Now I not only have to go find one of the local dives in the restaurant food-chain based on mashed potatoes …
Only One day into the board and Already I’ve been triggered into a cravings for 2 different foods I don’t feel like cooking for myself …
AND now have to carefully re-work my mental vocabulary so that Mashed Po-fucking-Tatoes gets it’s own file, because it is attempting to do a “find and replace” on every usage of the old “mashed potatoes” terminology.
Now, while I find the new term both catchy and perfect, I’m afraid my step-mom, who makes Wonderful Mashed… ahem… caught it … potatoes, wouldn’t appreciate the new terminology at next Thanksgiving!
Skerri- thank you for introducing new verbage into my SDMB lexicon. I will probably never say ‘mashed potatoes’ again
It was Hamburger Helper that brought down the House of MissTake. My sis refuses to eat it, and when served it at a family hoo-hah (it was pouring, couldn’t BBQ, mom is NOT Julia Childs), she took off. Didn’t speak to us for quite a while. Even now, just to be a bitch, I note “Hamburger Helper” on her grocery list.
Oh, and for your next get together? Make the mashed-po-fucking-tatoes a little runny, fill water balloons with 'em.
Then let the fun begin!
Lightingtool, a cube of butter (otherwise known as a stick) contains eight tablespoons. As for the recipe, here it is again:
Mashed Po-fucking-tatoes Side dish
Preparation time: 45 Minutes
Serves: 4-6 People Ingredients:
6-8 Russett potatoes
1/2-1 Cup Milk or half and half
1 Cube Butter
1/2 Tsp Salt
1/4 Tsp Ground white pepper
Dash of garlic powder
Dash of onion powder Preparation:
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Peel the potatoes and cut into large pieces if a shortened cooking time is required. Boiling the potatoes whole will give you a wider window for when they are cooked perfectly. Add them to the hot water, reduce to a simmer and cover tightly. Be careful not to overcook the potatoes. They should still be slightly firm and not shedding or flaking. (Overcooking potatoes causes their starch to swell and adds a grainy texture to the spuds.) Properly cooked potatoes will not quite slide off of the fork when speared. You should have to shake the fork slightly in order to dislodge the potato from it. Drain the potatoes and place them in a large bowl. Add the salt, spices, half of the butter cut into small pieces plus the milk. Mash thoroughly without overworking the mix. The potatoes should still be fluffy and not dense. Adjust salt, milk and butter to taste as you work the spuds. You should not be able to detect the onion or garlic powders in the finished product. Note: Mixing the milk, melted butter and spices will speed the mashing process and better distribute their flavors. Fried mashed potato patties are a perfect way to use any leftovers in the morning.
No need to d&r. Instant taters have their own charm. But don’t think, as the cafeteria staff at my high school did, that just because they’re instant, you don’t have to put any elbow grease into stirring them. Clumps of dried flakes are just as bad as lumps of real potato.
Skerri, I just wanted to add that I have been afraid to open this thread for days. I feared that nothing could live up to that title. But it did. Great rant. And the next time they serve that dish, I’m going to have a tough time not saying “pass the mashed po-fucking-tatos.”
With due deference to Zenster I can add improvements to his mashed potato by purely scientific means. The potatoes should be cooked well below a simmer, between 140-160 degrees for about 20 minutes then drained and cooled. This is similar to the process of making instant mash. What it achieves is preventing the rupture of the cells by the starch while recrystallising the starch so that it is insoluble. This prevents rupturing on next cooking. When ready to mash warm together milk, butter, sour cream, buttermilk or whatever your choice is with any flavourings you fancy - sauteed pancetta, onions, garlic, pepper. At the same time simmer potatoes for 5 minutes until tender above 180 degrees. This is necessary to prevent the pectin in the potato from causing clumping. This will also occur if the temperature is dropped by adding cold liquid ingredients. Drain and return to warm pan. Pass the potatoes through a ricer or mash with a fork, do not use a masher as this will rupture cells. However much moisture you like in your mash, this method will provide the silkiest dish imaginable.
It actually sounds more complicated than it is in practice and having tried it once you will swear by it.
