The Frugal Dopers "I'm broke but I have a plan" thread.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Okay, here it is…a thread for Dopers who are going through a rough spot financially, a place where we can plan and connive and toss around brilliant ideas as well as plenty of hugs and support.
Most of all, a place where we can come to remember that we aren’t alone during those times when we can’t afford to go visit the other people who are in the same financial boat we are. :slight_smile:

Post however and whatever you like; I’m just going to start with a little background, in case you all haven’t noticed me spewing all over the boards yet:
I’m typically frugal anyway–with four kids, I pretty much consider it a way of life. But this month is going to be tighter than usual, by a pretty heft chunk. (Details available in another thread, which I’ll have to find before I link to it.)

So, I have:
a. less money than usual
b. a divorce to deal with (haven’t seen my atty yet; got some good advice on saving money there so far)
c. bills bills bills
d. a full pantry.

It could be worse! I shop for bargains every time I hit the grocery, so I tend to have plenty of stuff on hand. I should be able to keep my groceries to under $40/week and can probably make only three trips to the store this month.
No eating out this month, and no Goodwill trips. I’ll put off the yardsale shopping, too.
I have several cases of candles that I can sell, and an order that I’m sitting on. However, I have to buy labels for that order, so I’ll have to budget the cash in for those if I want to deliver it this month.
I’m closing my small antique booth and will take most of my items to auction, along with a bunch of stuff I have here at home.
Ebay! How I love ebay. I have soap supplies to sell, with the added benefit of getting my dining room cleaned up a bit.
I really, really, REALLY need car seats for the babies. So if I can fit an extra $80 into my budget, I’m going to go ahead and buy them. It will make life much less stressful with the ex, as right now we have to switch the seats back and forth.

The really good news:
I’m bored and a little stressed, so I’ve been cleaning my House of Horrors.
Being broke is far, far preferable to my life a year ago, when my ex was still here and we were all miserable. My life, regardless of how frugal it must be, is so much better right now. I have never regretted my decision to end my marriage.
I’m still spending lots of time with the babies, and the older boys have kicked in with a lot of maturity and effort. Bless 'em.
And I have my SD friends, who have been such a great support to me over the last year or so.

Obviously, I’m something of an optimist. But I’m still feeling pretty anxious, and finding some folks to talk to about it all makes me feel better.

Okay, don’t let me sit here alone and fret…Any other broke Dopers out there? Let’s commiserate.

2

Although I can’t commiserate I wanted to chime in and tell you just how great your attitude is.

I hope everything works out for you, bodypoet.

3

I’ve been where you are now, and from my perspective it sounds like you’ve got a plan and are putting it into action. I don’t have any advice really, just lots of good wishes for you.

4

Thank you for the good wishes.
It’s lonely and a little scary sometimes, but I’m doing the best thing for myself and my kids. And frankly, I’m no worse off financially right now than I was when my ex was living here. At least now I don’t have to fight for grocery money.

The older boys are mature enough to understand and be willing to make the sacrifices needed for the change; the littles are too small to feel deprived.

Like I said, it could be worse…and I feel better hearing from my fellow Dopers.

5

Well, my husband is out of work, and we’re running out of money, and I’m Matron-of-Honouring at two weddings coming up soon, so we have some unavoidable expenses approaching. Thankfully, the plane tickets have already been paid for.

We’re back on a $30 a week food budget, and I’m going to skip shopping as much as possible, because we’ve got a freezer and shelves full of food. We don’t have a car and we’ve been walking everywhere.

I could sell some of my antique clothes on eBay, I guess, but I’d rather not, because I love them and they’ll steadily appreciate in value. No eating out, and no clothes shopping.

6

bodypoet, with that attitude you’ll never be truly poor.

Have you ever heard of Amy Dacyczyn’s The Tightwad gazette?

The Tightwad Gazette made a movement out of “joyous frugality”. It’s a proud movement, aiming to give people back their feeling of independence and the feeling there is “enough” and the best things in life are free.

The Tightwad-movement brings people together, who want to spend less money, either by neccesity or, quite often, by choice.

I know the Dutch branche of it and I like both their positivity and the practical advice.

7

We went through some really tight spots when I was a kid, but we kids never noticed it. Mom just treated being broke like it was normal. I though it was customary that you never eat meat on Monday. And had dried beans, rice and cornbread instead of meat whenever possible. Or that everyone’s mothers didn’t sew all their clothes. Never realized how poor we were until some nuns dropped off food one day.

You’ll get through this - and treat it as an adventure for the kids. My mom raised 4 kids (all semi-decent, well-rounded, responsible adults), and we did every menial job you could think of, as long as we could do it with here. I admire you.

8

I am raising 4 kids on a meager salary. My ex has not written, called or sent a child support check in over 6 years.

I can’t get a new job without better skills. I can’t afford to go back to school to get the experience I need.

But still I plug ahead because I have God in my life.

Sending good vibes your way from the south…

9

I’m a single mom of just one. We’re in the process of moving (one more week, yay!) and I have to be extremely mindful of every dollar. It’s to the point where I’m sacrificing meals to save money. (For me only, not my daughter. Besides, I need to lose weight anyway.)

If you were to see my bank account, it wouldn’t seem like things are so tight, but if I don’t curtail all but the most necessary spending today - then next month we will be way in the red. As it stands now, we’ll just make it through September. After that we’ll be okay, but just living paycheck to paycheck - which is incredibly nervewracking. I’m going out this weekend to try and find a pt job working third shift on fridays and saturdays so that I can rebuild my savings.

Sometimes I hate being a grownup and having to worry about these things.

10

I’ve been living on my own for 2 years. For those two years, I have never, ever missed a bill or bounced a check.
I came dangerously close this week.
I don’t work durng the summer for various reasons, not the least of which is that I couldn’t find a job. During the school year it’s not so bad because I get Work Study and I also working hte tutoring center. I bring enough money a month so that we can afford groceries, or to eat out if we wish, or random trips to Walmart. Due to the fact I haven’t worked in a month and at least 4 mistaken withdrawls totally 400 in the past six weeks, (including yesterday…takes a deep breath) we were down to 785. Rent is 800. Jaime just got paid yesterday.
I had to get a cash advance from the CC to cover us for the next two weeks. When he gets paid again, it will be more than enough to cover all our bills. As long as we’re very, very, vrey careful, we won’t be in the same situation in August.
We are getting deeper in CC debt, but in September I will start working boht jobs again. I also received enough scholarships and loans to completely pay my tuition with 10,000 left over. I decided to accept the 10,000 and pay off my credit cards as well as go to the dentist. (wee). So I’m hoping by the end of September I will be making at least an extra 300/mnth (ifnot 400) and my monthly bills will also drop by at least 100, for a net gain of 500.
So I jst have to get through the rest of the summer.
Since we don’t have kids, we can live off of tuna nd top ramen.
The only problem is that I planned on going to Tampa in two weeks, and the trip is pretty much paid already. Jaime is absolutely insistent I go because A)I’ve never been on a real trip, B) I’m meeting up with some of my best friends and C)I’m really excited about it. I feel guilty going, but it’s already paid for, and because I’m going to be spending most of my time at a convention, I will not be spending money.
If push comes to shove, I’ll hole up in my nice A/Ced room and read.

11

This may be a terrible thing to say, especially when we are all supposed to be supportive to each other, but I’m glad I don’t have kids yet. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to balance the money and longing to give the kids the best of everything. I’m very impressed by all of you who are managing it.

As for us, money is tight. My SO was out of work from Sept to May, and only got severence for 2.5 months, and forgot/hoped he wouldn’t have to apply for EI, so we got screwed there (he should have gotten 4 months of EI, worth about $1800, but we only got $700) Now he’s working again, but he took a $20K paycut, so our lifestyle has to totally change. And of course, we still have a lot of catching up to do for the time he was out of work. This month he’s offered to help his (much older, much wealthier) brother (the doctor) move, so we have a bunch of expenses that we weren’t planning on - it’s a looooong drive to TN from TO! The company I work for didn’t quite make it’s quotas, so I didn’t get the bonus I was counting on, and since D. isn’t actually at work today, we aren’t entirely sure if he’s even going to get a paycheck for this week (he should - between the extra hours he’s worked and the 2 weeks paid vacation that’s part of his benefits, he certainly deserves a paycheck).

On the plus side, the folks will help us out if it gets really ugly (and the guilt doesn’t get us first!) And, as mentioned above, most of the bills are paid up.

The big plan for us is to make the lifestyle changes stick. No more eating out, no hitting the bookstores, no more EBay, and just making do.

Luck to all!

12

Not to gloat, but Wife started her new job today and will be still part-timing at her other job. Since she’s been mostly unemployed since October '01 that will help.

In one of those “Isn’t that always what happens?” moments she drove over a screw on her way there so much of her first day’s wages will pay for a new tire.

13

I’ve been out of work for a month due to surgery, and at this present point Mr. Levins and I have absolutely nothing towards rent or bills. Nada. Zip. Zero.

However, I go back to work next week, and hopefully Mr. Levins will have a good weekend til then (we both bartend but it’s been very slow recently) and I’ve always had a policy that if I can’t fix it I’m not going to worry [sub]too much[/sub] about it. Constantly fixating on the fact that we have basically no money at the moment isn’t going to earn us any.

The only thing that’s really bothering me is that Mr. Levins’ birthday is on Tuesday, and he’s going to spend it

a.) taking me to the doctor for a final follow up early in the a.m., and then

b.) working all night.

And I don’t have a dime to celebrate his birthday. I know that probably shouldn’t be a bigger deal than the whole no-rent thing, but birthdays have always been a big deal in my family and they matter to me.

I may see about buying him a card and a balloon and taking it by his job that night; that couldn’t run more than five bucks, right?

My own birthday is on the 19th, and I wanted it to be a lot of fun b/c of all the surgery and downtime I’ve had recently–plus the fact that it’s my 25th–but :shrug: what can you do?

Who knows. We’ve been through worse, and we look back now and laugh at ourselves.

Hopefully we’ll be laughing soon. :slight_smile:

14

Audrey, if you have the time (and it sounds like you do) how about if you MAKE the card? I think he’ll like that better than anything.

15

Well, the SO and I have been living quite blissfully in our crappy little apartment for quite some time now. He’s been out of work for almost a year but just got a part time gig writing some programs for a local company. I’ve been doing better at my new job but am still digging out from marriage debts and the debts I acquired when I was struggling to get by from my previous job. It always seems that once you start getting ahead the fuel pump goes, or the oil bill comes in for an especially cold winter.

Right now we’re facing the possiblilty of being kicked out of our crappy (but real cheap) little apartment and having to pay lot more for another one. It’s really stressful for me having my home be so unstable, but we’re just trying to suck it up and carry on without letting the boys know how worried we are. Good luck to everyone–it’s nice to feel less alone.

16

I’ve gone back to work from maternity leave early to get some money in. Financially things are not in dire straights yet but if I don’t start making some payments on the car loan soon I may not have a car.

We are trying to catch public transport or walk as much as possible but Leechboys boss keeps rostering him to work in stores that are only accessible by car. Also the car really needs a service but I’m worried that it will be more than just a grease and oil change. Damn car costs a fortune but without it leechboy couldn’t get to work and that would not be good.

On the brightside a friend gave me her baby car seat so I can return the capsule we hired as my friends car seat is suitable from birth to 4 years.

Our real estate agent is doing a rental inspection Saturday week and bringing the owners of the house with him. So I’ve got to go to the hardware store and buy a few items to fix stuff around the house.

On the same day they come to visit it is my SIL’s hens party for which I need to purchase a gift. I’m thinking of going to the seconds stores to try and find something.

There is always something coming up that requires money we don’t have. But I have a loving husband and baby plus extended family that will always be there to help and all my friends so life is good.

17

I just thought of this reading Leechbabe’s post! Check with your local health department. Many governmental bodies will lend carseats or rent them real cheap. They really, really want you to use them so they make it easy for eveybody.

18

I own The Compleat Tightwad Gazette, and love it. We already eat a lot of beans, I bake most of our bread (it was all, but it’s a bit hot to bake right now if you’re living in a studio apartment) and live in the aforementioned cheap one-room apartment.

Our weaknesses are eating out and buying books, but we’re managing all right at not doing either right now. My Mom says she’ll help with August’s rent, which means even on my salary we should have enough for groceries and September’s rent.

I am going to have to ask the hordes of friends who come over and eat our food and drink our soda (Mr. Lissar has a Coke addiction of the cheaper kind. I’ve tried to break him of it, but it hasn’t worked) to bring food and pop when they come.

We’ll manage.

19

Bodypoet, I might be able to scare up a few carseats for you and find a way to get them out your way.
Anyone out there you can do a clothes swap with? I don’t remember if I have children the right gender or age but we could get that going as well.
Maybe we could get together a big doper heathens clothes exchange. I’m thinking postage might be a bit cheaper than going out and buying new wardrobes for them all. That and maybe pattern swapping or scrap material swapping for dopers with sewing machines. I think I have a few for shorts and sun dresses.
Let me know if any of this sounds good to anybody.
Now, off to bed for me and some much needed rest. I’ll keep thinking of other ideas.

20

Bodypoet, I might be able to scare up a few carseats for you and find a way to get them out your way.
Anyone out there you can do a clothes swap with? I don’t remember if I have children the right gender or age but we could get that going as well.
Maybe we could get together a big doper heathens clothes exchange. I’m thinking postage might be a bit cheaper than going out and buying new wardrobes for them all. That and maybe pattern swapping or scrap material swapping for dopers with sewing machines. I think I have a few for shorts and sun dresses.
Let me know if any of this sounds good to anybody.
Now, off to bed for me and some much needed rest. I’ll keep thinking of other ideas.