The consent form to donate our embryo to research has arrived

[Girl_From_Mars]

And I’m surprised at how sad it’s making me, considering I’ve already approved it in principle once before.

I think this is one of those Cornelian dilemmas - we have been very lucky with the IVF process to have quickly had 2 healthy kids and feel our family is complete, so we don’t want a 3rd and storage fees are expensive for a ‘just in case we change our mind situation’. I’ve talked to others who plan on implanting theirs with an attitude of que sera sera, but that’s just not right for us for a lot of reasons.

Selfish as it is I just couldn’t donate it and live wondering whether our kids’ sibling was out there somewhere, but I also feel destroying it is completely wasteful, which leaves donating it to a research project. I am comforted by the fact that I know the details of the project and it could potentially help thousands of other couples for whom IVF just doesn’t work as yet at implantation for some unknown reason - very worthwhile.

But I feel guilty and sad just the same, not because it’s already a baby or anything like that, but I can see it’s beautiful potential in my girls every day.

[Sattua]

Life is hard sometimes. Big hugs, honey.

[gracer]

I’m sorry, I can absolutely understand that it does feel sad even though you know it’s not a baby.

I think that little embryo is still full of beautiful potential. It’s perhaps different potential, but so much good can come of this!

[aruvqan]

You could think of it as your child helping research along as a subject instead of a researcher. Both jobs are important, and if the donation can advance medical science it isn’t as if they just flushed the fetus down the john [or however medical waste is disposed of. A child should never be just medical waste.]

[ZipperJJ]

Thank you so much for unselfishly giving to science. I have no doubt that something wonderful is going to come away from your donation, and help many people.

Sorry it is so painful, I admire your courage.