The drag queens have their knives out for me

Apparently there’s a faction of Madison drag queens who have declared a vendetta against me. The opening salvo was fired about two months ago, when one “Trinity Matthews,” under one of her several non-drag chat names on, announced (using my real first name as opposed to my chat handle) in the room that I pay strippers for sex. This came as a surprise to me, as I have never paid a stripper for sex and to the best of my knowledge had never spoken to the person making the accusation, either in person or online. Only later did I find out who he was and that this person and Trinity were one and the same. I quickly riposted that a) I had never paid a stripper for sex, b) if I had, there is nothing wrong with paying a stripper for sex, and c) it’s really no one’s business whether I pay a stripper for sex or not. She retreated, and nothing more was heard.

Until about three weeks ago, when one “Miss Kyllie Stevens” sent me a private message reading “u r ugly.” Flabbergasted, since I again had no recollection of ever speaking to this creature, and a little annoyed at having another drag queen attack me, I said in the room how much I pitied Miss Stevens, seeing as how her life must be so utterly devoid of meaning that her only recourse for brightening her dreary existence is to try to bring down a total stranger. There was general agreement in the room as to how pathetic in general such an attack was and in particular how pathetic Miss Stevens was for launching it. She retreated into silence.

In the interim, Trinity popped off again in chat at me and I gave her some noise back. She claimed it was “all in love” and she bore no grudges. This was I guess to lull me into some false sense of security because, over the weekend…


First Miss Stevens sent another private message accusing me of cowardice for not having the courage to say disparaging things to her face. I laughed at this since she started the disparagement and it certainly wasn’t to my face. After a somewhat heated exchange that spilled from private to the chat room to private again, I put her on permanent ignore.

Later that same day, some 23 year old twink suggested I meet him at the local bar, where Miss Stevens and Trinity were both performing. He even offered to buy me a drink. I declined, mentioning that the drag queens were apparently upset with me. Suddenly the twink explodes with twink rage, saying he knows who I am, I’m the guy who routinely slags Miss Stevens when she performs, calling her “trash” and making all sorts of unkind remarks. Nonsense, I reply, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her perform and I certainly don’t routinely bad-mouth drag queens (except, N.B., when they populate the weekly stripper shows too thickly, delaying my access to the sight of hot men removing their clothes to music). Not so, cries the twink, you’ve even trashed her to me and she’s one of my very best friends! Whatever, I reply, only to find the twink has signed off in a huff. My feeling is he was assigned to attempt to lure me to the bar for some nefarious purpose which would not involve naked sex with him after.

About an hour later, Trinity privates me, asking if I have a problem with the girls in “her” show (which is in itself a laugh since it’s not her show in the first place). I say that apparently Miss Stevens is upset with me, but since I don’t care it’s not really something I’d classify as a “problem.” Trinity then launches into a mini-tirade, cataloging the litanty of abuse that I’ve supposedly heaped upon the immaculately-coiffed heads of drag queen after drag queen after poor defenseless drag queen. Only problem is, she’s accusing me of doing these terrible things at a bar that I haven’t been to on a regular basis since February. I attempted to explain to her that she has me confused with someone else, to which she responds that I have said these things directly to her while she is not in drag. Only problem is this is someone I would not speak to were she not in drag. Tiring of this little game, I put Trinity on permanent ignore as well.

So this drag cabal is plotting and scheming for some unfathomable reason against me. It would worry me, did I not know that the head of Trinity’s “house” is hot for me and won’t hear a word against me, that several other of the leading drag queens in town know I respect them, and that quite frankly no one who doesn’t do drag really gives a flying fuck at a rolling donut what drag queens do, say or think. For good or ill, drag queens are currently at the bottom of the food chain of the gay community and the little houses of games they tend to build aren’t going to do anything to dispel that perception of them. Thus, I endure the nerf-like slings and rubber-tipped arrows of my countrywomen, knowing that like so many other dramas they create, it is full of sound and fury and signifies nothing.

There are no words.

Trinity Matthews? Miss Kyllie Stevens? What the hell kind of sorry-ass drag names are those?

Whatever became of Betty Noir? Penny Dreadful? Chelsea Piers? Flotilla de Barge?

There is nothing more dangerous than a queen on the rag, but, girlfriend, no one named “Trinity Matthews” can wreak any real damage.

hmmmm…so what do gays yell at drag queens at strip shows that pisses them off so much? I realize I’m probably not going to really want to know the answer, but I’m like a slack-jawed observer being drawn to the bloody car crash site here.

I can just picture Otto in a gay strip club, heckling the drag queen:



Note to operatives: Operation Drive Otto Crazy is working. Keep up the insanity. Phase II begins tonight.


…Marsha Dimes, Virginia Hamm, Bertha Venation, Marina Del Rey, Bang Bang Gladesh…

And I’m keeping my own name on ice until I have a chance to use it: Marie-Reine duMonde.

No worries Homebrew, the thought of you in a dress lip-synching to “And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going” is all by itself enough to drive me completely mad.

Eve, I’m with you on the drag queen names. I like the punning ones myself. Were I ever to do drag my name would be Rita T Leaf. I see myself in a gypsy costume…

The queens in town are grouped into two houses, House Matthews and the House Domino. Head of House Matthews is Desiree and known cohorts are Trinity and Destiny (who, I admit, I have referred to in a weaker moment as “Density”). House Domino I’m not sure who the actual head is but members include Cass Marie and Sassy (I know). Then there are other queens who don’t bear the house name and as far as I know are unaffiliated, although there may be alliances of which I am not aware. The only one with anything approaching a punning name that I know of is Miss Karma Isabitch.

And I do not and would not heckle drag queens or any other performer. I respect drag queens as a class (present malcontents notwithstanding) and am well aware of their place in the history of the gay liberation movement. I was accused of calling them “trash” and “untalented” and stuff like that, which is spun from the cobwebs in the corners of their minds.

That’s part of why this is so laughable. If you asked the average Madison homo about pretty much any aspect of gay history, you’re likely to get a blank stare in response. The guy who actually knows and respects that history is a target.

:o How’d you get a copy of the plan for Phase II?

This reads like the setup for the latest issue of one of those backroom mags. Yikes.

Not to be alarmist, but drag queens are generally full grown, reasonably strong men, and I have heard of people crossing them getting the crap beat out them. If you have one going nutty and paranoid on you you might want to give him/her wide berth.

Wow. What a drag.

d&r, hoping Otto is more forgiving than the angry drag queen cabal


Much as I have read and I dint know that drag queens still had houses!

Keep it up this is better than television!

A big thumbs W A A A AY down for the name “Kylie Stevens”

My future ex bro in law is Elizabeth…:smiley:

I wish my life was as exciting as this.

Miss Thing!
Mary Stella!

Nothing cattier than queens. I know.
I kep hoping someone will use Jenna Tal

Though if anyone (was) ever in Cleveland, thye cannot miss Brandy Alexander (now that she’s gotten her full set of dentures)

Bah. Drag queens are like the mummy, dangerous at close range but easy to outrun. Their love of heels is their weak point. Yes, the choice of shoe is their Achilles’ heel.

Re Names-
I recently realized that the android on Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda is a drag queen. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner. She’s fond of colorful hair extensions and goes by Anne Dromeda. If that’s not a drag queen name, I don’t know what is.

Here in Philly, we have Carlotta Ttendant. Sheer genius. Robert Bloch’s Black Barter contains a witch with a wonderful drag queen name, Miss Terioso.

Just to be clear, while I have known a few (inevitable in my locale), I am not now, nor have I ever been a drag queen. Most of them dress much better than I can manage :smiley: I did once get thrown out of a drag bar, and I never did understand why - maybe I angered a drag queen?

Hah. We have Portia Turbo, Maude Boate, Claire de Lune, Vanity Faire, Courtney Act, Audrey Hep-B, Joyce Maynge, Barbra Quicksand, Amanda Diefore, Kitten Kaboodle, Chelsea Bun … I could go on.

But Otto, what have you done to bring this on? I mean I doubt they just picked you out of the phone book with a pin …

Now, can you please excuse me for any political incorrectness that I might display herein, but:

If I was a straight person hanging shit on ‘Drag Queens’ for their funny names and their indiscrete habits, I would be hauled over the coals for my lack of tact and understanding, and probably accused of being a homophobe or worse.

But it seems that there is a hierarchy of ‘sexual correctness’, that allows gay folk to disparage and denigrate those who don’t conform to their ideal of how homosexuals should behave.

I’m not challenging Otto for his OP, because it seems to me that he has been harrassed by some shitheads who probably need a good kick in the arse.

But I don’t understand the collective damnation of Drag Queens, especially in a community like this that is attempting to be inclusive of all sorts of beliefs and behaviours and lifestyles.


As far as I know, I haven’t done anything to bring this on. I’m being accused of being a heckler at a bar I haven’t visited since February.

kambuckta, no one’s making fun of or damning drag queens in general here.