The fastest way through a border checkpoint.

I do not recommend trying this, especially not for anything illegal, but I found it amusing. It’s safe for work.

Wow that was fast! I was just going to chime in that the fastest way I have encountered is flying into a small UK airport (Teesdale or Liverpool) from the EU. Both times, I was the only person in the non-EU passport line and they put me through first. It was splendid.

Although, once driving into Canada with my partner and kids (pre-passport required days so we just had birth certificates, etc.), the border guard asked my ~3/4 year old son, “And what is your name?” And my son says his first name. So the guard prompts, “What is your last name? Or other part of your name?” And my son says back, “I not have other names, but sometimes my Dadda calls me Nipper.” The guard started guffawing and waved us on through.