My wife and I just spent the last week in Northern Vermont - leaf peeping and enjoying all things New England. We were sitting on top of a mountain when I commented on the scenery…
Isn’t this beautiful? What a wonderful landscape…?
My wife’s response to looking at the wonderful fall colors was not what I expected. She said:
Jeez I hope the Meezers[sup][/sup] are doing ok with the inlaws watching them*…
I was a little shocked she was thinking about our cats when we were supposed to be looking at the scenery… That goes to show you how attached my wife is to the little siamese terrors at home. She seriously considers them an absolute part of the family, like having a son and a daughter. Personally, I consider the little heffalumps pets…but then my wife does not read the boards all that often and she will most likely not see what I have said.
How about everyone else? Your pet dog, cat, hampster, chinchilla whatever, are they simply a pet, or are they a bona fide member of your immediate family?
I’ve got a cat and a dog (and assorted fish, and two aquatic frogs.) The boyfriend and I joke about our “fur-kid” and our assorted “scale-kids” and that one “shell-on-its-back-kid” (which is good if the snail ever decides to run away from home, I guess) but it’s just a joke. They’re beloved pets, each according to its scientific heirarchy, but they’re pets. I love them, and when they die I’ll grieve, but it’s not like they’re my babies or anything. I know people like that and frankly I find it a little disturbing.
There’s a lady I know who calls her dogs her children (she’s childless and likely to remain so). I mean, if that’s what helps her get through the night, okay, and it’s none of my business, but I don’t think it can be very healthy.
They’re just pets. I have no cuddly ones, just two turtles and two geckos, but if I had a cat it would not be considered a member of the family at all. Not because of my aversion to cats, but simply because a cat doesn’t act like one. A cat is extremely independent.
Most animals I would absolutely not consider a member of the family. The one exception I would make is dogs. Dogs consider themselves to be members of the pack, they are of a different mindset of pet.
My purple budge, Caesar, is sort of a family member; certainly more than just an animal to me; he’s a companion - he sits on my shoulder and I talk to him (and he talks back), but it would be silly if I said he has equal status with my kids or anything.
My dog is a pet. I care about him, and will be sad when he dies, but in the end, he’s still a dog. Like Zsofia, I find this recent “pets are babies” thing weird. It creeps me out when people refer to my dog as my baby, or my son.
This is absolutely untrue. While there are varying levels of dependence in terms of affection among different cats, domesticated housecats are, on the whole, very affectionate animals.
The fish? They are barely pets. When we had the big old severums that had actual personalites, they were pets–the loaches and tetras we have now are more like scenery.
The cats we have now are pets. I have had a cat in the past that was more a member of the family, but I don’t have that connection with any of my current cats. I love the cats, and mourn them as they die, but they are pets.
The dogs are members of The Pack. They are Our Girls. We are “Mom” and “Dad” in conversation–the Alpha Pair, and I am the Big Dog. It will devestate my husband when they go–they are like his second family. Really, we added the last three dogs as our nest emptied and my husband loves his girls. I will be heart-broken when my older dog, Shane, dies. She has been part of my life for almost 13 years–the kid who never talked back, didn’t think I was mean for setting boundaries, helped my human kids learn about empathy for non-human animals. She is more than a pet.
Don’t bother pitting me for thinking about my pets as more than just dumb animals. Ask me what I think of humans, then pit me for that.
Yup. I still miss the elkhound that we had to put down in '01 and the stingray that died a couple of years ago, but the two dogs, two whistle-pigs, cat, dragon, and hedgehog are just pets. I worry more about whoever we drafted to care for them when we’re on vacation than I do for the critters.
We had a cat when I was 6 or 7 that was considered a family member. My parents were with my sister on our upper deck when the cat went insane and bit my sister’s arm, hard. I watched from the lower deck as my father wrestled the cat off my sister’s arm, then promptly threw it as hard as he could off the deck and into the woods. The cat died, of course.
Point being that animals are considered family members until they blow it, at which point they’re just filthy animals.
When they want to be. Not unconditionally. I’d say 90% of my friends have cats, and it isn’t remotely the same as a dog that will be petted and loved any old time - and the friends say so themselves! Most of them have cats because they’re away at work all day and so the cat can entertain itself and not be needy.
Personally, I think they’re all just waiting for a paw-operated can opener before they take over the world.
I adore my dogs and don’t plan on having kids, but they’re pets. I try to think of their happiness as much as possible when considering bringing them places and whatnot, and I will be very sad when they die. But after these two die, there will be other dogs, and I will love them too. The problem with tying yourself too closely to any pet is the lifespan thing. No matter what you do, it’s pretty unlikely they’re going to live more than 15 years; if they really are children to you their deaths are going to be absolutely crushing.
My dogs are members of the family. They are not four-legged people in fur suits, though, and we don’t treat them that way. They are dogs and have their own needs that are unlike ours. We remember that and respect it. I also think that people can learn rather a lot by watching the way animals interact with each other and with us.
My cat, Samantha, is something akin to a court jester. She’ll come up and demand attention, and then she’ll fight with a sock for a while because she doesn’t realize that it follows her because she has her claw in it. In exchange for being so damn amusing, I feed her, shelter her, and give her a place to sleep.
I certainly don’t equate my pets with children. However, they are a part of my family. Part of what defines my husband and I as people is that we love our pets. I’m not about to carry them around in my purse and I don’t expect people to love them as much as I do.
I’ll admit that we sometimes use the terms “mama” and papa" when talking about ourselves and the pets (but never in front of others; I wouldn’t want anyone to take it the wrong way). I also jokingly refer to my mom as “grandma,” as in, when she comes over I ask the dog if he said hello to grandma (usually said while he’s doing the excited happy dance when she comes in the door). However, I am most definitely not confused and do not think they are my babies, nor do I actually think my parents are their grandparents. My pets are my companions and playthings and I enjoy their company. I will be sad when they are gone but I know it’s nothing compared to losing a child.
Not that I mistake them for people in any way, and I certainly would not place them on equal footing with any human member in any matters of importance.
But they are not merely property. They are part of the group of us that makes our way through the world together. I simply expand my notion of the word family to include non-human members.
Our dogs and cats are definitely family members, but we don’t go overboard with anthropomorphic silliness such as having birthday parties for them and inviting their friends over.
I feel a deeper emotional bond with my pets than I do with some of the humans to whom I have genetic ties. That’s not to say that I think animals are the moral and spiritual equivalent of humans; it’s just that some animals treat me better and offer me more affection and enjoyment than some humans do. If appreciating this, and giving my pets a special place in my heart, makes me a Crazy Cat Lady, so be it.
