Amazingly, Pepper Mill had never read the infamous classic The Eye of Argon. I was reading aloud the MST-ified version (available here – http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html ) a few nights ago. we were laughing so loud that we woke MilliCal up.
The next day I decided to look up The Eye of Argon on the 'Net.
To my complete and utter surprise, the Wikipedia entry on it said that the notorious “missuing ending” had been found! Apparently at least two copies of the original Ozark SF society fanzine it appeared in have been found, and the (too, too brief) missing ending has been posted on the Internet:
Sweet Christmas. I’d heard of this story before, but never read it - I’m now reading the MST3K version linked… and I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying.
I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this before. What’s the use of being married to a sci-fi gaming geek if he doesn’t TELL me these things??? I haven’t lauged this hard in ages! My co-worker thinks I’m nuts.
I want an evil oozing scarlet emerald puckering leech thing for Christmas. And if hubby doesn’t get me one, I’m going to smother his palely flushed face betwixt my bulging bosom. Mrifk.
I hadn’t known that Jim Theis had passed away, and I find the news oddly saddening. I admit to being one of those who found his peculiar little narrative vastly amusing; all the same, I can’t help but wonder if he was aware of the strange life his creation had achieved, and how he might have felt about it. Maybe he’d moved on with his life and didn’t care. If he did know, I sincerely hope he found it all wryly amusing.
It’s one thing for a fan of the genre to write unintentionally dreadful fantasy stories at 16–I know I did (oh, be honest–still do)–but not all of us at that age have the opportunity to have our first published work singled out by the successful authors of said genre, held up for annual public ridicule, and then decades later immortalized over the Internet for the world to see as the worst writing the genre has to offer. So the moral of the story might be: never try anything, ever, if you’re not fully prepared for your spastic, derivative first attempts to be distributed and mocked by everyone on the planet.
On the other hand, I recognize Jim Theis’ name, which is more than I can say about any number of simply mediocre writers in any genre. I know that he made me laugh, right out loud, and not a lot of things do. If that laughter was partly from mean-spiritedness, it was also from a shared appreciation of the fantasy fiction that he clearly enjoyed. If he ever played D&D, I’d guess that he would have been a good player but a poor GM–the sort of guy who didn’t give a hoot if the campaign was well-crafted or hackneyed, but who’d immerse himself in it with enthusiasm regardless. He’d get the party into all sorts of scrapes that they’d be royally pissed about at the time, but would remember and laugh at over a beer later on.
It’s an odd little sort of immortality to achieve, but The Eye of Argon has managed to succeed despite itself, and earned Jim Theis a minor place in the pantheon of reckless zeal alongside the likes of Ed Wood, William MacGonagall, and Florence Foster Jenkins. Me, I’m glad I found out that Grignr and Carthena finally escaped into the light. Thanks for sharing, Jim. Go with Mrifk.
