The four axes of food

Cafe Society
1

I propose that all dishes and prepared/raw food items can be rated on four axes: healthiness, tastiness, quickness/ease of preparation (abbreviated to ‘speed’), and cheapness (on, roughly, a per calorie basis).

For example, most fast food rates highly on tastiness (to some degree, at least), speed, and (especially) cheapness, but very poorly on healthiness. And on the other hand, a gourmet prepared meal might get the highest rating possible on tastiness, a decent rating on healthiness, but low ratings on speed and cheapness. And further, quality fresh fruit probably rates highly on health, tastiness (if you like fruit), and speed, but low on cheapness.

I hypothesize that no single food item on earth (!) rates highly in all four categories (H, T, S, and C). We might rate various foods on a five point scale, recognizing that tastes can vary, to test this:

Taco Bell: H=1, T=3, S=4, C=5.
Great steak (Filet Mignon, Ribeye, etc.): H=2, T=5, S=3, C=1
Grandma’s stew (or equivalent home-cooked meal): H=3, T=4, S=1, C=3

What foods, if any, rate 3 or higher on all four categories? Do any foods rate 4 or 5 in all four categories?

These categories, of course, are not equal, but the weighting will depend on individual preference and circumstance – on a road trip, S and C are probably most important; for a dinner party or a candle-lite dinner, T (and maybe S) are most important; and for someone trying to improve their health, H is most important.

2

With cheapness, are you considering only the price or an overall consideration of the resources that went into attaining it? For example, produce you grew in your garden might only have a negligible price but it represents a lot more work by you then buying the same amount of produce in a store.

3

I can’t think of any such foods at the moment. Of course the answer will differ by culture (and time period); in the USA our palates have become educated to prefer very high fat/salt/sugar combinations. I’d speculate that people living here around 1790, for example, would be horrified by the taste of Cool Ranch Doritos and Snickers bars.

But I do like the idea of the axes. Hey, it could replace the Food Pyramid (or whatever it is they’re using nowadays…)

4

I’d consider both – so garden vegetables’ cheapness would rate higher than just the cost of the pot, soil, seed, etc.

5

Fuck Grapefruit

6

I thought I was the only one nerdy enough to do that. Except I used a 10 point scale. And I separated easy into a two part score of easy:time, to cover something like lazy-ass pulled pork* That is really easy, but takes hours of time.
*put pork butt in crock-pot, dump bottle of BBQ sauce, turn on.

7

I don’t think it’s my nerdiness, it’s just my obsession with food. I swear, if I’m not thinking about the other thing, I’m thinking about food. And then, 2% of the time, I’m thinking about the other million aspects of my life.

8

I don’t understand how lemons are easier than oranges, nor how oranges are harder than watermelons.

9

Where does wild fruit fit into this? Say you are in the woods or on a mountain and pick some berries to eat. I think that would rank high in all the categories. Since you most likely were hiking anyway it’s not that much effort to pick them.

10

Counterexample: Wild blackberries. They get the maximum possible score on both cost (free) and speed (zero preparation needed, just pick and put straight in mouth). You couldn’t live on them alone, but they’re high in antioxidants, for a decent health score, and they’re delicious.

They do, however, score low on availability, being available for only a few weeks per year.

EDIT: Ninjaed.

11

Wild fruit probably fits, as long as it wasn’t part of the reason for the expense of hiking! I wonder if there are any examples that are more widely available.

12

meat cleaver, deba bocho, bone cleavers, Chinese chef’s knife looks like one.

13

My husband observed something like this, when he first began to eat my cooking. He said that his mother’s cooking always rated high on cheapness and tastiness, and often on ease of preparation. Mine, on the other hand, managed to be middling-to-high on all points.

Of course, he was trying to charm me. He may have been overstating things. I don’t think he realized what I was paying for groceries, either.

14

Although not in line with most Western palates, insects are healthy, cheap and pretty easy to prepare. Once you get over the revulsion factor, a lot of insects are also surprisingly tasty, with the type of nutty or creamy flavors that are considered pleasant to eat.

Similarly, if you happen to live in a place with abundant seafood, a lot of shellfish is exceeding easy to acquire for minimal cost and effort and are also healthy, delicious and the easiest things in the world to prepare.

15

Liver and Onions. Rates Five in all four categories.

16

I’d give home-grown carrots a 4/4/5/5. Unless all the gardening factors into the ease of preparation.

17

Yeah, gardening goes into ease of preparation.

18

Carrots are really easy to grow, though. Put seeds in a ditch in the spring, forget about them for six months, pull carrots.

19

Unless they are stolen first by a wabbit, mole or Hobbit.

20

That’s not how I remember growing carrots as a kid. You had to weed them, which is a huge pain when they are small because their distinctive leaf shape doesn’t come in until the plant is about 3" high. Then you have to thin them. Keep weeding. Don’t forget watering (because we live in a desert and if you don’t water, you don’t get food.) More weeding. Then six weeks later you could start eating.

They are cheap, yes, but there’s a lot of child labor involved in the average vegetable garden. (at least the way my parents did it.)

Tomatoes are easy though. Just keep them watered and they pretty much ignore the weeds. The trick is to not plant seedlings.

My contribution to the thread: Roasted garlic mashed potatoes, skins on. Very easy to prepare. Exceptionally cheap if you roast the garlic yourself. healthy if you leave skins in (nice texture, but if it bothers you, just leave half.) and very, very tasty. Use buttermilk instead of plain milk when mashing and you can reduce the butter in the recipe and have about half the calories.