This thread is inspired by threads listing real products with rather horrible names.
Let’s play a game where you invent a product with a genuinely innocent name… but one that can have a double meaning.
For example:
I own a candy company. I wanted it to be homey and old style, so I named it Grampa Vernon’s Olde Fashioned Candy. Our number one product is a muslin drawstring bag filled with toffee covered mixed nuts.
The product’s name is:
Grampa Vernon’s Nut Sack.
My ads feature people shouting “I love to eat Grampa Vernon’s Nut Sack”
C’mon dopers, what horrible product names can you come up with?
I used to have to give directions, which included “make a right a Tucker Federal Bank”. Never a day went by that it didn’t get ugly by late afternoon. But the callers always had a great sense of humor!
Well, how about a sound-activated electrical switch system called the Clap. (It would, of course, be the Clapper’s main rival). It would operate from a little box thing attached to the appliance in question (forgive my electrical ignorance).
Some customer testimonials:
“I have the Clap, and it makes it much easier to turn on the lights when I have to get up at night to use the bathroom!”
“My husband gave me the Clap for Christmas - I can’t imagine how I lived without it!”
“I recently got divorced, and you might be surprised that we never fought over valuables and pets - we had the most trouble deciding who got the Clap!”
Isn’t there a hair removal product from Australia or something called “Nads”? I think I saw like a thirty minute infomercial on that once and never stopped laughing.
Oh wait I just remembered another one, except this is an unfortunate URL address… Time Out New York, a weekly magazine here, just brought our attention to the Powergen corporation, based in Italy. Hence, their website is www.powergenitalia.com.
The italian power generating company story is false according to snopes.
I remember the hair removal ‘Nads’ commercials here in the states, as well as the diet suppressant called ‘Ayds’ which was discontinued for obvious reasons