Here’s my list of people who will get to ring in 2013 (I’d like to claim my small share of credit in Castro, Gabor, and Graham (the evangelist) still being alive.)
Ed Asner
Fidel Castro
Eve Ensler
Alberto Fujimori
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Robin Gibb
Billy Graham
Paz de la Huerta
Daniel Inouye
Etta James
Anthony Kennedy
Prince Philip
Prince Tomohito
Alternates in case strange things happen in the next 100 or so minutes:
Courtney Love
Rip Torn
Danica Patrick
Rush Limbaugh
Bryant Gumbel
Eddie Van Halen
George Michael
Sandra Day O’Connor
Julie Andrews
Nick Nolte
Gary Busey
Rosalyn Carter
Drew Brees
Boy George
Rex Ryan
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Billy Graham
Joe Paterno
Larry Hagman
Gene Keady
Etta James
Penny Marshall
Terry Pratchett
Robin Gibbs
Ethan Zohn
Fidel Castro
Dick Cheney
William Perry
Richard Ramirez
Stevie Wonder
Etta James
Jerry Sandusky
Albert Haynesworth
Tara Reid
Marcia Strassman
Prince Philip
Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
Roger Ebert
Gabrielle Giffords
Mindy McCready
Gene Simmons
Yeah, I like 'em random.
Note on Ramirez: yes, he is on California 's death row. I’m banking on another form of death.
Bob Dole
Bob Barker
Rob Zombie
Robert Redford
Rob Reiner
Robert Plant
Robert DeNiro
Robert Wagner
Bob Dylan
Bobby Womack
Robert Pattinson
Bob Seger
Roberta Flack
Jim Stynes - Former australian “football” player.
Gary Carter - Former Major League Baseball player, Hall of Famer.
Superstar Billy Graham - Former American professional wrestler.
Wayne Fleming - NHL coach, Canadian Olympic coach (won silver medal).
Robert Dennerly - Former Plymouth Argyle Vice Chairman and Director, part owner.
Hugo Chavez - President of Venezuela.
Saif al-Islam Gaddafi - Former Libyan political figure, son of Muammar.
Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi - Airplane bomber.
Bill Janklow - Former South Dakota Governor.
Robin Gibb - Singer-songwriter, member and co-founder of the Bee Gees.
Etta James - Singer.
Susan Clark - American radio personality.
Raven Alexis - Hot porn star
Alternates which I probably won’t need:
Ronnie Biggs - Great Train Robbery crook.
Fidel Castro - Cuban politician and revolutiuonary.
Plain list, oldest to youngest:
Etta James
Bill Janklow
Superstar Billy Graham
Robert Dennerly
Robin Gibb
Wayne Fleming
Susan Clark
Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi
Gary Carter
Hugo Chavez
Jim Stynes
Saif al-Islam Gaddafi
Raven Alexis
Nancy Reagan
Pete Doherty
Margaret Thatcher
Prince Philip
Penny Marshall
Fidel Castro
Rose Marie
Hosni Mubarak
Etta James
Rod Blagojevich
Joe Paterno
Robin Gibb
Pope Benedict
Clive James
Joe Paterno
Robin Gibb
John Nash
Abdelbaset al-Megrahi
Hosni Mubarak
Darrel Akerfelds
Wang Shengjun
Hugo Chavez
Etta James
Jim Styles
Michael Lohan
Raven Alexis
Clive James
Joe Paterno
Robin Gibb
John Nash
Abdelbaset al-Megrahi
Hosni Mubarak
Darrel Akerfelds
Wang Shengjun
Hugo Chavez
Etta James
Jim Styles
Michael Lohan
Raven Alexis
Ok, back from early kid friendly New Years! Happy New Years all and Happy Birthday to our Mistress of Death!
And I just can’t help myself. I have to keep looking and tinkering. So … I am going to replace Roger Ebert with Darrel Akerfelds.
New and Improved list:
Robin Gibb
Robert Dennerly
Gary Carter
Penny Marshall
Joe Lewis
Bill Janklow
Etta James
Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi
Jim Stynes
Raven Alexis
Tamara Grigsby
Susan Clark
Darrel Akerfelds
Alternates:
Roger Ebert
Geoffrey Hughes
DJ Jonathan Toubin
Val Kilmer
Miley Cyrus
Mike Tyson
William Shatner
Verne Troyer
Tom Sizemore
Clarence Greenwood - Citizen Cope
John Madden
Casey Anthony
Latrell Spreewell
Samantha Ronson
Topher Grace
Chevy Chase
Mickey Rourke
Etta James
Bill Janklow
Superstar Billy Graham
Robert Dennerly
Robin Gibb
Wayne Fleming
Susan Clark
Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi
Gary Carter
Hugo Chavez
Jim Stynes
Saif al-Islam Gaddafi
Raven Alexis
Abe Vigoda
Bill Cosby
Dick Van Dyke
Jerry Van Dyke
Dave Brubeck
Beverly Cleary
Ray Bradbury
Willie Nelson
Lindsay Lohan
Frankie Muniz
Mikhail Gorbachev
Margaret Thatcher
Fidel Castro
Alternates:
Kirk Douglas
Michael Douglas
Billy Graham
For those following at home, here are the relevant categories:
Abe Vigoda – One-foot-in-the-grave
Bill Cosby – Beloved old guy
Dick Van Dyke – Beloved old guy
Jerry Van Dyke – Beloved old guy’s relative
Dave Brubeck – Kennedy Center honoree for a reason
Beverly Cleary – Beloved Author
Ray Bradbury – Beloved Author
Willie Nelson – Belligerent Old Fuck
Lindsay Lohan – Child Actor Curse
Frankie Muniz – Child Actor Curse
Mikhail Gorbachev – Irrelevant World Leader
Margaret Thatcher – Irrelevant World Leader
Fidel Castro – Irrelevant World Leader
Alternates:
14. Kirk Douglas – Beloved old guy
15. Michael Douglas – Beloved old guy’s relative
16. Billy Graham – Belligerent Old Fuck