I have, in one short week, acquired a collection of loonies and toonies that you would not believe. I have, on numerous occasions, on being told “$1.36”, or, perhaps “$3.87”, reached into my pocket and handed the cashier a bill plus 36 (or, perhaps, 87) cents in order to reduce the amount of change in my pocket. This strategy is, to put it mildly, failing beyond my wildest dreams.
I have progressed far beyond the “got a little money in my pocket, going jing-a-ling-a-ling” stage; I am at the stage where streetwalkers are considering paying me. Were I to cash in the contents of my right pants pocket, Sudbury would think no more of nickel even if it wasn’t Saturday night. If the seams on the pocket fail, the Citizen will print an extra, “Money Spills On Street; Police Attempt To Track Armored Car”.
Someday, I will begin to recognize these items as coins, valid for commercial and personal monetary transactions. Until then, Ottawans who are being followed by a step-scrape-step-scrape-step-scrape sort of movement should not be concerned - it’s only me.