“I’m not defending his thought or his expressing of it…”
With your post you are definitely defending his expressing of it, or there’d be no point behind your post.
Yeah, we all have evil horrible thoughts which we can scarce believe occur in our HEADS, and would no sooner think of acting on than try to prove that fire is hot by sitting in an incinerator. However, most of us manage to allow our two (or more) brain cells to click together and think, “You know…that’s probably not something I should say if I don’t want a bunch of people pissed off at me.” And if Scylla didn’t care that people were pissed, he wouldn’t keep posting in this thread either…unless it was actually a trolling post, in which case it was assholish too.
I can think, “Damn. I sometimes wish I was divorced so I could get rid of the fucking kids for a weekend every so often.” If I were to POST that, I would get a ration of shit from divorced people, single mothers, single fathers, and pretty much any other decent parent in the country. Does that mean I don’t think it sometimes? No. But I’m not so egotistical and arrogant to think that I could post that and then get out of it by saying “You’re obviously too plebian to understand my refined sense of humor.”
I must not have explained myself clearly. Mea Culpa. It’s not the “Gee! That’s a nice sportscar. I want it.” or “Gee, that’s a great parking spot, I wish I had it.” that bugs me. For me it was the 'The person with the sports car in the handicapped spot is either a faker or a wimp." in the “bad-ass” post
And, you’ll note, I was on your side on the SUV thing, so no. It’s not all right when someone mischaracterizes your wife. Neither is it all right when you mischaracterize my sister-in-law as a faker or a wimp.
There was obviously a lot of facetiousness with that “King of The World, Badass” thing, but when you cut through it and see what’s left it’s still not any good.
I regret posting it as an either/or proposition, though.
For the record, I have no problem with Corvette drivers of any types. It is only the occasional Dodge Viper or Porsche cabriolet that brings out the green-eyed monster.
Not true. The point of my post was that too many people in this thread are so ravenous for a little Scylla blood that they’re jumping all over him without actually reading what he’s writing. The OP did need to be explained further, but after a few posts, I got that what he was saying was not that people don’t deserve handicapped placards, or that they don’t deserve to drive fancy sports cars, what he was saying was, “GodDAMN, I’m jealous of that fucker! He’s got a fancy-ass sportscar and I don’t!” but it didn’t get expressed in precisely that way, and that’s how it happens in most of our heads. I get pissed off at something, and it’s frequently not about what it seems on the surface to be about.
Being one of the ‘not visible’ handicapped, I have a placard. I drive a SUV, and I don’t care if people look at me funny or not. the doctor gave me the order, I took it to DMV and they gave me the placard. I don’t need anyone’s approval or understanding.
That being said, I actually understand what scylla meant in his OP. I must be getting brain dead, my two cells are slowing dying away. It didn’t offend me, knowing his style of posting. And as I sit here and read all the posts, remembering all the topics and subjects that have been covered on this board and all the posts and suck-ups and flames thrown, I keep thinking what a bunch of hypocrites we all are.
Oh, and “You’re obviously too plebian to understand my refined sense of humor.” is not at all what I got from Scylla’s posts, in this thread at least. What I got was, “If you’re so determined to be offended and pissed off that you’re not going to make an effort to actually understand what I’m saying, then fuck off.”
You’re wrong. You hit a very very sore spot with some people (me included) because you simply can’t imagine how hard it is to have a handicap or a loved one who is handicapped. Add to that the common attitude that a person in a handicapped space is obligated to prove on an ongoing, daily basis to all other drivers that they deserve to park there, and you may start to see why people close to this issue are fed up with sentiments like those expressed by you in this thread.
So rather than saying “I didn’t mean anything bad by my OP – the fact that people got so mad just proves everyone else is unreasonable”, perhaps you could say “wow, I never knew this was a big deal to so many people – maybe I fucked up”.
Your OP sucked. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t clever. It wasn’t friggin’ necessary.
FWIW, my couple of posts (rather mild compared to most) were not at all meant to insult the crap out of Scylla. I do realize that there are a lot of misconceptions out there about disabilities and driving, and thought he might have been a victim of one or more those rather than simply a jackass. I thought I was just fighting ignorance, and apologize if anyone took it as an insult.
Even my first orthopedic surgeon thought I wasn’t eligible for a placard if I was too injured to drive myself (try driving stick shift with one leg! And I was too broke then to sell it and buy an automatic), until I researched the issue and proved that it’s also fine for anyone giving a ride to a disabled person to use the placard. Otherwise, how would the truly profoundly disabled people, like, say, quadriplegics, ever get driven anywhere? So misconceptions abound, even among the best-intentioned people.
To the other handicapped folks in this thread (and their family), aren’t you used to this stuff by now? It’s not any fun, but unfortunately it comes with the territory. It used to get to me, and on occasion it still might, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m usually numb to it. You can only hear the “you need a horn” or “you need to get four wheel drive” jokes so many times before you just have to give a never-heard-that-one-before-you’re-so-clever-and-original laugh and not give it a second thought.
Scylla, to follow on the heels of the SUV thread, with this one, strikes me as an over-the-top demonstration of your failing judgment and empathetic skills. The Viper rant seemed off-kilter, as if it was trying to be tongue-in-cheek, but miserably failing.
Feel free to e-mail me the response to this question: Are you happy with yourself?
“I am surprised at the way that I’m getting killed though. There are polite and reasonable ways to address a percieved insult or slight that may not have been intended. I assure you that had they been addressed that way to me, I would have responded appropriately.”
Scylla, my read of this situation is that some of us are held to a higher standard.
And when we fuck up, people will land on it with both feet. Wearing cleats.
As someone who has gleaned a lot from this board in terms of adulation, and who has also shown himself to be pretty derisive of people who fuck up, you are perhaps expected (by some Dopers) to be a little more forthcoming with the “mea culpas.” That’s all.
I understand that is not your personal style. I don’t think you much care to apologize one more iota that you feel you should. However, a different response from you might result in replies that are somewhat more palatable and appropriate for a “golden boy”
For all the people who are attacking Scylla with “only if you kxew how it was to be handicapped” or “I once knew someone that was handicapped.” Many poeple who are not handicapped or do not know anyone that is handicapped DO NOT care for handicapped people. I for one an not handicapped not do I know anyone who is handicapped, what I read from the OP is someone getting a double perk, handicapped parking and a nice car, the handicap thing went completely over my head.
At my college I have to sit in my car waiting for 30 min. or so just to wait for a parking spot to opon up… I see a BMW pull into a handicapped stall (car has handicapped placards), young man steps out and walks normally to class… I am still waiting for parking. Heck yeah… of course I would be envious of the handicapped parking and nice car. THese thoughts go through my mind:
-why is he parked in a handicapped space when he can walk perfectly
-how come a handicapped person have such a nice car
-i wonder if i can get one of these placards illegally
-why does a person who drives such a expensive car go to a community college
-i wonder if i can ditch class today
Of course some of these thoughts are irrational, but I am pretty sure that many people think this way as well.
Maybe the driver of the Viper is really handicapped… maybe not… The UCLA incident really sticks in my mind… if these students could get a Handicapped placard easily enough… what is to stop a rich person from acquiring one.