This seems a pretty harsh list. But what are the real definitive rules?
If you wouldn’t like what you’re about to do being done to you, don’t do it.
I wholeheartedly endorse these rules. They mostly boil down to “Don’t be a jerk”. If you have the brains and self-awareness to think through the flight experience, you really don’t need the detailed rules.
The only nit I’d pick is the “clean up after yourself before you exit”. There’s a cleaning crew coming on board with all sorts of cleaning equipment and the luxury of an empty plane. Give me a vacuum and some paper towels as part of the in-flight kit, and I’ll consider this rule, but otherwise, no.
I’m wearing my sweatpants because it gets me, and subsequently you, through security faster. You’re welcome.
Otherwise, I’m good with all that.
Gift link, thank you.
Where?
The link in the OP asks you to log in to read the article.
I hereby decree that all OPs that include links must be gift links. I’m sure this will carry all the weight that my prior SDMB decrees have enjoyed.
My biggest flying pet peeve is when people board the plane, and immediately toss their purse and coat in the overhead bin. That stuff goes under the seat. The overhead bins are primarily for the stuff that doesn’t fit under the seat, and they’re taking up valuable space for those items. Ok, if everyone is finished boarding and there’s still some space left, then you can put your small items up there, but wait until everyone has stowed their large carryons first.
Second biggest annoyance are the people who get up and stand near the gate as soon as they start boarding first class, even though they’re in boarding group 5. You’re just in the way of the people who are trying to board. Sit down until the gate agent calls your group.
Here’s a gift link to the article:
I’m down with all the rules, especially the “don’t recline” one—I’m 6’3”…
P.S.: Not trying to start a hijack for the contentious “should you recline?” debate. I get it, some people feel they paid for a seat that reclines and, damn it, they’ll recline if they want to.
I don’t care for #4, abandon your partner if they don’t have TSA Pre-Check but you do. That’s cold, man.
#21, Find Your Seat And Get Out Of The [F***ing] Aisle is the most important one. It is AMAZING how long it takes people to sit down. The true culprit is insane boarding methods, though. I will never understand why they don’t board back-to-front. Even if I’m in First, I’d rather board last than have 353 people trudge by while glaring at me.
We’ve done this a thousand times.
Broadly speaking, the reason is that under your method, the people who board first sitting in back will drop their luggage in the bins up front then walk to the back unencumbered. Which means the people who board later will find their seat up front and the only bin space way in the back, necessitating a round trip front-back-front with two-way traffic in the aisle both ways. Which would make it take far, far longer than it does now. With lots more big people jammed into the awkward situation of unable to pass each other and nowhere to go to get out of the way. of the other
The current methods, insofar as possible, prevent that.
IOW, the reason you can’t have nice things is other stupid selfish people. Not really news I suppose.
The obvious answer is to board all the window seats first, followed by the middle, then the aisle seats.
mmm
Which ensures families, couples, and groups sitting together will be boarded in separate tranches. Fat chance they’ll cooperate with that silly idea.
The current methods, which are subject to continual tweaking are not arrived at randomly or arbitrarily. The airlines would lurve to shave 10 minutes off boarding and 5 minutes off deboarding. The public will not cooperate in being aware and efficient and thinking of anything but maximizing their individual convenience, no matter how much that creates net inconvenience for all, including them.
See, that’s why the air marshals are heavily armed.
Regarding #5, when I get to the airport the first thing I do is remove everything from my pockets and place them in my carry-on, except for my ID and my phone (because it contains my boarding pass). While I’m waiting in the TSA line I’ll take off my shoes and belt and pull my bag of liquids out of my carry-on. It amazes me how many people wait until they get to the checkpoint to do that.
Regarding rides to the airport: If someone gives me a ride to the airport, I will reciprocate and give them a ride to the airport at some future date.
If I can’t take my shoes and socks off, how am I going to clip my toenails?
I believe United actually just started using this boarding procedure in October, with window seats first and aisle seats last. I can’t speak to how well it went because the new procedure was supposed to start a couple days after I last flew with them.
Yup. For regular Economy seating, Group 3 is now window seats. Group 4 is middle and Group 5 is aisle.
https://www.united.com/en/us/fly/travel/airport/boarding-process.html
And it’s addendum “Don’t clean up after other passengers.” On a flight back from Minneapolis one time, the lady grabbed my Toll House cookie bag that still had a cookie in it form MY seat pouch and tried to throw it away when the stewardess came by with the bag.
You should not clip your toenails, the proper way is to bite them.