The cruelest freaking joke ever!!!

So I finish my college math test and get out of there early. Walking through the parking lot to my car, naturally the only thing I can think of is getting home and checking the boards. As I start my car and drive home I daydream about what wonderful misadventures my fellow dopers have gotten themselves into since my last visit. I wonder what challenging questions will present themselves in GQ when I sit down at my computer. I hope that maybe I will be able to answer one and help someone out. I think about the funny poll questions and surveys I might find in IMHO. I laugh out loud thinking of the new asshole someone will be given in the Pit while he/she is roasted and torn to shreads.
All this goes through my mind while I nonchalantly weave through traffic at 103mph.
Finally I make it home!! My roommate is downstairs- outside- with the dog. He informs me that he has gotten rid of Roadrunner in order to save money. (Are lease is up in a month and we are all making plans to move. He has mentioned this several times before… I never thought he’d go through with it)
So anyway, I looked at him with wide eyes and an open jaw. I say, “Well, I guess I could just dial-up”
“Oh, there is no phone modem in that computer,” he says.
What could I say?? I walked to the computer desk and stared.
The tears dripped off my cheeks and fell on the single dust-free square where the cable modem once was. I leaned back and wondered what I used to do with a computer before the SDMB- Computers have to be good for something else. But what?
I started up Diablo II knowing I would not be playing with anyone else through this time. As it loaded, I rested my face against the monitor.
Just then, my roomate walks over to me smiling. “Oh, here. I was just playing!!” He hands me the cable modem as he laughs and calls me a loser!

That f*cking ass!!! Join me in damning the bastard to hell!!! Also, if you have any good way of getting back at him, let me know. I am thinking about switching all the buttons around in his police car… that’ll teach him!!

Bear, if you’re still around, could you come up on AIM? I am weirdddave there-3 d’s. I need a favor. I’ll be out for about 1/2 an hour, but home after that. here’s hoping you see this post.

Doesn’t he UNDERSTAND??? Taking a way a man’s cable modem is taking away his last tie to sanity! I wouldn’t have shown 1/2 the restraint you did, hon. Not even a quarter.

As far as getting him back… are you sure you want MY answer? I’m a vindictive little witch! :wink:

I just spoke to a customer who had dial up. I kept rushing himthrough the pages while his 56K coudln’t keep up with him. I found myself wondering, “who doesn’t have cable modem these days?” THen I snapped to reality and realized how spoiled I’ve become since November.

I don’t have a cable modem-it’s not available I think, and besides, it’s too expensive.

Plus, don’t you have to have it connected all the time?

But then, I’m not THAT spoiled-I just read during the wait…I usually do so many things at once…