The Washington Post’s Style invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some of the winners:
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Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
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Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
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Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas rom penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
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Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
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Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
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Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
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Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
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Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
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Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
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Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a totally serious bummer.
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Glibido: All talk and no action.
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Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
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Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
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Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
…and the pick of the literature:
- Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an @$$hole.
Any others?