The Great DC Book Giveaway--Friday?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Every once in a while, a man’s life loses its outboard engines, takes shrapnel in the hydraulics, develops a fuel leak and drops its flaps at altitude. One is left with his own ass, what he can keep in his pockets and, hopefully, a parachute.

Such is my situation; I am compelled to vacate the Den of Iniquity for less comfortable lodgings. Space has become a consideration, and with that lack of space comes utter confusion and difficult choices.

Tonight I packed away the trusty working library in milk crates and stacked it… in two columns each six crates high. And those are just the ones that aren’t littering the place like the roaches I hope to hell I don’t have.

Like a budget-hawk going through NASA’s request, I began slashing. Death to Tom Clancy! Patterson is a hack! Turtledove can’t sketch a character with a crayon! But it was not enough…

Death to all fiction! Goodbye Steinbeck, see ya Doyle, catch ya on the Internet, Shake. And the self-helpers, too! Organize my life in twelve easy steps? Fuck that, I’m starting by tossing the damned book! And these questionable works of history–the 12,342nd Regiment of SLURPEES in the jungles of Costa Rica? Gone! Textbooks? Well, I never could understand that analytical chemistry anyway. Maybe it should go as well.

These books are in damnable condition. A vast majority of them are coverless bookstore paperbacks rescued from an ignominious dumpster doom. The good ones are pawed, torn, dog-eared and water damaged.

And I can’t let them die.

I have to be out of this place by the end of the week. I can’t spare even the crates to put 'em in–they shall be my furniture in my new Walk-in Closet of Iniquity.

Here is what I propose. By Friday evening of this week I’m getting the hell out of here. The place will be vacant and clean with the exception of a couple of hundred once-cherished books a case of Miller High-Life, and maybe some other worthwhile junk. If I’m lucky, I can have a rudimentary list of stuff by tomorrow.

If I can garner some interest among you, the People of the Straight Dope, you’re welcome to come and choose amongst them. As an added bonus, you’ll also get a free resume, seeing as I’m unemployed on that date as well. BYOB(ooze and boxes).

The Den is also up for rent, and I haven’t found anyone yet to take over my lease, so if you’re interested in a bitchin’ location five minutes on foot from the Rosslyn Metro for a way-too-high rent, you can come check that out, too.

It ain’t much of a party, but I’ll keep the hours flexible if anyone is interested on such short notice. Please let me know, otherwise Walter Mosley gets ventilated.

2

Would you take visitors after work on Thursday? The wife and I don’t work on Friday this week, and it’ll be a lot easier convincing her to drive to Rosslyn from Suitland than from the shores of the Chesapeake Bay.*
*[sub]But not where National Beer is brewed.[/sub]

3

Well sure, RT. Heck, if you think you can take all of them, they’re yours. Right now the stacks are not huge; I caculate about nine cubic feet. But then again I’m really bad at math. It’s not much larger a cube than that of a big television box.

4

How much is the rent? Stangely enough, I like Rosslyn.

5

I’m sure I can’t take them all, but my wife and I - voracious readers both - will raid your collection, and take everything that looks good. I expect we’ll still leave enough to make it worth the while of those that come on Friday, but we’ll do our best to get your book giveaway off to a good start. Check your email.

6

Oooh, books! I like books.

Depending on what you do, I might also be able to bring you a couple of job postings from a relatively good paying industry.

7

Sorry to hear you’re having travails, Sofa King. I could come over Thursday at the same as Mr and Mrs. RTFirefly, or Friday–whichever is more convenient.

Books!

8

Hey, all right, Aguecheek! I haven’t even had time to finish my resume. Perhaps today…

dunne, my rent right now is $950/month, and is virtually guaranteed to go up by $50-$100. My landlord accidentally left behind some notes the other day with “$1050” suspiciously scrawled all over it.

It’s not worth that much, except for its somewhat stunning location and the fact that it actually faces a thin stand of trees which is home to all kinds of interesting birds–cardinals, jays, and wild parakeets among others. A few months ago an owl checked in briefly. It’s hot in the summer and, owing I think to an elderly couple on the floor below me, hellishly hot in winter. The temperature rarely drops below 75 with all the windows open. Then again, I like it like that, so I never fiddled with the old-style radiators. Most of the building’s charm comes from the fact that it appears to be designed to serve Fort Myer, ca. 1943 or so. It’s the last vestige of ghetto in Rosslyn.

Hey, I’m not gonna do someone wrong by not telling it like it is. As I said, its location is amazing and compared to its immediate neighbors, it’s astonishingly cheap.

9

oooh!!! I’m there. What time will you start accepting visitors?

10

Wow! This is awesome!

Okay, I’ll consider moving things up to Thursday, but the place will not be in anything like good condition. I won’t be out of the office until after seven, but traffic considerations being what they are you probably wouldn’t want to tangle with the traffic, anyway.

I’ll start putting together phone numbers, maps, and directions tonight.

11

All right, I’m throwing some junk into the mix. I am also offering:

[list][li] A set of Dynastar Fusions, those funky old skis which act differently when you change feet, 185s. Bindings set to a ten-inch male foot, if I remember rightly. Getting these things properly sharpened may be a problem. Comes with an L.L. Bean ski bag. You gotta take the skis if you want the bag.[/li]
[li] A color television, not much bigger than eleven inches. Emerson.[/li]
[li] A boom box. Not the nice boom box you may find working when you arrive, but another top-loading Sharp which appears to need a lens-cleaning.[/li]
[li] Computer junk, especially worthless old VGA cards. Somewhere I think I have a Viper V550 AGP, but I can’t guarantee that.[/li]
The book-stack has grown, and as an added bonus, I’m tossing in my copy of Crime and Punishment, which I have been “reading” for close to a decade and have not got past page 9. I quit.

I’m busting my ass right now trying to make this place presentable, and it looks like I have a sleepless night in store. Most of you appear to be ready to drop by tomorrow so I will move things up to then. I’ll try to have directions and the like ready by tomorrow afternoon, which I will happily e-mail to you. Let me know if you need anything else.

12

I like Dostoyevski, but Crime and Punishment has had the same effect on me. Hopefully there’ll be another taker.

A team of naked, beautiful young women ready to do my biddi - oops, that’s right, my wife’s coming with. Nevermind. :slight_smile:

13

Agh! I’m sorry, folks, but tonight isn’t going to work. It has become necessary to get almost everything out right now. I’m going to be doing everything I planned to do over the next two days by tonight.

Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll leave the books behind here, and perhaps either tomorrow or later in the weekend I can arrange to have people over. I have a storage locker that I can put them in temporarily.

I’m sorry to raise some of your hopes and then dash 'em at the last minute, but things are a little tight now and I must put this on the back burner temporarily until I can get things settled down.

14

No problem - I know life is most complicated when you’re trying to move out of somewhere. I’ll just watch the thread for further developments.

15

Meh. No problems. I’m moving soon, anyways, so maybe I shouldn’t have too many books (What demon put that thought into my head? I take it all back, I’ll be following this thread, no worries.)

If you like, though, send me an e/mail, and I can send you the job links I’ve got. Might help to let me know what your field is, as well.

Incidentally, if you’re looking for a somewhat decent apartment, I’m paying $825 for a 2-bedroom in Takoma Park. I don’t know exactly when I’m leaving, but it should be soon. Lemme know.