The Grudge. Fuck you. (Don't read if you don't want it spoiled.)

The BBQ Pit
1

OK, I understand it’s a remake of a Japanese flick, and for Og’s sake I hope the original was better.

I had quite a few goosebumps during the movie. Anything involving ghosts (mean) or anything in general that isn’t supposed to be freaks my shit out. (While panned by some, The Ring really got under my skin.)

NO FUCKING STORY TO IT!!!
Fuck everyone involved in this piece of shit. You scared me a few times until I laughed at the end when it was never revealed WHY the fucking kid was following people around. Little shape-shifting bastard. I hope to be able to go Maddox on him and kick him in the nuts. And his psycho mom that loves to appear in pictures of other dead people…FUCK! I can hardly keep up!

Whatever anyone thought of The Ring, at least there was resolution at the end. This steaming pile of fibrous waste left my system looking at me with a look that said, “You actually made me waste electrons playing this shit?”

See? Even my inanimate home theater system thought it sucked.

I can see how maybe the producer(s) were trying to guarantee a sequel. But there’s nothing to work with here. I’d equate it to reading chapters 5-14 of Great Expectations and being expected to know what the full story involved.

Fuck everyone involved in this movie, and especially anyone involved in marketing it so heavily. And the cock-mongers that were qouted saying “It’s more scary than Th Ring” or some such shit can lick the corn from my ass while I’m still chewing it. Yes, I hate those fuckers that much.

For the last decade horror flicks have fallen out of favor of the general public. Know why? If not, you haven’t seen The Grudge.

For a few years it looked promising to us fans of adrenaline rushes. But then you come along with what not only looks like a kick-ass horror flick, it’s piggy-backed with the success and art of the original. And you go and fuck it all up.

The reason I compare it to The Ring is two-fold.

First, The Ring had a, wait for it, STORY TO TELL! What a fucking concept!

Second, it LET YOU IN ON THE LITTLE SECRET!!!
See the difference in you suck-ass movie?!? In the superior one (and based on that alone it’s superior) THE AUDIENCE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON IN THE HAUNTINGS!!!
As said, ghost stories are the only ones that freak me out. The only thing that scares me more is death by drowning in a large body of water. (But if I drown in a pool it wouldn’t be so bad, go figure)

I started this movie hoping I’d have to maybe change my underwear when it was done. Now I’m just hoping to someday meet the producer so I can plop a steaming pile of shit into his mouth.

In case I didn’t make it clear above, I want to reiterate.

Fuck everyone involved in this crapfest Hollywood saw fit to dump on us. I almost feel sorry for the actors (Bill Pullman, have you no shame?) but they signed on after reading the script. Or lack thereof.

So to the actors, fuck you too.
I’m so pissed about this shit I hope the gaffers contract gonnoreah (sp?) and the mother of the lighting guy gets an infected ingrown toenail.

:mad:

2

If it’s any consolation, the original was pretty baffling, too.

What I don’t get is the naming. The original was called Juon, which translates pretty much as Grudge. The American version is titled The Grudge. So far, so good.

Now why the hell is the Japan release of the American version called The Juon?

3

I actually rented the Original Japanese version BEFORE seeing The Grudge.

The two are carbon copies of each other. Hell, the kid is even a carbon copy (which was wierd). However, me and my buddy turned it off about 45 mins into it cuz we couldn’t figure out what the hell was happening!

After watching The Grudge, we realized that it wasn’t worth the effort of trying to figure it out.
On a related note, I’d Pitt ALL of Hollywood, for putting out the same tired shit year after year and it keeps getting worse. Don’t forget Lucas and anyone else who makes CGI fest movies. They even use CGI to write the scripts.

And lastly, i’d Pitt all the morons who continue to go watch this drivel in the theaters. Hollywood won’t stop shipping us manure leftovers until people STOP paying $10 a ticket to be shit on. It’s bad enough that morons like me keep spending $4 to rent it!

and on to other horror movies coming out… care to wager on if Boogeyman sux ass too?

4

i’d also like to Pit myself for spelling Pit —> Pitt, not once, but twice. :smack:

I musta been thinking of Brad Pitt who’s been on all the tabloid magazines this week. (while cleaning the store, i invariably walk past these about 50 times a night)

5

Yeh I disagree entirely with this. The Ring made no sense whatsoever. The original japanese version makes sense. They’ve distorted the story so much that the sequel to The Ring Two, is nothing like Ring 2.
And The Ring did not have a resolution at the end at all. “Don’t you understand? She NEVER SLEEPS.” And the boy has to copy it and show it to someone else, who then has to copy it, etc etc. That’s not resolution, that’s the song that never ends.

The Grudge however, made sense when compared to The Ring.
The Grudge was simple to understand, woman and child die violent death, haunt house. Kill everyone who comes into said house. What’s not to understand?

6

Oh good Christ, I thought I was pissed when I wrote the OP screed. These fuckers are selling it back to Japan?!? Does it have the same fucking script?

I know there’s at least one Doper that lives in Japan and I’m hoping for a pulse of the island if (s)he stumbles in here.

I liked the movie for the parts that raised my hackles. I love scary movies as much as rollercoasters. For the same reasons as those whom love them, they give the afrenaline rush that is lacking in our pedestrian world where we don’t have to worry about being eaten by a stronger animal.
If anyone has ever heard Bill Cosby’s Chicken Heart routine, you know how I feel about horror flicks. “Go ahead, scare me to death.”

Gimme something to work with here, Hollywood. The shit you’re spewing lately is, well, :rolleyes:

Jesus H, I’m a conservative Republican and right now I hate Hollywood for not going far enough in trying to scare me.

Alec Baldwin is almost respectable again. :smack:

7

That if EVERYONE who steps foot in the house is going to die… and the police and paramedics and all whatnot ALL show up, the LAST time someone died… that’s a WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE who are going to die in short order. And if ALL those people die… how long could it POSSIBLY take for SOMEONE to figure this out and burn the fucking house to the ground???

Granted the one cop tried… but still!! … i mean, how stupid are the Japanese police?

Oh wait. Logic. This is hollywood.

Nevermind.

8

Policeman:Yeh, we need to burn this house to the ground.
Police Chief: Why?
Policeman: Because it’s HAUNTED!
Police Chief: Yeh, right. NEXT!

Maybe they do burn it down later.

9

Policeman: Uh sir… 40 people died last week under “mysterious circumstances”… all most all of them were police, fire department and paramedics. Oh, and some homeless kid w/ a limp.

Police Chief: Did they have anything in common?

Policeman: Yeah, they all were at the scene of that gruesome murder/suicide last week.

Police Chief: Hmm, that is strange. Perhaps the house is haunted by Juon.

Policeman: Yeah, that’s wut we were thinking too.

Police Chief: Well, ancestoral protocol calls for burning the house down.

Policeman: But Sir! If we burnt the house down, how could there be a sequal??

Police Chief: Oh yeah… ok, ignore it and maybe some idiot Amercian will buy it.

10

In movies, Americans always buy the most obviously haunted houses. You know, the solitary mansion atop a hill, for sale for like a dollar on a sunday.
American:Oh my dream house. Only a dollar! Great! Let’s move in!
::moves in::
Kid: Dad, I think there’s a ghost.
American: No son that’s just the wind.
Now, to me, the wind goes whoooooooooooooo not GET OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE!

I wish I knew who I could attribute that to.

11

Eddie Murphy: Delirious

(a relatively close rendition of the above… same idea anyway)

12

In my piised-off-i-tude I may have missed some finer points. Here’s the difference in the 2 movies.

  1. The Ring. She doesn’t sleep. (I still feel uneasy in a room with a tv if it isn’t on) Like I said I am affected by ghost stories. But at the very least you’re told WHY it’s happening. There’s resolution. Granted, there’s an opening for a sequel. (I’m hoping if one is in the works it’s at least half as good.) But even if it stands alone, you know why the weird shit is happening.

  2. The Grudge 40 minutes into the movie I wrote on a piece of paper what I thought the “secret” was. I do this for fun to stroke my own ego by waiting for the end of the movie for family and friends to read it and see that I knew all along what the “twist” was. Follow me here.

6th Sense. I knew what the “shocker” was 8 seconds after the scene of Willis being shot.

Signs, (why Gibson signed onto this is beyond me) no more comment. We all knew they were aliens

Maybe I just think Sayamlan (sp? who cares) is a hack. Dismissed.

The Forgotten, had that one after about 30 minutes.

Mystic River, this one actually insulted me as much as Sleepers did in the assumption I couldn’t connect obvious dots. Eastwood became a mortal again after watching that one.
The last few aren’t horror movies, but I mention them because I watch a lot of movies and horror is my favorite genre so I have a feeling of right-to-bitch-by-proxy. (There, try using more hyphens in one sentence. I dare ya)

Whatever else is said, The Grudge still sucks my unwiped ass.

13

jester21, I’m going to have to take a few days to come up with a really scathing pit thread about you.

No, sit down. I want you to look me clear in the eyes when I tell you this. Are you comfortable? Yes? Let’s try again asshole.

Can I offer you a refreshment? We at dufferland have everything you may need. Coffee, soda, beer, water, juice, whisky, brandy, vodka, rum, milk, beer (yeah, second mention, but who doesn’t love beer?) :dubious:

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m getting on your ass about this. Right? It’s real easy to understand.

Take a look at your post I just quoted. No, look again. LOOK AGAIN! ( I hate having to tell people to do something more than once!)

Your post had more of a story line to it than the entire fucking movie I sat through. So I’m going to dedicate my life to your demise* because you couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell those Hollywood fucks that a very weak story can’t be stretched into a 91 minute film, sold to the public at $10 a pop, then re-sold to the world in DVD sales no matter how good the special effects are.

I can’t hold in the laughter. The SFX were shit. Faces appearing where they aren’t supposed to be. OK. Seen it. Now make me “scene it”!

*No, I don’t want your demise and you knew that. Just covering my ass if a mod took that seriously. This movie really pissed me off.

14

If you bring enough beer, i’d even watch it again :smiley:

15

I couldn’t possibly stockpile enough beer to get myself to watch it again. You’re fucked in this deal.

Sorry. :eek:

16

I think The Grudge is actually the American remake of a sequel. It seems that there is a Japanese movie titled Ju-on, which was made in 2000. Here’s the summary. Then, Ju-on 2: The Curse was made, in the same year; here is information on that. The Grudge is actually a remake of the third movie in the Ju-on series. This might explain why the movie seems to have no plot: it’s not as free-standing a sequel as others might be.

17

I seriously don’t understand how you missed it. This isn’t an insult against you or anything, I just thought everything was pretty simple and straightforward, explained in the end.

The professor that offed himself at the very beginning, one of his former students had a huge crush on him, very stalker-like. That’s why she was in so many pictures of him; she was following him around. She had a husband and son, and eventually the husband found her journals, and went into a rage, killing her, her son, the cat, and then even himself. A few weeks later, the professor finds something which leads her to his stalker’s house, where he finds it haunted. Eventually, he kills himself, and a new family moves in…which is where the movie begins.

18

Absolutly no insult taken. I’m looking for answers! The summary you gave makes everything much more understandable. One of my big “What the…” moments was when Bill Pullman showed up and never said a word. I knew it was something big but it seemed so disjointed at the time.

Anyone else want to confirm that the original Japanese verion(s) were easier to follow?

I knew it was a remake but didn’t know it was an established 3 film establishment.

19

Well, when Bill Pullman showed up at the end, it was sort of a reflection of the past (This was sort of referenced by the changing of the lighting…), showing the events that transpired after the husband went insane and killed everybody.

20

I thought The Ring made as much sense as Ringu. Yeah, it was told a little differently, but I didn’t see any real differences in the plots of the two movies. As I recall, they both ended with the mother deciding to have her son make a copy of the tape and show it to someone (so he wouldn’t die). The only difference I remember is that in The Ring, we actually saw the boy making the copy. Of course, I saw the movies about two years apart, so maybe I’m forgetting something. But as for The Ring Two having a different plot than Ringu 2, my understanding is that that was a creative decision on the part of the director/writer/whoever, not because The Ring and Ringu were so different that they couldn’t have similar sequels.

It’s not. In fact, from what I’ve read about the remake in this thread, I’d say it’s even more difficult to follow. I’ve seen the Japanese version, but not the American remake, so I can’t compare the two, but the Japanese version had me completely confused (this wasn’t helped by what I think must have been a huge continuity error; either that or I just wasn’t paying close enough attention) and I didn’t care for it too much. From what I’ve heard, though, the two versions are pratically identical, just with (some) different actors, and apparently, a little more exposition.

I’m not sure that it’s a remake of a sequel. The Japanese seem to have this confusing habit of making and remaking a horror film and its sequels. Take The Ring, for instance. First, there was the book. Then, there was the made-for-TV movie and its sequels, then the big-screen remake and its sequels, and then the American remake (and soon, its sequel). From what I can tell by looking at the IMDb, Ju-on has had a similar history. So, the American movie with Sarah Michelle Gellar might be a remake of a remake, not a remake of a sequel, though I’m not certain about this and am too lazy now to go hunting down the answer. If I’m wrong, I’m sure one of our Japanese members will be along shortly to correct me.