The eyes have it

I went to an afterwork party recently where I ran into a woman telling party goers about her retinal reattachment surgery. Her doctor had told her not to lift anything over twenty pounds for the first week after her surgery and nothing over twenty five pounds for the two weeks after that.

The general response was: “No lifting!? After eye surgery!?”

Had I been my usual sober, reasonable, stoic self, I might have nodded knowingly and said, “Of course, the pressure behind the eye could increase with exertion causing damage to the weakened tissue.”

Instead I said,“Of course lifting is off limits. Also, no eying up the competition, don’t look out of the corner of your eye and, for Og’s sake, no undressing anyone with your eyes!”

EYYYeeee - no pirate imitations either, matey!

Giving someone the stinkeye might set her up for a nasty infection. It might be too late to warn her about that, though, huh?

I could tell her to keep an eye out for it.