Wow, every toilet I’ve ever seen seems to be fastened so solidly as if to be a part of the very architectural fabric of the house. I’m surprised that a 7-y.o. kid rocking on one back and forth could have damaged it so severely.
I am wondering just how much beer and pizza you had to bribe this generous soul with?
The wax seal is easily broken, and just sitting down on one not secured by the anchor bolts can make it leak. The kid made it worse, but the anchor bolts should have been tight, that’s why their there.
From what I understand, this is actually the standard procedure for fixing toilets. You just missed the part where you had to buy two wax rings because you wrecked the first one. 
(I liked the visual of flames shooting out from your skull. Very nice touch.)
Heh. As I told the unfortunate soul, “It’s a brave man who’ll put his hands in another man’s shit.” I took him out that night (after we’d both had showers!) for burgers and a movie.
Yup. During the cleanup phase, we discovered that the anchor bolts WERE tight. However, the bottom flange on them (the part that fits into the cutouts on the soil pipe flange) had rusted to the point where they could be snapped off… which is what Tater Tot accomplished by rocking the thing. I’d used the toilet myself earlier that day, and noticed no tendency to lean, wobble, or whatever, but I’ll freely admit that had the bolts been better quality, it probably wouldn’t have been an issue. The previous homeowners had told us that the bathroom had been remodeled only two years before (and it looked it), so I can only assume that the cheapskates (a) didn’t remodel at all, or (b) were too cheap to buy a $1.99 toilet bolt kit and re-used the ones from the previous toilet. Sigh.
rhythmonly, my father-in-law is like that. When we moved in, he brought his truck to help load/unload stuff. After all was said and done he went in the house to use the bathroom. Half an hour later we’re all standing around the BBQ and he comes out, all sheepish looking, and asks if we have a plunger. We hadn’t bought one yet and neither of us brought one from our previous homes, so we had to make a run to the store to unclog the toilet… the toilet that I hadn’t even had a chance to USE yet! Geez. 