Non sequiturs crack my shit up. Or simply things that shift focus rapidly, seemingly out of order, even if it has something to do with the matter at hand.
“Diane, I’m holding in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies.”
Also, things that shouldn’t be thought about for too long, being thought about for too long. That Viagra commercial where all the dudes are together jamming in an otherwise empty bar? Who’s idea was that? No, no, not the ad execs, I mean, if these were real people, why would they do this? Who was the initiator? Who said, “Hey guys, we all love Viagra so much, let’s jam! And instead of Viva Las Vegas, let’s sing VIVA VIAGRA! Wouldn’t that be the ultimate in sweet?” AND THEY ALL AGREED! That is beyond priceless.
And those commercials for adult diapers? Where they show them living life, doing normal(ish) things, showing you can still have fun while wearing Depends? My mother pointed this one out: while they are dancing, that lady is peeing herself.
I also like it when someone majorly stumbles or flubs a common saying, or word, and doubly so if they are using it in all seriousness. I laugh at myself, too; I’m certainly not innocent of muddling things. I’ve posted some of them here, but an ex-buddy of mine used to come out with some doozies: Rigor mortis instead of rigamarole (paraphrased: “My dog has to go through the whole rigor mortis before she settles down in the backseat”), “never lick a gift horse in the mouth”, German warfare instead of germ warfare, etc.
Also, Student Bloopers, Newspaper Headlines, and Real Insurance Claims leave me gasping for breath.