The Great Sock Shortage of 2002

Over the past couple of weeks the number of socks disappearing in the washing cycle has increased. First I thought they were being stolen from my garden, but after spending 3 days hiding in a bush with a bat ready to club whatever is responsible for my cold feet, I discovered that the problem lies within the washing machine itself. I believe there is a secrete alliance between my washing machine and the other household appliances, which all seem hell-bent on either burning my toast or setting fire to my bathroom.
I was just wondering if anyone else is being afflicted by this sudden upsurge in sock theft and can you suggest a way of stopping it.

egg :mad:

I’m sorry - i really needed those socks.

gert orf my larwn

waves shotgun


They’re with my socks in a sock underground railroad.
Whine! Howl! Rant! Rave! WHERE ARE MY SOCKS!!!

I used to experience serious sock disappearance, but I haven’t lost one since I discovered the secret – safety pins. For 50 cents you can buy a package of 100 safety pins. Every night, when you remove your socks, pin them together before you throw them into the laundry. It’s the sock equivalent of a chain gang – they can’t escape when they’re linked together.

I keep them pinned together when I put them back in the sock drawer. When I want to wear them again, I undo the pin and drop it back into the box. It’s been several years, and I have yet to buy a new box of safety pins or lose a sock. Magic! I just can’t figure out why this isn’t standard practice everywhere.

The only down side is that I now wear my socks enough times for them to develop holes.

Another tried and true method is to buy Very Ugly Socks. You will find that the socks that tend to go missing are the one’s you paid a fortune for last week at the Sock Shop. Buy gruesome coloured one’s (baby-poo yellow tends to work in our household) and rest assured they will NEVER go missing.

I have Very Ugly Socks that have been around for 10 years or more, which for us is bordering on miraculous. Otherwise I have a large cane basket full-to-overflowing with lonely single socks. Apartheid has no place on OUR feet. We’ve taken to wearing the oddest combinations of colours and styles, all in the name of necessity. It’s either that or we’re stuck wearing the yellow one’s and NO-ONE is going to be seen dead in those! :stuck_out_tongue: