The Great DVD Commentary Track Challenge

Cafe Society
1

I have this really weird idea for a challenge, and I’ll attempt to start it here.

I’ve always wanted to do something really weird; to take a DVD of a movie I’ve never seen but always wanted to, then watch it with the DVD commentary on THE FIRST TIME I WATCH IT. Don’t ask me why I’ve always wanted to do that, but I have.

Problem is, I haven’t had the balls to do that yet. To theoretically ruin that movie experience for myself by watching it in that manner the first time around, during which I won’t get to hear much of the dialogue, won’t understand what’s going on most of the time, and will have to hear gabbing interrupting it all throughout talking about the production, wardrobe, casting, et al even though I haven’t even seen the movie for real yet. And by the end, I’ll have probably figured out (through the visuals and whatever dialogue I get to hear) what essentially happens in the movie, at least at the end, thus the movie is spoiled, essentially.

But somewhere deep inside I know I must do this someday. Why? Because the possibility is there.

Why not today?

If I can turn this into a public challenge, I can maybe have enough motivation to actually do this. So here’s the challenge: I challenge others to join me in doing this. Take a movie you really wanna see but never have, take the dvd, and watch it the first time WITH COMMENTARY ON (assuming it has a commentary track; if not, pick one that does). My selection will probably be Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, which I have in my room ready to watch (and probably ruin) in this manner.

Who’s with me?

2

One of you wusses needs to man up and join me.

You know you want to.

3

I’m gonn a bump this one last time.

Someone at least post a response saying no.

4

I’ve been meaning to do this with Total Recall. But yeah, not for a while. Papers due and all.

5

The problem is the movie selection. Hellboy 2?

6

That’s MY movie selection. Yours can be anything, but it has to be something you really want to see (that’s what makes the game so ballsy- you’re effectively ruining the usual movie-watching experience, but in exchange you’re getting an exhilarating once-in a lifetime experience, a real mindfuck).

If you don’t like MY selection, here’s a list of other DVDs I have that I’ve never seen but really want to:

The sure thing
Buried
Boxcar Bertha
MI: ghost protocol
Hostel part 3
Defiance
Brick
Catfish
Otis (uncut)
30 minutes or less
21 jump street the movie
Flash of genius

How bout this: you agree to watch a DVD you really wanna watch but have never seen, with commentary on the first time you ever see it, and you get to pick which of my titles that I do the same thing with.

C’mon lets do it.

7

Have you ever seen Blood Simple? It’s commentary track would be uniquely interesting for this experiment.

8

One of those two. You’re not going to really ruin an amazing film. I mean, you know what is going to happen in Hostel Part 3, and it’s not as if the actors who made 21 Jump Street aren’t going to be plenty funny in a commentary track.

9

Has Prometheus got a commentary? I still haven’t watched that.

10

Saw it ten years ago. Early Coen brothers work, included in Eberts great movie lists. Good, but basically an inferior Fargo.

I just googled it and found that the blood simple commentary is significant because it contains a fake expert who makes stupid comments.

This is just one of scores of DVD commentaries that is notable from most. Wikipedia contains a list of notable commentary tracks, as does the onion av and other sites.

To be honest, I don’t want my commentary-first experience to be done with a commentary that’s special in some way; the experience is already special enough.

A study of notable DVD commentaries is one of the things that inspired me with an idea for a movie called Screams from a Cabin, which I talk about in my thread about movie ideas (look it up).

11

Yep http://m.totalfilm.com/features/11-questions-answered-by-ridley-scott-s-prometheus-commentary

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This Is Spinal Tap would be interesting.

13

A. Already seen it.
B. what did I say in post ten about not doing this with a special commentary?

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Maybe it would help you to choose to read through some of the commentary reviews on the AV club’s Commentaries of the Damned.

John Carter of Mars might be an interesting choice.

15

There’s always DVD Commentary: The Movie…

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One problem with doing this is, about 50% of the time, the commentary will spoil something important that happens later in the movie, almost always followed by, “If you are listening to this without having seen the movie first, we suggest you turn the commentary off.”

Suggestion: if you are listening to the commentary in your first viewing, then turn the English subtitles on as well.

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Lighten up, Francis. If people are showing interest in your experiment, you need to accept their suggestions with good grace instead of nitpicking.

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It seems like this would get extremely boring after 15 or 20 minutes. Especially since a lot of the commentaries I’ve listened to have some long empty spots, or as said above jokes about something in the movie that hasn’t happened yet.

If it were me, I’d do it on a TV DVD on an episode I haven’t seen yet. I’ve listed to quite a few of the Commentaries on the Early Simpsons seasons, it would be easy to get one of the later seasons to find an episode not yet seen.

What if the DVD has multiple commentary tracks? Which one do you pick?

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I did it!

WARNING: SPOILERS

I watched Hostel 3 with commentary on the first time I watched it- and I’ll never watch it the normal way, sans commentary. And NO, That Don Guy, I did NOT turn on subtitles- that would be cheating.

It was awesome. In the opening scene, as the young white American guy goes into the hotel room with the European couple, the guys on the commentary track give away that he’s the bad guy, not them; and as they do, they say “Hopefully no one’s watching this commentary track before having seen the movie.” I got chills- for once, I WAS watching the commentary track before having seen the movie!

I was able to follow the movie reasonably well without hearing most of the dialogue.

I pity the fool who has never done what I’ve done.

To address some of your recent posts: Edwards_beard, no it did not get boring after 15 minutes, and I disagree with your assertion that most commentary tracks have long empty spots; I’ve hardly ever encountered more than 10 seconds of silence on any commentary track.

If the DVD has multiple commentaries, pick the one with the highest-ranking people (directors over actors, actors over stagehands, etc.) talking in it.

Flywheel: thanks for the link. That was funny, and the cool part is, I really DO have an idea for a major motion picture about DVD commentaries:

Screams From a Cabin: A group of filmmakers made a movie about a witch (or something) in the woods in some town. They return to that town to record the commentary for the DVD of their movie, and are attacked and chased and go through the woods in terror the whole movie. They are wearing wireless mikes clipped to their collars, and leave them on the whole time. Thus, the film we watch is really a fake film overlaid with dialogue from what’s happening in this story; all we can hear are the characters and what we can make out audibly from their horror, but the film that they’re ‘commentary’ track is laid over helpfully supplements the action the whole movie.

Basically Blair Witch Project meets Old Time Radio horror programs, meets modern technology and DVD commentaries. I know this one might be hard for you to understand what I’m describing… It’s about some people whose dvd commentary recording turns into an audio recording of their doom. Get it?