The game of unfortunate product names

This thread is inspired by threads listing real products with rather horrible names.

Let’s play a game where you invent a product with a genuinely innocent name… but one that can have a double meaning.

For example:

I own a candy company. I wanted it to be homey and old style, so I named it Grampa Vernon’s Olde Fashioned Candy. Our number one product is a muslin drawstring bag filled with toffee covered mixed nuts.

The product’s name is:

Grampa Vernon’s Nut Sack.

My ads feature people shouting “I love to eat Grampa Vernon’s Nut Sack”

C’mon dopers, what horrible product names can you come up with?

A real one is PMS Lasers. Whatever marketing genius came up with that one should be begging on a street corner about now.

Well, On NPR’s Delicious Dish, they discussed the Schwete weiner and the Schwete balls. :wink:

There are plenty of restaurants named “Mother Tucker’s” floating around. I don’t think it’s a chain.

Let’s not forget the unfortunate Chinese names; “Hung Long,” “Wang Dong,” and so on.

What about an insect exhibit at the zoo called “The Buggery?”

I used to have to give directions, which included “make a right a Tucker Federal Bank”. Never a day went by that it didn’t get ugly by late afternoon. But the callers always had a great sense of humor!

There’s a real couple of chicken take-out places called Cluck University. AKA Cluck-U.

Whooshed me.
Is this some sort of mid-west humor I don’t get?

B&M Baked Beans

The English have Spotted Dick.

No, southern humor you don’t get. I still mispronounce it as Fucker Tedral

Since this has deviated from products to signage, I’ll link to a picture of my favorite Chinese restaurant in the Bronx:

Fook King

That was a send-up on Saturday Night Live, actually.

There used to be a Czechoslovakian car called the Skoda, and unfortunate name for a truly ugly vehicle. We all referred to it as the Scrota.

aw! We’ve had threads about real products before.
I want to hear outrageous suggestions (like the B&M beans one)!

B&M is a real product, available at least in New England. It gets worse: Their Web site is http://www.bmbeans.com/.

What the hell were they thinking?

Well, how about a sound-activated electrical switch system called the Clap. (It would, of course, be the Clapper’s main rival). It would operate from a little box thing attached to the appliance in question (forgive my electrical ignorance).

Some customer testimonials:
“I have the Clap, and it makes it much easier to turn on the lights when I have to get up at night to use the bathroom!”

“My husband gave me the Clap for Christmas - I can’t imagine how I lived without it!”

“I recently got divorced, and you might be surprised that we never fought over valuables and pets - we had the most trouble deciding who got the Clap!”

I love it Kn*ckers!

Isn’t there a hair removal product from Australia or something called “Nads”? I think I saw like a thirty minute infomercial on that once and never stopped laughing.

Oh wait I just remembered another one, except this is an unfortunate URL address… Time Out New York, a weekly magazine here, just brought our attention to the Powergen corporation, based in Italy. Hence, their website is www.powergenitalia.com.

HA!

The italian power generating company story is false according to snopes.

I remember the hair removal ‘Nads’ commercials here in the states, as well as the diet suppressant called ‘Ayds’ which was discontinued for obvious reasons

I saw an ad for ‘Nads’ in the June issue of Esquire.

The chiropractor’s secretary couldn’t understand my burst of laughter from the waiting room.

From Snopes on Powergenitalia:

So it is a real company, just not a division of a company from the UK.

I can’t believe no one has mentioned Mr. Brain’s Faggots yet.