The England Football Team & Eriksson

The BBQ Pit
1

You are a totally useless bunch of twats, you promise so much and deliver fuck all…everything fucking time you balls it up.

The penalty spot is 12 yards from the goal line, now then a ball struck at say 60mph gives the keeper no chance to save it, the ball should be in the net before he has had time to fart much less move.

But no!! you miss, yet again. Carragher, Lampard and Gerrard you are paid tens of thousand of pounds a week and you can’t score from the spot you pathetic fuckers.

As for you Rooney WTF were you thinking of?

The idea is to kick the ball not your opponents nuts thereby getting yourself sent off you moronic oaf.

Eriksson, your tactics were abysmal, you have no fucking idea. Playing one striker is idiotic especially when the striker you pick is out of his normal position.
My next door neighbour who runs a team of under 13s has more footballing nous than you, for that matter so do I and most other England fans.

I’m glad to see the back of you, you overpaid cunt, millions of pounds paid to you, for what???

But now the FA in their wisdom have appointed McClaren, your sidekick :frowning: so no change really is there?

The only winners in Germany were the English fans, tens of thousands of them followed the team around cheering, singing and shouting for the team they love and yes they’ll do it again because they believe in the team.

Very little hooliganism, those days thank God are over, just a bunch of supporters having a good time and then their dream is killed by a bunch of prima donnas.

You so called football stars can go back to your million pound mansions now and count your money, you disgust me and many thousands like me…you bastards.

2

What can a mere mortal add?

3

I forgot to mention that Eriksson took just 4 forwards to Germany and 2 off them were unfit, Owen and Rooney.

He also took Theo Walcott a player who has NEVER played in a premier league game, the lad never even got a kick of a ball.

More proof that Eriksson is an utter and absolute prick.

4

Eriksson is a player? Not the phone company? Damn! I was going to rail against them and FIFA some more. sigh

5

You think your team is full of overpaid amateurs? You guys have won the damn thing once, fercrissakes.

6

[QUOTE=fetus]
You think your team is full of overpaid amateurs? You guys have won the damn thing once, fercrissakes.
[/QUOTE]

Nope, they are overpaid professionals and it was 40 bloody years ago we won it.

I mean 40 years fer crissakes :frowning:

7

I think fetus was referring to the likes of Landon Donovan and DeMarcus Beasley, pillars of FIFA’s fifth ranked football team.

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[QUOTE=kevegan]
I think fetus was referring to the likes of Landon Donovan and DeMarcus Beasley, pillars of FIFA’s fifth ranked football team.
[/QUOTE]

Don’t think so 'cos amateurs play for the love of the game, they don’t get paid

9

I think fetus was using ‘amateur’ in its meaning of ‘poorly performing’ or ‘bungling’, rather than ‘non-paid’.

10

I, and most Danes for some reason, always cheer on England when Denmark is not in. But I think probably you and the English media and fans expect too much. There’s a few good players, but England i the last many world cups never was a serious contender for the trophy. You had some bad luck with injured players, still got to the quater finals. Had a great (Beckham) goal. Could have won against Portugal. What more could you realistic expect? Also Rooney’s red card looks a bit unfair – it doesn’t look like he intended it.

Eriksson looks like he’s made of wood (he also resemble the weak assed and goofy looking dad in ALF), he was what was needed the first few years but have long overstayed his time. I hear he was paid more that 25 million pounds for his years in England.

11

I also think the penalty kicks as a way to decide the match should be done away with entirely. Instead do a rematch the day after. Or give the teams ability to substitude 11 players and a immediate rematch.

12

England always manage to amaze the teeming millions who supports it by pulling the stupidest trick on book. Apart from Brazil , England have the most support in this region it’s been a really dissapointing worldcup.

I got few questions for the England fans

  1. What the hell are you doing with Crouch? He cant run for the life of him and there are not many overhead passes created to penalty box for him to be effective.

  2. Out of all these football leagues in England , you cannot find a decent goal keeper?

  3. Why are these players look ashen faced when they are taking penalties? Is it the first time they are doing it ? As soon as I saw Lampard looking like vampire took all his blood out , I knew England was going to lose.

For the record I thought Rooney was unlucky and I hope you guys get rid of that Cristiano Ronaldo asshole for good.

Last saturday was a black day for England sports.

Out of Worldcup
Thrashed by Sri Lanka in cricket
Fred Trueman passed away

13

Piffle! You’ve won one. You don’t get to cry and whine.

It’d take forever to get the game decided, and there’s no time with a packed schedule. Penalty kicks are the only decent way to go. There’s nothing wrong with them! It always peeves me a bit when people talk about teams “getting lucky” by winning in PKs. On the contrary, did you see Germany-Argentina or England-Portugal? The goalkeepers won their games fair and square, lifting their nations on their shoulders. To say that those wins were “lucky” is utterly ridiculous.

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[QUOTE=fetus]
Penalty kicks are the only decent way to go. There’s nothing wrong with them! It always peeves me a bit when people talk about teams “getting lucky” by winning in PKs. On the contrary, did you see Germany-Argentina or England-Portugal? The goalkeepers won their games fair and square, lifting their nations on their shoulders. To say that those wins were “lucky” is utterly ridiculous.
[/QUOTE]
Most goal keepers actually like penalty kicks, as there’s no expectations weighing down on their shoulders. They can only surprise positively. Whereas the pressure on the kickers is almost inhumane. I do think there’s a big element of chance in it. Perhaps not all chance. But the skill that makes a good overtime penalty kicker, have little to do with what else makes a good football player. And two teams taking pot shots at each other goals just has little to do with what I like about football.

And oh yeah. That Peter Crouch fellow. For a tall guy he sure is a louse header, he looks like he would be more at ease as a check-out boy at a mini market. He scored one lousy goal against Tobago, and had to climb on one of the defenders back to acomplish that. And then the foolish looking bastard apparently even has a very beautiful wife. Damn I should have been an overpaid football star.

15

[QUOTE=fetus]
Piffle! You’ve won one. You don’t get to cry and whine.
[/QUOTE]
I believe the idea is, if you want to claim to have invented the game, you’re morally obligated to be best at it more than once in 76 years. If the World Baseball Classic becomes a regular thing, you’d sort of hope the US team could win sometimes, right?

Someone, I now forget who, said to me before the World Cup started that he predicted Germany would win every penalty shoot-out they faced and England would lose same. If you’ll allow me to stretch the mixed sports metaphor about further, he’s batting 1.000 so far…

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[QUOTE=Kalu]

  1. What the hell are you doing with Crouch? He cant run for the life of him and there are not many overhead passes created to penalty box for him to be effective.
    [/QUOTE]
    Crouch is all right. I used to be a big critic, but he’s unfairly maligned, IMO. No, he’s not exactly a superstar striker (and certainly shouldn’t be left on his own up front), and yes his pace can sometimes seem glacial, but as a Liverpool fan I have to say I’ve come around to him; his hold-up play is good, and while he’s actually rubbish in the air when attacking goal, he is good at knocking the ball down for a nippier striker to run on to. Not his fault he was playing with an Owen so far off his game he was barely on the pitch, nor is it his fault the wing service was so lousy. He does good work for Liverpool. (Note, assorted media pundits, how I avoided the phrases “good touch for a big man,” and “he gives us another option.” That’s professionalism.)

Had Eriksson, for example, had the balls to drop Lampard, and played 4-4-2 with Carrick/Hargreaves + Gerrard in central midfield and Crouch + Rooney up front, rather than stranding Rooney 30 yards from the nearest England player, I think we’d be in the semis right now rather than wondering how old our best players are going to be in 4 years’ time. Instead we got a squad hamstrung by its own talent and its manager’s utter inability to drop someone fantastic in favour of someone merely great, but actually useful.

Personally, I’m laying pretty much all of the blame at Eriksson’s feet. At no time did it ever seem like he had any sort of game plan; his squad selection and tactical formations were the work of a man utterly unable to think further than “pick 11 ‘best’ players, shoehorn into some sort of shape.” That’s not football management, it’s not coaching, it’s fucking dumb. So that’s why we saw Hargreaves get stuck at right-back, Carragher in midfield. That’s why, despite having some of the best attacking midfielders in the world, our midfield never functioned because Eriksson had to play all of them at once. The team that hires him are fools. “Oh, look at his competitive record,” people cry. Fuck off; any moron could win a whole bunch of games with those players. This is the single brightest crop of players we’ve had in decades, and Eriksson has wasted it and for what; “only one loss in qualifying”? Who the fuck cares? What sort of achievement is that?

And for what it’s worth, I’m not whinging this much simply because we didn’t win it; that was always pretty unlikely simply because there are so many great teams knocking around. It’s because we didn’t even show up. Not one encouraging performance. I don’t remember the last time I saw England play and came away thinking “yeah!”

And now we’re stuck with McClaren, thanks to the morons at the FA. Not only do they manage to shoot themselves in the foot by declaring that a new boss must be found before the World Cup, thus ruling out practically every current national boss, not only do they manage to deliberately sabotage the Scolari appointment by leaking it, not only that, no: we also somehow pass over Martin O’Neill, who it transpires would’ve taken the job if offered. And so we’ve got McClaren. Oh, but he’s a “straight-talking Englishman.” Because that’s important, you see; over here we don’t mind if we’re shit, as long as we’re told it straight. Or something. My Middlesbrough-supporting Welsh friend is ecstatic we’ve taken the muppet away from his team. For him it’s like waking up to find someone’s removed the derelict Ford Escort from your driveway and crashed it into the first-floor window of your neighbours from two doors down who you never got on with. Bah. I dread to think what we’re paying the useless dickhead.

17

[QUOTE=Dead Badger]
we also somehow pass over Martin O’Neill, who it transpires would’ve taken the job if offered.
[/QUOTE]

That’s possibily not a bad thing. Did you hear any of his punditry? He’s clearly lost his marbles. Can never remember what he’s trying to say and had a bizzarre conversation boasting about how he’s won the European Cup. I think the strain of looking after his wife has melted his brain.

I reckon MacLaren will be just as ineffectual as Sven which means I can see Iain Wright almost cry again in two years time when England fuck up the European Championships.

18

Agree with what Dead Badger said., all of it.

As for why we don’t have a decent goalkeeper I have no idea. Time was when England could be assured of a good crop of 'em but these days we got zilch.

England players look ashen faced when taking penalties 'cos they are shit scared of missing, which they usually do anyways, somehow we have the mockers on us in this field.
Oh for another Francis Lee, never missed a single penalty in his career, Manchester City won the league off his pens and Derby didn’t do so bad.

For what it’s worth I reckon Stuart Pearce and Sam Allardyce would make a great partnership, both these guys have passion unlike the fucking Swede who sat there like a turd on a hill. Mc .Claren…bollox!!! I wouldn’t pay that bloke in Kit Kat wrappers.

19

[QUOTE=Arch Trout]
That’s possibily not a bad thing. Did you hear any of his punditry? He’s clearly lost his marbles. Can never remember what he’s trying to say and had a bizzarre conversation boasting about how he’s won the European Cup. I think the strain of looking after his wife has melted his brain.
[/QUOTE]
You reckon? I thought it looked like he wasn’t used to being on telly, but had a lot of far more interesting things to say than any of his co-pundits. I agree he seems somewhat egotistical and would probably be a challenge to work under, but as you seem to agree, England do need a strong personality.

Hell, even if he has lost his marbles, he’d still be better than Macca. Ian Wright would be better than Macca. Ian Wright’s chair would be better. We don’t need a straight-talking Englishman, we need someone who doesn’t feel so beholden to perceived form that he can’t drop an in-form player (or for that matter a formerly-good one). I’d rather be cockily told how we’re going to succeed by a foreigner, than honestly told why we’ve fucked up by an Englishman.

Sorry, I seem to be losing all hope here. Deep breaths… :slight_smile:

20

The last time I saw England play and came away thinking “yeah” was when we beat Germany 5-1 on their own turf.

Don’t hold your breath in the hope it’ll happen again.