Somers
Dick Cheney
Gary Kasparov
Dolly Parton
John Mackey
Farrah Fawcett
Lisa Minelli
Jack Kevorkian
Amy Winehouse
Rudy Giuliani
Tony Snow
John Goodman
George Bush Sr.

Suzanne Somers-sells cadaver on shopping channel
Cheney-heart attacks by the six pack
Kasparov-radiation poisoning
Parton-looked bad in interview
Mackey -fooballer demented and sick
Fawcett-goofyness runs out
Lisa-human test tube of alcohol and drugs
Dr. Jack-they let him out to die,tortured him long enough
Amy-have to reward her hard work
Rudy-cancer survivor
Snow-survivor whose time runs out
Goodman -fat actors die young
Bush-dies of shame after jrs next fiasco

74

Well, shit. I guess that’s a good omen, in a creepy way.

Suzanne Pleshette

That’s just a quick add, I’ll see if I can find a couple more alternates. I didn’t think I’d need any. It’s a little weird to make your first accurate pick, even if it’s a little too accurate.

75

Those of us in Indiana are a little flabbergasted. She only announced terminal lung cancer like 3 weeks ago. I guess the crazy guy who wanted to buy a top hat yesterday was right - the funeral home really was calling to make arrangements for her!

76

To be fair, she missed a lot of votes in September while hospitalized. (I know how to pick 'em, don’t I? :eek: )

77

Haven’t tried this before, but what the hell:

Dick Cheney
Fidel Castro
Eunice Kennedy Shriver
Stephen Hawking
Dick Francis
Muhammad Ali
Larry King
Elizabeth Taylor
Jimmy Carter
Walter Cronkite
Mel Brooks
Betty Ford
Barbara Bush
Alternates:

Queen Elizabeth
George H.W. Bush
Dick Clark

78

Elizabeth Taylor
Michael Jackson
Walter Cronkite
James Garner
Nancy Reagan
Tony Danza
Fred Phelps
Barbara Bush
Muhammed Ali
Loretta Lynn
Fidel Castro
Dick Cheney
Farrah Fawcett

Alternates in order:
Angela Lansbury
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Mary Tyler Moore

Barbara Bush–Mrs. George H. W. Bush

79

I really wanted to do this last year, but didn’t. And I know it’s traditional to wait as long as possible so people don’t copy you too much, but if I don’t do it while I’m thinking about it, I’ll forget.

  1. Claude “I’m going to score Randy ONE point” Levi-Strauss (11-28-08)
  2. Oscar “A mother fucking piano player!” Peterson (8-15-25)
  3. Fidel “Outlasted 10 presidents” Castro (8-13-26)
  4. Mikhail “Naevus Flammeus” Gorbachev (3-2-31)
  5. Leonard “Death Grip” Nimoy (3-26-31)
  6. Lenny “Super Bowl IV” Dawson (6-20-35)
  7. Joe “.605 with New York” Torre (7-18-40)
  8. Richard “Shaft” Roundtree (7-9-42)
  9. Farrah “The Blonde One” Fawcett (2-2-47)
  10. Vladimir “In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU” Putin (10-7-52)
  11. Stanley G. “STS-122 mission specialist” Love (6-8-65)
  12. Amy “They tried to make me go to rehab” Winehouse (9-14-83)
  13. Jeffrey “I’ll make granddad proud” Earnhardt (6-22-89)

Alternates:
14. Queen Elizabeth “Lilibet” the second (4-21-26)
15. Stephen “A Brief History of Time” Hawking (1-8-42)

Claude Levi-Strauss
Oscar Peterson
Fidel Castro
Mikhail Gorbachev
Leonard Nimoy
Len Dawson
Joe Torre
Richard Roundtree
Farrah Fawcett
Vladimir Putin
Stanley G. Love
Amy Winehouse
Jeffrey Earnhardt

80

Some of these are carried over from last year. Last year, BTW, I could have gotten the points for Anna Nicole Smith, but I was honest and reminded the scorekeeper that when Gerald Ford died, I had promoted J.D. Salinger instead of her. So I’m still scoreless.

  1. John Goodman
  2. Shane McGowan
  3. Queen Elizabeth
  4. Terry Gilliam
  5. J.D. Salinger
  6. Cliff Richard
  7. Britney Spears
  8. Ruth Rendell
  9. Michael Jackson
  10. William Shatner
  11. O.J. Simpson
  12. Ann B. Davis
  13. Terry Pratchett

Alternates:

Berkley Breathed
Cedric the Entertainer
Keith Richards