Because I am so bored and such a dweeb can someone direct me to if such a thing exists good HP fanfic, especially about book 7 or later?
God, Ron’s pimples were disgusting. Harry had grown to detest the sidekick who sat next to him on the train.
Perhaps Ron would have an accident…Harry gripped his wand defenestrus trainus
Hermione rose and walked down the aisle. As she passed, Harry dropped the wand and bent over to retrieve it. She kicked him solidly in the nose. She wants it, mused Harry.
Sorry, but that was coherent and had punctucation. U lose. (
)
First, google “Naked Quidditch Match” and make sure that you’re not drinking anything while reading it or you will need a new keyboard(and possibly a new monitor). It’s PG-13, I swear. That’s actually only in keeping with canon up to GoF and is set in Harry’s fifth year, but it’s too funny not to share.
A very good post-Hogwarts fic is called “After the End” and can be found at www.sugarquill.net. The authors are something like Arabella and Zsena. Again, that fic doesn’t take OotP or later into account.
If you’re looking for more recent stuff … well, nothing really comes to mind. There are some good fics I really enjoy that are incomplete(and most of them look like they’ll never be completed). There are plenty of completed ones, but they honestly aren’t that good(full of cliches, for one).
Christ on a crutch, muttered Ron, took the sawn off Mossberg 500 from beneath his robes and blew Voldemort through the wall.
ok, fine.
If you want to find good adult Harry Potter fanfiction, then you should join one of the many 18+ sites they have devoted to the subject. Apparently, WarnerBrothers went after some writers, so now a lot of authors feature their stuff on websites where you have to register to read the fanfics.
The original last line was supposed to be, “And only those he loved could see his scar.” With the idea that Harry was surrounded by so many friends and loved ones that no one but them got close enough to see it. Really cheesy if you asked me.
All was well.
Until Harry became dimly aware of a distant thumping sound, which gradually grew louder and nearer and more insistent until he jolted awake in the darkness of the cupboard under the stairs at number 4 Privet Drive.
“Oi Potter,” yelled Dudley as he hammered on the other side of the door. “Wake up you dickhead!”
“What a remarkably long (and surprisingly lucrative) dream,” Harry thought to himself, rubbing his eyes. Then his hand went to his forehead and he sat up with a start. Just as it had been when he went to sleep the previous night, his forehead was smooth, unlined and bore not a trace of a scar.
The End. 
Entertaining read. Thanks!
The site seems to be farked. I blame gay marriage. 
I coulda sworn it was sugarquill.net … Hm, I can’t find it myself at work, but I do know how you can find a link to the story. Go to gems.wizardtales.net , go to the Harry/Ginny Gems section and look for the link to After the End. There are a bunch of other fics linked to there but I have to warn you, despite the fact that they’re labeled gems the quality is erratic.
Erratic quality in fanfic? I don’t beleive it! Actually, it’s the norm.
My favorite post-Deathly Hallows fanfic so far is Teddy Lupin and the Forest Guard by FernWithy. Actually, all of her stuff is fantastic. This one is novel-length and not complete, but she’s pretty good about finishing what she starts.
I also recommend Tea With the Dark Lord by cranberry_crash if you’re looking for something shorter (especially if you’re a Luna fan).
Well, I rather liked the end of the Harry Potter series but it was incredibly predictable. Young stud faces down the dark wizard and with the help of a band of devoted friends defeats him utterly (against all odds). In reality, it would go more like this:
19 Years Later:
“Well, Ginny, I’m off to work,” Harry said. “Albus was misbehaving again this morning, so I had to give him 10 minutes of the Crucius curse. If the neighbors complain about the screams, turn them into mice and feed them to Nagini’s offspring.”
“Yes…dear.”, Ginny said slowly.
Harry shot her a quick look. Was the Imperious curse that kept her compliant starting to fade? He made a mental note to recast it when he got home and disapparated, appearing in the Hogwart’s teacher’s lounge. He quickly changed into his professorial Slytherin robes and grabbed his textbooks, richly bound in Weasley-skin leather. As he strode through the corridors, savoring the pathetic screams of Mudbloods being used for practise by the Offense of the Dark Arts class, his scar suddenly began to burn underneath his stringy hair.
“You’re late again, Harry!” a voice hissed.
“Sorry, Headmaster Voldemort,” Harry whined.
“I’m afraid it’s the Dementors again tonight, Harry.”
“Yes, Headmaster. Thank you, Headmaster.”
Cursing inwardly, Harry entered the classroom. “Well, class,” he snarled. “Today we’re making Potions of Unending Agony. We’ll test them on the Gryffindors. Open your textbooks.”
As the class worked feverishly under the lash of his wand, Harry daydreamed of the coming weekend and his plans to rain torment on the remaining Muggles of London. “Well,” he thought, “It could be worse.”
Don’t I know it. Still, one would hope that a list of so-called “Gems” would be a bit more selective.
On the other hand, when I compare to the kind of fics that aren’t being included, I suppose they are being rather selective.
“Close, but no scar” - good one! But I like Finagle’s ending the best so far. Though Windwalker is more subtle.
How about this:
All was well.
*Back in their office at the Ministry, Harry and Ron were going over paperwork, when a flying paper airplane hit Ron in the head. “Ouch!” said Ron, and after ripping open the interoffice memo, his eyes widened. “Hermione has to go on another month-long trip to Bulgaria for an international conference. And guess who’s presiding at the conference? That Krum guy!” Ron’s ears starting turning red, but just then George popped his head into the office.
“Hey little brother, how about you, Harry and I go down to the Leaky Cauldron tonight for a Firewhiskey?”
Ron sighed. “No, it’s my turn to watch Hugo.”
George conjured up a silvery whip in the air, making a sharp CRACK! “What about you, Harry?”
“Sorry, tonight is our good-bye dinner, Ginny is leaving for the European Quidditch tournament with the Harpies”.
“And Hermione is going to be gone for a month in Bulgaria too!” Ron complained.
“I’ve got an idea!” said George. "Why don’t you two take Hugo and Lily and come stay with me at the Burrow for a while, it’s been lonely since Mum and Dad left for Spain. We could be…
Wizards & Kids!!*[sup]1[/sup] (applause, laughter coming from an unseen audience)
[sup]1[/sup](coming this Fall to NBC)
Oh, and … am I the only one who’s read “Hogwarts, a History”? You can’t apparate or disapparate inside Hogwarts!!!
You think I hadn’t thought of that? That was true 19 years ago, before the big epic battle where the Death Eaters invaded Hogwarts and dissolved all the protective spells. Nowadays, they * hope * someone will apparate within Hogwarts. All those giant snakes don’t feed themselves, you know, and they’re running out of Mudbloods.
Is it wrong to want to beat you with a 3 day old mackerel and laugh at this at the same time, Arnold?
Back on the Off Topic of HP Fanfiction:
I’m currently reading at Harry Potter Fan Fiction A secret thought by Elisha. A Hermione - Malfoy story line. It is very good, but after chapter 30 ( where I am well and truly hooked, the link is farked. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the testicles, if I actually owned testicles.)
False alarm, there is a storm coming in this area and my computer hates me. I’m able to progress further into the story and continue to waste time.
Scale things back to Defcon1.
As the express disappeared in the distance, Ron challenged Harry to a car race to the ministry and sprinted towards the lot. Ginny, who was none too happy about it yelled after him “Ron, stop being such a child…!” and dutifully ran after him.
Harry looked down and rubbed his scar with his right hand as Hermione slowly approached from behind him on his left. Once side by side with him, she locked pinkies with him without ever looking over.
“Have you told her?” she asked in a matter-of-fact tone.
“No.” Harry replied, his headache growing worse.
“Harry…we agreed. After the last of the children were in Hogwarts…remember?”
“I know what I said Hermione…” Harry replied. He was looking at the cement of 9 ½, where he had first walked so very long ago. Life had been so much simpler then.
“Well….?” She asked expectantly.
Harry looked up and at the back of Ginny. It had been 19 years and Voldemorte was long gone. It was time for him to start living. Letting go of Hermione’s hand, he walked quickly to catch up with the two ginger Weasleys ahead of him. There would be tears and anger…and friendships would end. But finally, life for him and Hermione would begin anew. There was work to be done and love to be made at the founding of a new school. In Australia.
ooooooooooooooooooooh.
Me likey.