The Fairytale of New York (The Pogues) -- need a new lyric!

Hey y’all,

I’m singing The Fairytale of New York with some friends for a work-related Christmas celebration, but there’s one line that needs a changin’. So I thought I’d turn to the collective creative mind of the SDMB for some help!

Here’s the song:

Here’s the line in question:

You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot…

We’ve decided that “faggot” is a little too harsh (but we’re keeping in “slut” and “arse”!) so I need to find a way to replace it, like…

You scumbag, you bastard, you’re always so plastered…

The new line must be an insult of sorts, and must rhyme. GO! :smiley:

You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap, lousy Daggit.

You scumbag, you wanker, you festering canker.

If you don’t want to sing that word, sing a different song. It’s supposed to be offensive, and to bowdlerise it misses the point of the song. It’s not a happy, cheery one.

You can suck all our dicks, you big bundle of sticks.

This reminds me of the time I encountered a guy doing a cheerful upbeat version of Stan Rogers’ “Northwest Passage”. “Seeking gold and glory, leaving broken weathered bones, and a long forgotten lonely cairn of stones, allright, yeah”!

I have to agree. If you are going to sing the Fairytale of New York, then fucking sing the Fairytale of New York.

I agree with Steophan and Dag Otto, but I’ll point out that your group certainly isn’t the first to want to do a bowdlerised version of this song. There already exist plenty of recorded and released covers of this song with that lyric changed.

I remember almost vomitting once to a version that used the line:

If you’d like to incite vomitting, you may want to use that lyric.
At least when people hate it you can claim no authorship and cite that there have been versions of the song released with that lyric.

Yeah Ronan Keating did that version. Shudder

I came in to mention the “haggard” variant.

Sing it as is, with a pause at that line to include an auditory footnote.

"You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot used in this instance as an Irish perjorative meaning a burdensome, worthless person

Happy Christmas your arse I pray God it’s our last…"

I think it was last Holiday Season that I started a thread that many, many (mostly European) people think this is a happy, festive and hopeful Christmas song. These people are, of course, crazy. No offense Europe.

As a European, none taken, it’s certainly true. It has an upbeat tune, and most people don’t really listen beyond that. MacGowan’s voice probably doesn’t help that!

Either do the song as it’s written or don’t do it at all.

You need at least keep to the true spirit of the original verse

You scum bag
You dildo
You cheap lousy crack ho’
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God
It’s our last

But he built his dreams around her! It’s a love-song really sniff

Thanks for all the suggestions, guys. For the record, we’re definitely not trying to make the song a happy, cheerful one – we just don’t want to offend one of our many gay employees by using a term that, in the US at least, is extremely offensive. Especially for people who’ve never heard the song before!

And I totally consider this to be a love song. A dramatic, drunken mess of a love song, but a love song nonetheless. swoon

Any chance you could get one of the openly gay guys in the office to sing that particular lyric for you?

Someone playing an instrument for our performance just suggested “cheap lousy braggart,” which works pretty well!

Miller, I do know of one co-worker who probably would belt that word out flamboyantly! But to be safe, I think we’ll go with “braggart.” :stuck_out_tongue:

Is slut not kinda offensive too?

This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps. Now get all these monkey loving snakes off my Monday to Friday plane. Yipee ki-yayy Mr. Falcon