The Goldfish That Will Not Die

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Many years ago, our daughter MilliCal wanted a pet of her own. we already had a houseful of cats, and didn’t want to get another, so we got an aquarium with tropical fish. We went through many fish, which rapidly died off. But at one point we stocked the tank with goldfish, each of which cost $0.19 apiece. In time, they all died off.
Except Chad.

Chad was the Goldfish That Wouldn’t Die. All the other goldfish bought the farm. The snails cleaning the tank died. Even the catfish cleaning the tank died.
But not Chad.

Chad had truly found his medium, and flourished. And continued to grow.
Chad is now over seven years old, and is the biggest goldfish I have seen, outside of the ponds in Chinese restaurants. He shows no signs of getting ready to die.
Which, in a way, is too bad. MilliCal now wants the real estate he occupies back, so she can put a desk and a computer there. There really isn’t anyplace good to put the tank, and I’d like to simply get rid of it, or store it. But Chad is in there.

Our newest cat, Hermes, has taken a great interest in Chad. He keeps trying schemes to get at him – the only cat that has invested any time or thought in Chad. But I don’t think he’s going to succeed without collusion from the humans, and we’re not about to help him in this.

2

Years ago I had a tropical fish tank. I was really enthused when I got it, but after some time, I got a little bored with it. Then I had to move. My new place just had absolutely zero room. And even contemplating moving the tank was giving me a major stress headache. I decided to let the fish die off and I’d just let the tank become my last landlord’s problem.

Enter Zippy the Immortal Fish.

3

See if you can donate him to someone with a pond? He would probably be very happy.

4

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much of an improvement do you think it would add to its lifestyle?

5

Have you tried talking to Chad about the general unfairness and futility of life? Perhaps he could be persuaded to take matters into his own … well, flippers, I guess.

6

My sister decided to get goldfish for her sons several years ago, believing it would be a temporary pet.

Not only were hers longer lived than expected, hers BRED.

She was forced to commit fishy murder when the boys were out to reclaim the space.

7

Take Chad to your nearest Chinese Buffet and offer him to the owners.

…for their koi tank, not for the buffet! Ew!

8

Seconding this. My Nana has always had a goldfish pond. I’d love to have one but they are a ton of work.

9

Truman our gold fish is still going strong. We had a sitter about 4 years ago and when we came home, she and our daughter were all excited about these three gold fish they had purchased. Great, but then I remembered that they were all gold fish. How long could the last?

Sure enough two of them were dead within a week. But not Truman (the smallest of the three). He survived (I think he killed the other two) and is still going strong, getting bigger and bigger every day. Outgrown two tanks, even the one exploding! Now that was a fun experience, just a cheap bowl that we got at the dollar store. One day I came home and mentioned to my wife what is all this water on the counter? Then I realized that it was dripping from his tank, and I swear I just lightly touched the tank. BOOM!! Do you recall that scene from 4th of July where the ray explodes everything–that is what happened to his tank. It exploded! I think it was under tension and my light touch broke the tension and water, gravel and Truman went everywhere. We found Truman flopping around in the sink, put him in a glass of water and got a new tank, and he is none worse for the adventure.

So we anticipate that Truman will be around with us for a long time. Actually have even grown a little fond of him. I mean how many of us can survive our home exploding. He deserves to live for that alone.

10

I had one of these. Uncle Arthur survived years of neglect, starvation, disease, sludgy water, and even an accidental scalding. He finally succumbed when I left him under my mom’s care for a week.

11

Oh god, please, not another Chad hanging.

12

My grandparents had such a fish. Oscar lived years and years and years. He grew fat and happy while other fish sadly passed away within months.

My nanny loved that fish.

13

My family had a goldfish, Fred, who I won at a kindergarten fair ball-tossing game (after my mother had expressly told me not to play that game under any circumstances, as she didn’t want me coming home with any darn fish). I played the game. I won the fish. My beleaguered parents bought a bowl, a net, and some fish food, along with a couple other weedy-looking fish to serve as Fred’s friends.

Fred’s friends died. Fred lived. He thrived. Eventually he got so huge we had to get a different bowl for him. We didn’t exactly dote on Fred–a water change once a week and fish flakes twice a day seemed to suffice. Fred had nothing in his bowl besides water. But he was as smart as goldfish seem to be–when we came home, he’d start swimming around eagerly. At mealtimes, he’d bob up near the surface, begging to be fed.

Fred even came on vacations with us. We’d put him in his first, smaller bowl, cover it with Saran Wrap, and punch some holes in it for air. The bowl went into a bigger bucket, surrounded by rags for stability purposes. When we got to our destination, Fred camped out on the desk or a table in the motel room, enjoying his change of scenery. Many a long, long car ride was enlivened for me, an only child, by sitting in the back seat talking to Fred.

Fred even came camping with us. Same routine as above, only when we got to the campsite, Fred would sit on a picnic table or a likely-looking rock while we pitched the tent. (In this case, the Saran Wrap stayed on top with its air holes, lest a critter eat Fred for lunch.) He seemed to enjoy it, and he seemed to enjoy the few insects that made their way into his bowl.

Fred died at the advanced age of eleven years old by committing suicide on Thanksgiving morning. The house was awakened by my mom’s frantic shrieks, as she had been the one to discover poor Fred, flopping about on the tile floor. She quickly popped him back into the water, but the damage was done. Fred was half paralyzed and only able to use the fins on his left side. He bobbed sadly around in the bowl for another few hours, ignoring food or attention, before finally going to that Great Fishbowl In the Sky. As the kid in the family, I was conscripted into burying Fred in the backyard beside a big rock. I marked it with a little cross that was eventually knocked down by my dad’s lawn mower, and now Fred remains only in our hearts and as an orangey blur in the few pictures taken in the kitchen, where his bowl lived.

I miss Fred. The fish I and my roommates had in my first year of university didn’t quite measure up, given that they died after one particularly raucous party when our guests discovered that fish do not eat Oreos. At least, not well.

14

My goldfish’s name is Ten, short for Tenacious. Four years ago I had a beloved pair of goldfish, Fish and Other Fish, and agreed to take in my mom’s last remaining goldfish (soon to be named Typh) and a chinese alge eater after they’d been quarintined for weeks. Within a month Fish and Other Fish died :frowning: And the alge eater disappeared. Mom felt bad, so she bought me two baby goldfish. They died too. Then, a couple of months later, she bought another baby goldfish - Ten. Amazingly, he didn’t die.

Here it is four years later, and Typh is long gone too now, but Ten is fat and happy. I’d like to have a tank of neons, but I’m going to wait for Ten to pass on his own, not commit fishicide.

15

Wow, and my goldfish only lasted six days…

…but that was after being X-rayed and flown from Kansas to New Jersey in a tupperware container. So I think I get some points.

16

Goldfish regularly live 20 years. Into the 30s is not unusual. When I worked in a pet store that had been in the same family for over 70 years, they talked about a goldfish that had lived in the store for 44 years.

17

Wiki says they can live to be 20 or older, but most pet goldfish live 6-8 years.

18

Actually it says:

That “six to eight years” should tell you more about the abysmal conditions most pet goldfish live in than about their expected longevity.

19

So why do they give out goldfish in those little bowls? If I’d known how to optimally take care of a goldfish, maybe my fish would have lived longer than a week.

20

Same reason they sell Bettas in cups, they only care about making money. My betta lives in a 35 gallon tank with a couple other fish. My Nana’s goldfish live for years and years out in the pond.