"The finance group is so quiet that..."

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m writing an article about our finance group, which is full of meek, quiet, introspective, highly intelligent number-crunchers. I would like to use the phrase, “The Finance Group is so quiet that…” but I don’t want to add those trite words, “…you could hear a pin drop.”

I’ve come up with these, so far, but I bet y’all Dopers could come up with better --[ul]
[li]…you can hear their individual heartbeats.[/li][li]…building management keeps advertising for new tenants for their space on the 14th floor.[/li][li]…several trainers, who share the 14th floor with them, have wondered whether they were going deaf. (Yeah, too wordy.)[/li][li]…they make <insert super-quiet cow-orker’s name here> look loud.[/li][li]…the training group, who shares their space on the 14th floor, have all been fitted for hearing aids.[/li][li]…you can hear the gears turning in their heads.[/li][/ul]Anyway, the funnier, the better.

:slight_smile: Thanks!

2

…you can hear the numbers being crunched?

3

I lke the hear the gears turning one.

How bout - The electric pencil sharpener moved to the training department.

4

You’ve been hanging around my department, haven’t you?!? By 4pm every day the place is quiet as a morgue.

I like the numbers crunching suggestion, myself.

5

Gazelle, I think we have a winner. It certainly beats the fart joke I was going to chime in with.

6

Thanks twicky twicky twicky! That’s the one I’ll use.

Janebabe, thanks for playing. I have a nice farting gift for you. I mean parting gift for you. :smiley:

**scout[/]ybobouty, it’s as quiet as outer space up there ALL the time.

Nursie, like deess?

The finance group is so quiet that when someone farted audibly, they thought it was the fire alarm and evacuated the floor.

7

Their so quiet you can hear a mouse’s fart echo.

:slight_smile:

8

Doncha just hate it when you screw up da code?

::grrrr::

9

. . . that I think we might have hired Dennis Kozlowski.

. . . that the boss must be dining with Warren Buffett.

. . . that I’m wondering if the assets equal the liabilities this week.

. . . that Corporate Audit must be planning a coup.

10

…That nothing was stirring, not even a mouse.

Actually, I like the numbers crunching line too.

11

…you can hear ink drying.

12

…the sound of a PDA is intrusive.

…people whose fingers are heavy on the calculator buttons are banished to the lobby.

…a mobile phone ringing caused several heart attacks last week.

13

Someone’s gonna put a cap in yo’ smug ass! Beeyatch!

14

A mouse’s fart doesn’t echo, and nobody knows why.

15

Well, since it’s the finance group, and the generally accepted line about quiet is “you can hear a pin drop,” it would seem to make sense that you could riff off that: “It’s so quiet, you can hear a penny drop.”

16

-you can hear the sound of someone breaking a sweat.

-the sound of breaking even is equivalent to that of a sonic boom.

-strict quiet must be kept because the ship is in the inner ear.

-even the elevator tiptoes past the fourteenth floor.

17

I like that one, but maybe a more pithy version would be:

You can hear exactly when we break even every day.

18

How about

You can hear the erasers.

Or

You can hear the T accounts creaking

Or

You can hear the plants screaming

Or

A trip to the vending machine is the highlight of their day.

Or

You can hear email arriving