The Fat Man Rants

The BBQ Pit
41

I’m with the OP - in a rather less militant way, of course.

I stopped going to the gym for precisely that reason.

Working out for me is a nasty, painful chore. I went to the gym 4 - 5 times a week for in excess of a decade and it remained, each and every time, a nasty, painful chore. I do not get the endorphin rush. I do not want someone gushing to me about how if I just tried a little harder (or, my personal favorite, “enjoyed exercise”) I’d find that going to the gym was a fabulous thing. Going to the gym has never, ever been fun. Exercising has never been fun for me, and it never will be. And God knows I’ve tried to like it - I played team sports, I tried solo workouts, I tried running, swimming, martial arts - nada. My liking exercise just ain’t in the cards. I do it, because it’s the right thing to do, but I won’t ever find the contentment and fun other people do. I am perfectly fine with this. Now stop treating me as defective because of it. ** Different strokes for different folks, and all that jazz.

It wasn’t because I was working out too hard in order to cram six weeks of work into three days (and hey, thanks for that condescending assumption every single person who’s told me that was why I hate working out!). I’m not actually capable of doing so - arthritis and seriously degenerated joints. The excruciating pain if I myself too hard is a wonderful deterrent, let me tell you.

My knees in particular are sufficiently bad that all exercise is at the very best mildly painful. Mild pain I can ignore, but working out at a level that raises my heartreat sufficiently leans on into moderate pain. I can deal with it, but I don’t want to deal with it while fending off people who want to discuss why I’m not on the South Beach Diet, or who ask me for a detailed book report on the book I’m reading as I do my ultra-low-impact workout - because the fact that I had earphones in and was reading wasn’t enough of a clue I didn’t want to chat.

I also do not want to be upsold personal training by any of the perky 20-year-old employees.

I do not want to have detailed discussions about my medical history, either. I shouldn’t have to explain my medical issues to every, single person in the gym who gets a crooked hair and decides they can Help Me Out With My Obvious Fatness. I’m aware of my disease, I’m aware of my limitations, I’m aware of what I can and cannot do. My doctor and I have it in hand. As you are not my doctor, I don’t want to discuss my disease with you. I don’t care what your Aunt Mabel did for her arthritis. I particularly and with pure, searing clarity of desire, do not want to deal with your outright skepticism about the existence of my disease. Yes, people under the age of 65 can have arthritis. No, I do not have arthritis because I’m fat. It’s the other way around, you wanker. I am not a medical encycolopedia. If you want more information about arthritis, feel free to fire up the Google and have at it.

I don’t want to have conversations with “gentlemen” in the gym who are apparently constitutionally unable to raise their eyes higher than my cleavage or who want to “help” me with my exercises as an excuse to try and touch my boobs.

I don’t care about the sex life of the girl half my age working out next to me - nor do I want to hear about it.

I’m perfectly civil. If you say “Hi” and I hear you, I’ll say “Hi” back - but that’s not an invitation to discuss your whole life story. I’m always plugged into my mp3 player - and if I’m not actually using weight machines, I’m reading a book. This is partially to indicate that I do not wish to talk to people. The rest of it is to keep my own mind off of the fact that I’m not having a good time here.

All I want to do is get in, do it, and get out as quickly as possible. Sort of like the dentist’s office.

All of this is why I now do all of my working out in the privacy of my own home.

** Note my comments here are directed to persons at gyms I have attended generally, not anyone specifically in this thread or on the SDMB.

42

Another great point, Mambo. If you don’t like working out, then don’t! Lifting weights will not help you lose weight, specifically, as the process is geared more toward building/toning muscle. Yes, the added muscle will burn more calories, but that’s not the main point. Cardio will work well, but I agree with the majority of people who find it dull.

Find a sport that you like, and start doing it. I play tennis about twice a week on average, and I look forward to it like nothing else. Find a sport that will let you play at your current fitness level (racquetball? you can play slowly with another skill-appropriate player), and join a club/league. Make sure you PAY to join, as this will incent you to go.

Minor nitpick about swimming…it’s great for toning and endurance, but I think I read about it being inefficient for weight-loss…something about the temp of the water lowering caloric output? No cite…sorry.

-Cem

43

If you can’t enjoy the exercise, well, I’m not such an absolutist that I think this is impossible. But I would also suggest that maybe you try something different- and, if nothing works, well, appreciate the results and hate the method all you like- it’s no skin off my back.

But don’t snipe at me that you’re not here to participate in my endorphin-laced, all-inclusive, sweaty good time. Because I am not there to indulge your self-loathing either.

If I’m stretching between sets and say, “nice day,” or “how’s that going?” or “does that lift work as well for you as skullbusters?” and you give me a snark or a “fuck you,” then YOU’RE the asshole, not me.

(None of this applies to solicitations for training/nutrition-counseling/other pay-to-play services by gym staff, crude/clumsy romantic advances, or an attempt to start a ten-minute conversation. Then the initiator is the asshole, and snark is in order.)

44

Words cannot convey how much I agree with your post, Aangelica, especially the paragraph quoted above.

I do not attend public gyms any more, for many of the reasons discussed upthread. I’m all for a friendly greeting, but far too many people can’t understand that I’m there to work, and however pitiful and short my routine may be, it requires concentration for someone with my limitations. I am not there to converse at length, I am there to rebuild those parts of my body that are still salvageable.

In addition, I do not ever want to have to explain AGAIN to a 20-year old assigned to “teach me how to use the equipment before I’m allowed to use the exercise room” that I will NOT try the machine while she’s standing there because I CAN’T use the machine even at its lowest setting, and I will never be able to. I understand that she’s required to go through the motions for liability reasons and that’s fine, but there’s no point in “encouraging” me to try it right now because “really soon you’ll be strong enough to use it” after my having explained that I have limitations that prevent me from doing so. No, I won’t be able to. Ever. And the specific reasons why are none of her business.

Patrons and employees of the gym, do not tell me to “work through the pain.” Trust me, you don’t understand the kind of pain I experience, or what causes it. If you want to disuss the subject, please take it up with my physical therapist. She’s small, blonde, and naturally friendly, but ferocious on the subject of “working through the pain” for someone with my particular limitations. Woe to even the largest, heavily muscled man who tries to contradict her.

Do not even broach the subject of my diet. I am eating fewer calories and more healthful foods than you are. Trust me on this. What I eat, how much I eat, and why I eat it, is between my doctor and me. Period.

45

What kinds of gyms do many of you go to? I’ve belonged to one gym or another even before I could drive. All my life it seems. I’m in there 5 days a week. Sometimes more. I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t get that I work out alone, quietly and intensely. Acquintences will come by, say hello and move on. Most will just wave. I’m in my space. I give out the vibe that I’m focused to the point of not even noticing the world around me. I rarely make eye contact unless I want to say hello to the person.

If somebody asks for help, I help. Once in a while a trainer I’ve gotten to know will come by and ask me to try something new for feedback. Otherwise I get left alone. So does everyone else I see on a regular basis, be they fat, thin and in between.

Also, just thought I’d mention… there is a “runner’s high”. If you don’t feel it, you’re not working hard or long enough to achieve it. Also, suffering is part of the process. I’m pretty damn fit and I suffer each and every time I’m out for a ride or run or swim or doing weights. If I’m not a little stiff and sore in the evening from my morning workout, I haven’t worked hard enough. That’s the most accurage guage I’ve found. Any exercise is better than none. But if you’re going to spend time in the gym, make it worth your while. It pays tremendous dividends.

46

I’ve been very tempted to thwack people with various pieces of gym equipment. It’s not really that I despise talking to people at the gym. However, working out is one of the few opportunities I have during the day to be quiet, let my mind drift and not have to talk to people. I enjoy working out - I like the stretch and pull of my muscles when I run, and I like feeling like superwoman when I lift weights. I’ll pass the time of day for a minute or so, but when people start getting into the nitty-gritty of their everyday lives or spouting advice at me, it’s irritating as hell.

For example:

To the man on the treadmill beside me who wants to tell me about his foot problems: I’m sorry that your toenail fungus makes working out so painful. Perhaps you should consider having someone look at it, and in the meantime, choose a workout that doesn’t require you to be on your feet. Maybe a recumbent bike or even swimming if your doctor permits.

And to the well-meaning woman who bellows, “Oh, my God! Put that 12-pound weight down! You might suffocate your baby!”, are you a doctor? Do you have some sort of scientific basis for such horror? No? Then please shut your mouth and stop yelling at me.

Oh, yeah, and to the woman who ejaculates “Whoo!” and “Baby, work it!” to herself as she dangles from her arms on the stairmaster or somehow manages to run on the damn thing while holding onto the bars and jack-knifing her body to a 90-degree angle: I know you’re not talking directly to me, but shut up and please, please, please stand up straight. You’re scaring the hell out of me with your shouting and you’re going to hurt yourself.

47

See there’s suffering (the aches and soreness of a good workout) and then there’s PAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN. I’m referring here to clicky noise, stabbing, shooting, fight-off-the-urge-to-cry-and-swear-vehemently pain. Being stiff and/or sore the next morning is acceptable - being unable to walk out to my car because I’ve blown a joint is not. (Before any well-meaning person makes me grind my teeth in pure exasperation, I’m aware that generally speaking joints don’t dislocate from a properly-warmed-up-before and properly performed workout. My personal knees aren’t normal - they have extensive damage from both arthritis and past major trauma. They’ve been known to blow out walking normally.)

And there’s a whole contingent of people who are firmly convinced that pain is a good thing. Those people can pucker right up and kiss my white ass. They can take their masochistic, self-righteous smirking and insert it into the orifice of their choice. Speaking as someone with chronic pain, pain isn’t a good thing. Pain is hideous, debilitating and nasty. If you feel the need to court pain, then do it on your own time. I really, really don’t need some perky pain-junky who has no idea what I mean by “pain” and thinks that “soreness” is the same thing telling me how excellent it is that I hurt. (Sorry - not directed at you personally Quick - experience talking).

I’m not saying that the runner’s high and workout-induced euphoria don’t exist - just that they’re not part of my experience. This is probably because the level of exertion required to reach that level causes enough pain in me that it overrides any euphoria I might feel. In any case, I get testy when people at various gyms imply that I’m defective for not having this as a part of my experience. I know I’m broken, thanks - I don’t need you rubbing it in.

QuickSilver I’m going to guess that a lot of the reason you don’t have the same problems is either you’ve been fortunate in your gym membership or you’re not a fat girl with impressively large boobs.

I made a chart one time (why, yes, I am occasionally impressively OCD) and realized that other people made my gym time a misery 4.2 times more often than a physical factor did. I realized I was coming home from the gym not only sweaty and hurting, but seriously annoyed by someone at the gym (frequently someone who was offering help in a fashion that was not only ignorant, but unsolicited and offensive). The next day I went shopping for a nice recumbent bike and some free weights to have at home. I still do the working out, but I don’t do it at a gym anymore. The downside is that I slack off on the working out more than I should, but the upside is that I don’t have to put up with the same nonsense I used to. My stress levels and blood pressure thank me.

48

After reading all of these posts, I have to wonder if most SDMB folks aren’t wearing a “Talk to Me” sign on their back (surreptitiously-placed, of course).

I’ve been working out seriously for about 5 years now, every other day, at a Bally’s. I can honestly say that (outside of a Personal Trainer situation) I can count the number of times I’ve seen someone interrupted mid-exercise can be counted on two hands (8 fingers, two thumbs). When trainers do it, it irritates me. If a random person interrupted me, I’d be incredulous, irritated, and rude in order.

This may seem counter-intuitive, but have any of you tried a gym with a more serious clientele? My Bally’s seems to be full of relatively dedicated folks, and the fact that many seem to speak Polish helps cut down the communication.

I’m sure I’m setting myself up for a good flaming, but isn’t some of this the martyr complex speaking? Are you looking for excuses not to like the gym? Believe me, I hated it for the first 6 months (2 weeks? Balderdash!) too.

Find someone you like, and work out with them. You will both benefit.

-Cem

49

I am in complete agreement with the OP.

I’m 36. I’ll be 37 in April. No, I can’t eat that bag of Doritos, go out drinking all night, gain no weight and be fresh and ready to go. Shit, aging SUCKS.

My boyfriend said to me when I was complaining about the gym (as I do) - get used to it, because you’ll have to do it for the rest of your life. OOOOOH, THAAAAAAAT’s encouraging.

And that “endorphin high” - I am sure that it works for some of you but for some of US, it’s batshit. I have never felt the high. And I have been on the exercise bike for 60 minutes at level 5 and not once did the “endorphins” kick in. It just sucks. And I am starting to really get annoyed with people who tell me it will make me feel better. It doesn’t.

I am there to help strengthen my core so my back won’t go out with the regularity of a cow needing to be milked. I take a Pilates class on Monday, followed immediately by a Yoga class - both instructors are aware of my issues so both try to help me with alternative poses or lessening or reaching deeper so I don’t hurt myself. The rest of the time, I treadmill, then stretch, then bike for sixty minutes because it’s less painful on my back.

Those fucking elliptical machines - they HURT. So no, I won’t do them. StairMaster - no, it HURTS, so I won’t do it. I have a few other muscle group workouts that I do, but they make me feel pitiful when the gym-rats do their 75lbs rep and I am at 25 and struggling. Oooh, look at your gloves - that means you’re really dedicated, doesn’t it? And watching me really helps my workout quality doesn’t it??

I wear my MP3 player. I asked my parents for one when I realized that working out was going to be the new dreaded fucking thing in my life. Now I play it really loud. So other people can hear I am listening to music. So if they speak to me, I can ignore them. And if they persist, I growl. I am sweating here, do you think I give a shit what you want? No, it’s never "how long will you be on that machine - I have a nice club and there are always enough machines, and I seem to hit those times when not so many folks are there.

I just want the twenty Asian women all out of the whirlpool so I could enjoy it once, too. Now, don’t get your panties in a twist - I have a high Asian content at my club - it’s a high settlement area. But they sit in the whirlpool for over 30 minutes at a time, speaking a language I don’t understand and half the time I am sure it’s just laughing at me as I lounge in my towel HOPING they’ll get out.

I generally give up.

I don’t like to work out. I will never like to work out. I skipped high school gym classes because I hated working out. So, no, it’s not decaf, it’s LOATHING.

But I’m there. And my Yoga instructor (whom I’m really enjoying) said that any positive thought would make the effort a little bit better. Like - I am here today. I got myself here to the gym. One positive thought can make a difference. She also taught me I carry a lot of tension in my jaw, which is true, because when annoyed I CLENCH…so I now deliberately relax while working out…harder than it sounds but I try.

Look, I’m trying. I just don’t want a conversation about it, unless I’ve asked you a question or you’re my instructor.

As an aside - for the person who said she had a problem with them looking at her tits - if it were me (but I am a more obnoxious person) I’d lift my shirt, scream “GET A GOOD LOOK SO YOU CAN LEAVE ME ALONE AFTER THIS!” and walk away.

Ink

50

I also work out at a Bally Fitness, and I think that’s part of my problem. Where I live, most Bally Fitnesses are either meat markets where the women put on makeup before working out and the beefcakes in the weight area let out “manly” shrieks and grunts as they lift weights too heavy for them, or they’re just plain social joints like a coffee shop, but with treadmills. I go there because of the convenient location (or rather, numerous convenient locations) and my membership rates, which are extra low (a great benefit after having been there for 7 years); however, I’m considering switch to a YMCA because the clientele there seem far more serious about working out.

Commercial gyms vary from gym to gym. Not all of them are serious workout places, while not all of them are meat markets.

51

Depends upon the temperature of the water. Your body needs to produce heat to maintain its temperature, and water is very good at carrying that heat away, unlike air. So the lower the temperature of the water, the more energy you have to use - the more calories you have to burn - to maintain your body heat. But if the water is too warm, there’s too little difference.

52

I think this is exactly what I was talking about…so…find a cool pool!

53

Hey OP, I’m fit. I’m thinish. I fit into the range of “normal acceptable sizes.”

I not only hate the gym (and refuse to go), when I have been dragged to a gym, kicking and screaming, I hate it when people talk to me as well. I particularly hate it when people hit on me. “Hey baby - lookin’ gooood” does not inspire me to do more exercise. It inspires me to take this weight in my hand and slam it into your face, you smarmy, creepy asshole.

I wonder why I’m single…

54

Fat chick with quite large boobies checking in (again).

First, there is a HUGE difference between PAIN and the general soreness that comes from a tough work out. If you are in PAIN, you need to get your ass off the tread mill and figure out a: what you are doing wrong b: what’s wrong with your body and c: how to adapt your workout to fit that problem. Never, ever, EVER should you be in PAIN.

I loathe running- I mean, I really, really hate running. When I run, my chest gets tight and breathing gets tougher, my stomach starts churning, my calves and thighs tighten up, even my damn tongue gets sore. All in all, running isn’t the most pleasurable experience for me, BUT I do realize the HUGE difference between PAIN and “Man, I fucking hate running and what it does to me. Totally not comfortable.”
If you have clicky noise, stabbing, shooting, fight-off-the-urge-to-cry-and-swear-vehemently pain, you need to change your work out and fast.

Secondly, what the hell does being a fat chick with a big rack have to do with anything? My boobs bounce on the treadmill more? Don’t worry about me, I’m not gunna put out an eye or anything… I hope! :eek:

55

Meh, I’m a fairly fit guy and I enjoy going to the gym a lot. I do not particularly enjoy people trying to strike up a conversation with me there. I’m there to work out, not socialize. Fortunately, during 2 years of Gold’s membership, I have not had anyone speak to me beyond:

  1. “Are you using this bench/the 10 pound plates/etc?”
  2. “How many sets do you have left?”
  3. “Mind if I work in?”
  4. “Can I get a spot?”

Of course, you get the general greeting from the front desk folk and the occasional “Excuse me” if someone accidentally bumps you or needs to get by or something, but that’s been pretty much my entire interaction with someone at the gym.

Thank God.

56

Don’t forget the person asking to use the little add-on plate for the Icarian machines. I’ve seen some people stack up 5-6 of those things. Why not add another plate?

57

I hate working out indoors and I hate people. Suffice it to say, the gym’s not some place I want to be. . .ever. Besides, not eating’s so much easier.

58

This is one of the reasons I like yoga–everyone is focused on what they’re doing and no one but the instructor talks.

For all of you that hate exercising, I hope you’ll keep trying new things until you find something you don’t dread. I had to try quite a few different things to figure out what I like to do (dance, hiking, and walking for cardio, yoga for strength, balance, and flexibility). I believe that there’s some form of enjoyable exercise out there for everyone–and it doesn’t necessarily have to happen in a gym or on a contraption of some sort.

59

This is complete bullshit.

Well, the second sentence is - I know damn well I’ve worked “hard enough and long enough” (as evidenced by heart rate monitors, feedback, and enough running to know when I am and am not pushing myself) that if I were capable of getting “runner’s high” I would have gotten it. I don’t. Never have. Highly doubt I ever will. My legs are working, my heart is working, my lungs are working - and it’s still miserable. Hours of miserable.

Perhaps you feel runner’s high. Good for you. But the assumption that because it happens to you it happens to everyone is flat out stupid.

60

It’s all about Craigslist, man. I found a old used exercise bike for $30 and dragged it home. No gym fees, nobody watching me while I work out, no feeling like I suck because I don’t work out as hard as all the skinny people. Fuck the gyms.