If I programmed the food network I’d add a vegetarian/vegan show. Now I have been known to watch Alton Brown’s meat shows (beef jerky anyone?) but for everyone else, I have trouble bothering to watch a show when I can’t eat more than the side dishes.
I would like to see a mini-series entitled “In Search of the Perfect Onion Ring”.
Good Eats, Molto Mario, and Iron Chef. The Japanese one, dammit! Sometimes I need Ina Garten to laugh at. Yes, Ina, I really do use nothing but the BEST canned corn. It really makes a difference.
They need to can Iron Chef America and start showing the original again.
I love the Challenge shows where they have to build things – I guess physics really isn’t a big component of culinary school. 
The rest of the Challenge shows are pathetic.
They can give Rachael Ray to one of the women’s channels – or pay her more so she won’t have to make commercials that pop up on every channel. And I would still like to see at least one of Sandra Lee’s “friends” that she’s always talking about.
She has lots of “friends”. Most of them are 40% alcohol by volume too.
Can we also maybe ditch that guy who makes the improbable cakes? Sure, they look cool, but they also look about as edible as the plastic Meet the Robinsons decorations that were on my nephews birthday cake.
Oh, and give George Duran his Ham on the Street show back. I loved that show, he whipped up some interesting things and he has great charisma.
Eh, Ace of Cakes isn’t too bad. I wouldn’t eat the things they make (fondant, ew), but it’s interesting enough. Kind of like watching Miami Ink, or one of those bodyshop shows where they rebuild cars. Except the Ace of Cakes folks have more tattooes and piercings.
The improbable cakes I’d like to never see again: like this one (warning: Food Network has annoying popups). And all the rest of saggy Sandra Lee’s boozy concoctions.
BTW… Nigella’s actually better looking in person, I thought. My fiance and I went to a book signing last week, and got to meet her. She’s also fairly tall- I’d guess 5’9" or 5’10".
Back to the OP…
I’d probably dump all the Iron Chef stuff from the lineup, and any of the other competition shows.
I’d also dump most of the Rachael Ray and Bobby Flay stuff.
I’d probably have Emeril roasted over a slow fire or maybe deep fried while alive.
I’d definitely keep:
Good Eats (any Alton Brown stuff, really)
that Giada show
Unwrapped
Secret life of… (I like “how it’s made” type shows)
Any of Nigella’s shows.
Generally speaking, I like the shows that I learn something from, hopefully something useful in the kitchen. A lot of the Food Network’s stuff either involved techniques that are beyond me, or ingredients that aren’t readily available to me, so I’m not so interested in shows like Molto Mario or Emeril (even when he doesn’t annoy the crud out of me).
More “Throwdown,” dammit! More “Good Eats.” More “D, D & D.” Topless Rachel. Dump Nigella & Giatta. Give Alton more money and make “Feasting On Asphalt” a yearly thing. Throw more money at Robert Irvine and give him another show to go along with “Dinner: Impossible.” Dig up the kinescopes of “The Galloping Gourmet” and put them on instead of anything Deen.
You can never have too much Ray, Flay or Brown.
I used to think highly of you…and now…?
This is me, disappointed in the world. All because of you.
And Rachael Ray.
Sorry. But my tastebuds like her recipes, and my manly bits stir at the sound of her voice and the sight of her form.
I know. I need help.
I can understand the manly bits part…but the rest?
Well, the stirring o’ the junk might be a more important ingredient than you think.
Still…no Giada? There’s lots of stirring with the manly bits! I dunno, I feel hurt and wounded.
I even feel a little weepy.
The sound of her voice? Her ten-pack-a-day, man’s voice? :eek:
Personally, I don’t care how much my manly bits are stirred, someone starts chirping about “stoups” and “sammies”, there’s gonna be violence. And not the good kind.
Yeah, I forgot about the “sammies”. Fortunately, I think silenus has something to stuff in her mouth to shut her up.
Well, he won’t be doing that if he’s turned on by her man’s voice. But I probably don’t want to know the details. No. Actually, I definitely don’t.
Hey, I like her voice. Husky, but still feminine. And I definitely have something to fill it with.
Good thing she’s got a big mouth!
Giada just bugs me somehow. Don’t know why.
I believe that.
I watched the cake show once. One of the cake artists had a horrible cold; she proceeded to sneeze and snot all over her hands, then went right back to decorating the cake…no gloves, no hand washing. Shut 'em down already!
Do you also have an aversion to bobbleheads?
So, no one here wants to see more of Heston Blumenthal then? 
That . . . that . . . it is an atrocity beyond comprehension. It probably tastes the same coming back up as it does going down - and I have little doubt it would cause instant reverse peristalsis. Store bought vanilla icing mixed with cocoa, teamed up with canned apple pie filling and Corn Nuts? 
:eek:
You can just go to his Food Network site and see the recipe collection there for free.
You can also do a general recipe search that will bring up more Good Eats recipes too, like his Moo-less Chocolate Pie, which sounds weird but is actually divine.