The conclusion of my butt story

Continuing this saga, I’m now home from the hospital. Short answer - all is peachy-keen and fine.

Long story:
Sunday evening was unpleasant, and I just couldn’t relax to go to sleep. Having to run to the bathroom frequently didn’t much help either. So I took a hot shower, left my sweetie bundled in bed, and planted myself in front of HGTV with a glass of water and a comfy afghan (blanket - not dog or terrorist) By midnight, my system was depleted and I was sufficiently exhausted that I could finally sleep. Unfortunately, I awoke around 6 - still pooped, so to speak. I was thirsty and hungry and dragging my poor self around. Pathetic was I.

Hubby had to get to work, so he dropped me off at the hospital early. I found my way to the Day Surgery wing and got signed in. Then I spent maybe 20 minutes reading ancient magazines till I was summoned. In no time, I was settled on my bed, thankful they let me keep my socks on. The nurse who was to put in the IV faced the same challenge they all do - I have crummy veins. She was going to try in the back of my right hand, but I’d whacked it last week and it was all bruised. So she wound up poking me in the forearm - it was not the most painless IV I’d ever had, but it was short term, so tolerable.

I dozed a bit, then was wheeled down to the Endoscopy suite. When an exam room was freed up, they wheeled me into position. I got to watch the nurse set up the probe and stuff. She explained exactly what was going to happen, then took my glasses and had me turn on my side. That’s when I got a good chuckle. The cart that held the computer and all the instruments and emergency equipment was red with black drawers. At the bottom was the label: SEARS Craftsman!! She told me that they’d used those tool boxes for years. She also mentioned that a similar cart bought thru a medical supply company would cost several thousand dollars! From Sears, they were $300-400 or so. Dunno why that tickled me so, but it did.

A little later, my doc came in. He shot some Demerol into my IV. Next thing I remember was being in the pink recovery area of Day Surgery. The nice nurses gave me ice water and orange juice. They let me get dressed. They monitored my vitals and kept asking “Who’s taking you home?” Yeah - my husband was running a wee bit late. But he showed up about 12:30, signed my discharge papers, and took me home.

I’ve had some lunch and some water and some ice cream. I’m not supposed to drive or drink or overexert myself today. I’m feeling a bit dopey (refrain from cheap shots here, please… :smiley: ) but I don’t think I’m going to sleep - I’ll just crash early tonight.

So as I said - all is fine with my innards. I’m supposed to do a couple of follow-on tests for blood in the stool. IF something shows up on them, I guess they’ll hafta probe again elsewhere. But considering I’ve had no symptoms of gastro-intestinal problems, I’m assuming this was a one-time fluke. And before someone asks, no I don’t have pictures to post.

Once again, many thanks to everyone for the kind thoughts, good wishes, and extravagant gifts… no, strike that - I didn’t get any extravagant gifts. No sweat. [sub]I don’t mind. Really. [/sub] All the information you provided went a long way toward easing my worries. Youse guys are da bestest!!!

<air kisses and cyber hugs all around>

I’m glad everything went Ok for you!

Glad to hear you’re okay, and that it wasn’t horribly traumatic.

You see, this is one of those things that I am definitely NOT looking forward to as I age…

I’m glad everything worked out in the end. As I approach 40, the dual grim spectre of endoscopy and semi-regular prostate exams has me crossing my legs in dread.

I love your thread title by the way. I can’t help but think that The Learning Channel shouldn’t start a new series aimed at baby boomers. We’ve had “A Wedding Story” and “A Baby Story.” Up next “A Butt Story.”

Wow, and you have no memory of the procedure?

I wonder if some of the “alien exam/anal probe” stories came from desparate medical students looking for practice and only able to afford a partial dose of the knockout meds.

“Wa-all, Billy Bob, the aliens wanted to keep me calm, so they made the interior of their ship look like a room at the Ramada.”

Why A Duck’s a BOY? :eek: All those feathers… I had no idea…

Just kidding. :smiley:

Glad everything went well, FCM. Of course, we knew it would, but still… Now take it easy for a while, 'k?


I’m glad everything was okay in the end.


I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you the butt of a joke.


I’d better stop, before I make an ass of myself.


Seriously, though, you’ve been through a lot, and I’m glad all is well. If it makes you feel any better, Mrs. Dave-Guy has had to have polyps removed from her colon, and it’s just no fun.

I hope your husband is good to you and treats you well and brings you snackies and kisses and is real sympathetic.

Glad that it’s over and went so well. As others who have had this experience have remarked, travelling fearfully is worse than arriving.

In the “me too” department, I don’t know what they put in my IV (they called it “the happy juice”) but they assured me I wouldn’t care about anything for a while. I didn’t. The only scary thing was waking up a couple of times and being absolutely certain I was perfectly lucid. I have a vague recollection that I was also perfectly witty. I hope not!

Rest up. Take it easy. Milk it for all it’s worth.

Doctor’s orders.

I’m relieved to hear everything went well. If it hadn’t, well, it’d just be a crime … a anus crime!

::slumps on Dave’s shoulder, laughing hysterically::

So, you think it’s funny, huh? You find the plight of my caboose a source of amusement, huh? No biggie. I can deal with that. I’m still under the influence of the Demerol.

[sub]Note to self: Add DAVEW0071 and dono to The List. [/sub]
I’m not kidding about the Demerol. I’m drifting onthe edge of La-La Land. I chose not to nap, but I figure about 8 this evening, I’m gonna crash for the night. And when I get back to work tomorrow, I shall not speak of this. I don’t need my cubicle mates thinking about my butt instead of attending to their assignments…

Stop snickering! It could happen… it could…

Don’t laugh at the Craftsman roll-around toolcarts used in hospitals, a big discussion last week in the Biomedical Technician Listserver was Craftsman Tools used in Surgery!

One guy asked what the group thought about a Surgeon who wanted to use Craftsman tools, ten guys responded how it was a bad idea, exposed the hospital to liability, etc. Then, to top it off, an orthopedic surgeon lurker responded that he uses them all the time, that they work better than the expensive ‘medical’ tools.

Whatever gets the job done, I guess.

Trust me - I wasn’t mocking the use of Craftsman - I thought it was great! But it was unexpected, and it tickled me. Now, if I’d seen a drain snake hanging in the locker with the probes, I mighta been a tad more concerned…

i believe that they wait for the “happy juice” to kick in before they “bring out the snake.”

i’m glad to hear things went well. are you able to accept chocolate offerings now?

Well, while the doctor didn’t exactly say it, I believe chocolate is essential for complete and total recovery.

Chocolate - Nature’s Perfect Curative

Obviously you didn’t see the colonoscope – it’s way more scary looking than a drain snake, and it’s, um, thicker.

Isn’t modern pharmocology wonderful? She has no memory at all of the invasion of several yards of tubing.

Also, I think bringing up chocolate is in bad taste, considering.

Bad taste! Yuk!(d&r)

Yep, better living thru chemistry.

And now I’m back in the office, catching up on 2 weeks worth of accumulated stuff. (I was in training from Mar 4) Suddenly, the Demerol-induced haze seems a preferable alternative…


Hugs to you, FCM!! I’ve been following your caboose story faithfully, praying things would come out all right in the end!

I’m glad it’s all behind you now :::running into Dave and Dono’s arms, snorting hysterically::::

Seriously, welcome back to work and take it easy!