I’m not an Emeril guy. I think he’s OK away from the studio but I can’t watch him with a live audience.
I can’t say I care for ‘Barefoot Contessa’. Can’t really say why, I just don’t.
But I save my loathing for Paula Deen. Can’t stand her show. Annoyed by her delivery. Really hate her ‘feild trips’. Refuse to watch her new show. Can’t forgive her for unleashing the ‘Spawn of Deen’ on the viewing public (The ads for ‘Road Tasted’ seemed to consist of the Deen Boys driving around and laughing a lot–can anyone tell me if this was worth anything? I refuse to find out on my own).
I can’t stand Rachael Ray. Or Giada Giant Head. Or the guy who starts every sentence with “And…” Or “I throw food cause I’m awesome” Flay. Or really anyone but Alton Brown.
They really find the most annoying folks possible on that network.
I can’t stand Paula Deen or her husband, pisswhiskers. I happened to catch her making meatloaf the other day. She was mixing it with her hands and didn’t take off her rings.
I don’t get the Paula Deen hate. Her show is like “food porn” and her boys are hot.
I hate Rachel “Muthaf**king” Ray and I usually participate in any of her threads to say so. It’s well documented hate, so I won’t reiterate in this thread.
Also high on the hateometer, but not as bad: Giada “Bobblehead” DeLaurentis, Bobby “Egomaniac” Flay, Barefoot “Pompous Bitch” Contessa, Emeril “Lowest Common Denominator Panderer” Lagasse, Sandra “Why do I match my outfit with my decor” Lee.
I don’t hate any of the others, but the only people I enjoy are Paula “I love Buttuh” Deen and our beloved Alton “Anal Food Scientist” Brown.
I don’t get the Paula Deen hatred either, but I do admit that I cannot stand how she manages to pronounce the word “oil” with only one syllable. I don’t even know how to write it phonetically. Emeril live is such a shame, because I remember seeing him on “Essence” many years ago, and he was terrific, completely likable and very interested in sharing his enthusiasm with his viewers. Not like the clown he is now when he’s in front of an audience. Alton Brown used to be cool, and still is okay, but is slowly but surely sliding down into a state of unwatchability. Cut down on the “cutesy” stuff a bit, Alton. Mario Batali, on the other hand, is as watchable and enjoyable as ever. I guess he’s an easy choice to like, but his knowledge and good-nature never fail to come across on screen.
Sandra “Semi-Halfassed” Lee. The fact that she trudges on while a smart show like Molto Mario gets canceled shows you everything that’s wrong with the Food Network.
I dislike Paula Deen quite a lot. I can watch the show she does in her private kitchen because she’s not mugging for a live audience.
Rachel Ray never got me because she was always too much of a chatterbox. She does have some good recipes, though.
The guy with the armband doesn’t interest me. Ina Garten’s okay. Jim O’Connor is generally tolerable but sometimes gets too…I dunno. Smirky. Tyler Florence needs to go away too.
Least favorite - it will be tough to decide between Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee. It’s not that I’ll be singing the praises of many of the others, but we’re talking least favorite, not whom do I dislike.
Personally, I think Rachel is easier on the eyes, so Sandra gets cast off the network (as soon as I own it).
I forgot about Jim O’Connor. I can’t describe him any better than that…smirky. He mugs for the camera too much. He’s like the Unwrapped guy (why can’t I think of his name?).
And Tyler? He used to be cute until he started eating too much of his food and got all fat. I mean, what the hell happened there?
I hated the few episodes of her show that I watched, but what really got me was hearing about the "Kwanzaa Celebration Cake " she made. Way to not only make a disgusting cake, but to incorporate almost every black food stereotype into a cake. I’m surprised you didn’t throw in fried chicken and watermelon, Sandra. :smack: :rolleyes:
I don’t despise Rachael Ray, but I’m tired of her shows. Some of the stuff looks good, but most of it turns into some disgusting thing that emphasizes what I hate the most about American cooking. No, I don’t want ranch sauce or blue cheese incorporated into my meal. Please don’t ruin a meal by covering up the subtle flavors with the culinary equivalent of a sledgehammer to the face, damnit!
I don’t particularly like Bobby Flay, either, but I’m not sure whether it’s the “southwest = cilantro on everything” bit (yay, soapy food!) or that he’s a bit of a pompous jackass that bothers me more. He’s at least tolerable on Iron Chef.
I’m not a big fan of Emeril either. It’s purely because he’s so damned loud. He’s much more tolerable and good to watch on Essence of Emeril, as he doesn’t turn into the cooking equivalent of “the obnoxious drunk at the party” when there’s not an audience around.
These days, I mostly watch Iron Chef, Good Eats, and whatever happens to be on Food Network on Saturday mornings. I’m fairly tolerant of just about everyone else, though. Nobody really comes across as making nasty food consistently or being a total dipshit as much as Rachael, Sandra, Bobby, and Emeril.
Breaking up the cooktimes on his show with clips of him reading books (of Victorian poetry, I’m certain) while leaning against a stone wall which is presumably out in his yard, Michael “Napastyle” Chiarello takes the cake for me. What a pretentious asshole. He’s like Bourdain only boring, vaguely straightedge, not funny, and profoundly closeted. I experience physical pain when I watch Easy Entertaining, none more exquisite than the finale of every show, where people pretend to have fun at whatever crappy little party is the result of his work. Ahaha, ha. Oh my, what a card you are, Napastyle. Ha.
His retarded casino night episode is a particularly vile form of torture. Seeing him chewing on an unlit cigar in a 50’s-style poker dealer hat, trying to look like a hardcore Vegas backroomer, is an image which haunts me to this very day.
(Close second is the android-like Marc “I Stare into the Camera a Second Too Long” Summers, host of Unwrapped. His bravado is that of a man knowing how deeply wrong he is, but unable to stop himself. His manner is that of a creep offering free candy next to a beat-up van in a Sears parking lot. Something evil lurks inside him, I am sure of this.)
A month or so ago I linked an Anthony Bourdain column ranting about Food Network personalities. He reserved the bulk of his rancor for Sandra Lee, describing her as an unholy creature who must be stopped, or some such. Unfortunately, I can’t find the link now; it was hilarious.
On his TV show, he also takes occasional (and extremely amusing) potshots at Rocco “Five Minute Meals!” DiSpirito.
Last week or so, I saw a promo for her show where she was sticking her tongue into a chocolate fountain. Double-dipping is bad enough, but she
PUT
HER
MOUTH
INTO
THE
FOOD.
What does she do for an encore? French-kiss a chicken? Wipe her ass with a loaf of bread?
I’m not keen on the down-homey Southern schtick, (I don’t care if that really is how she talks, or, like Larry the Cable Guy, it’s all an act) but doing something to willfully contaminate communal food is beyond the pale.
