The funeral is not the place to publicly blame the mourners...

I couldn’t believe this when I read it.

It’s bad enough that a three year old boy was murdered. His sister (who was watching him at the library) may or may not have been negligent in her care. That’s not the issue I want to address here.

But the funeral is not the place to publicly shout to the grieving sister “It was your fault, too!” even if she was negligent. A funeral is a time for mourning and grieving. From the account in the article, it looks like she’s taking it quite hard as it is; and, human nature being what it is, is probably second-guessing herself anyway and taking blame upon herself for it, whether deserving of that blame or not. However, it’s not for some anonymous person to, at the time of her greatest grief, to throw salt on the wound and blame her for this tragedy publicly. To do so shows an utter lack of class, decency, common sense and morals.

I’m not advocating that the girl be exonerated if she’s to blame. Certainly, her actions need to be looked into to determine if she was negligent and to what degree so. But there is a time and a place for everything; but this was not the place to do it, this was not the time to do it, and the person who did it was not the proper person to do so.

Zev Steinhardt

Yeah…that’s…wow…it’s remarkably cruel and in bad taste at the very least.

This paragraph(from the article) bothers me:

The paper said a Middlesex County law enforcement source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the teacher released the boy early when he grew uncooperative with a lesson. Authorities said the teacher was allowed to discharge the boy early and was not required to take him home, The Star-Ledger reported.
Was the teacher not even required to call a parent or guardian to accompany him home? This is a 10 year old child, I can’t believe they would just allow him to walk out of school on his own.
There is a lot of negligence to go around in this case.

People can be astoundingly cruel at funerals. I’ve been amazed a few times at the depth of nastiness that some people display, and have never really understood it. (Seems to me that there would have to be a sociologist studying this phenomenon, but I’ve never come across it.)

I went to a Christian school. The principal fancied herself a preacher/ Woman of God. One afternoon she told us the story of a funeral she had just attended. Seems this man had comitted suicide. His weeping widow said to my principal at the service that she was sure God had prepared a special place for him. “Yes,” my principal said, “In hell! All people who kill themselves burn in hell.”

I was absolutely sickened when I heard this. I just can’t believe anyone could be so cruel.

I once attended the funeral of a 15 month old girl. The most unnerving part was the near fire and brimstone sermon the pastor delivered.

Actually, it’s pretty routine for people to show their butts at funerals, I’d say maybe 1 in 5 chance somebody will.

Lissa, BTW, what kind of Christian School did you go to, anyway? This is maybe the fifth time you’ve mentioned something about the place that was horrifying. What your Principal said was messed up(Although I’ve heard two Pastors say similar things at funerals, during the sermon. One practically said the guy was going to Hell because he had a drinking problem and didn’t love God.)

People of God need to show some sense, FCS.

My cousin was killed by her ex-husband, who then turned the gun on himself and took his own life. (Murder-suicides always happen in the wrong order, IMO). They left behind a 4 year old daughter.

At Marissa’s funeral, a few of David’s family were there. It would have been so easy for our family to ignore them, or begin a fued, but as it was pointed out in Marissa’s eulogy, there were 2 families grieving that day.

What David had done was abhorrent, but a child we love had lost her mommy and daddy in an emotional instant. Her family had lost children of their own, and it is simply not the place to cast blame. There was enough suffering that day, and no one there could have known that he would have resorted to such desperate measures, or likely done anything to prevent it.

Blaming a 18-year-old girl for her own brother’s death at a funeral. Classy. :rolleyes: The girl was almost hysterical with grief as it was.

Does anyone know who this asshat is? I have a hard time imagining what sort of mindset justifies this sort of behavior.

Sorry about the temporary hijack, ** zev. **

The school I went to was privately owned. It touted that it was non-denominational, but was overwhelmingly Baptist in nature. About sixty kids of all ages attended. (There were four in my graduating class.)

Honestly, I could write a book as long as * War and Peace * about what was wrong with that place, but the worst part was that they flat-out lied about their qualifications. I was told that I’d have no problems getting into college–that colleges loved their students because of their “excellent education.” I found out differently when I applied to our local branch campus. The woman literally laughed at me, saying I’d have to get a GED, and that I was technically an eighth-grade drop-out according to our state. (Also, I found out that no graduate of the school had ever gone on to college, other than a Bible one. The most successful graduate was an assistant manager at McDonalds.)

The science was out-right comical. Literature, except for Christian books such as “In His Steps” was non-existant, and I was never introduced to algebra. (Our computer texts were written back when computers still had data tapes, and had to be plugged into a television.) We did not take any state mandated tests. Were I not a voracious reader, I would be an ignoramus of the highest caliber. (I would, however, be able to quote lenghty sections of the Bible, which we were required to memorize. I still know Matthew 7 by heart.)

The school was populated with the meanest, most bigotted people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. The teachers were bad, but some of the parents were even worse. The parents’ sole recreation in life was to spy on other people’s children and report on their “sinful” behavior. (You could be expelled if caught doing any forbidden behavior, such as dancing, even after school hours.) They would have lengthy meetings (which we kids secretly called the Casting Stones Hour) at the school in which everyone accused everyone else’s kid of being an evil influence. (I never needed to watch * The Crucible. * I lived in it.)

I spent five long years in that pit. Do I sound bitter? I am.

Lissa: PLEASE tell me that place no longer exists! (On the other hand, if it does, you could have some serious revenge/fun by calling the media and relating your no-college story)

Amen, brother.

I can believe it, unfortunately, and yes, it’s pretty sickening. Having known someone who committed suicide, I’m just glad he didn’t say that in my presence. And to say that to the man’s widow…a grasp of the concept of Christian compassion had obviously not been a job requirement at this Christian school. Yeeps.

Nope. It’s doing well. There’s a lot of business for it in my town. (about my town: our phone book has six pages of churches and 90% of them are competing Baptist denominations. There is only one page of bars, and no dance clubs.) About the media: no one would care. A great deal of the parents at my school only wanted their kids to attend Bible college anyway. “Secular” colleges have drugs and sex.