But which Finduilas? Of Nargothrond or Dol Amroth?
I bet Finduilas of Nargothrond was more of a babe…
There’s lots of good material that can be drawn from the appendix, as has already been pointed out. The adventures of Thorongil would be high on my list.
Heck, maybe even some Hobbit prequel stuff, like the War of Dwarves and Orcs, Gandalf going into Dol Gulder, or even (really going back a bit) the first Ride of the Rohirrim.
Finduilas? Radagast? This is all you people can come up with?
Envision with me: The Hobbit II: Bilbo’s Tea Time
Relive the Memories as Bilbo walks past his mithril-coat in the hall!
Feel the Anticipation as Bilbo sets the kettle on to boil!
Imagine the Horror as Bilbo discovers the last seed-cake has been eaten!
Experience the Suspense as Bilbo sees the Sackville-Bagginses coming up the drive!
When will the kettle boil?
What flavor tea will Bilbo choose?
Can Bilbo avoid the S-Bs?
**Summer 2010:**It’s Teatime.
I think he accidentally killed his wife.
Dear god, this makes me want to rush out and buy an Xbox just so I’ll be ready when the game comes out.
Will Bilbo bring out the cold chicken and pickles for guests? Or… will he keep them for himself?
And those seed-cakes! Damn, I’d totally forgotten about the seed-cakes. Okay… so **Hobbit II ** will be Finduilas, Radagast, and seed-cakes. This can work. Surely Radagast carries around a few seed-cakes, what with his affection for birds and all. “May I offer you another seed-cake, my dear?” he murmured. She leaned forward hungrily. The gown slipped to the floor…
Man, now I’m all hungry for seed-cakes. And I don’t even really know what they are.
Seed cake is a traditional British cake flavoured with caraway seeds. Caraway seeds have been long used in British cookery, and at one time caraway-seed cookies were prepared to mark the end of the sowing of the spring wheat. These particular cookies later evolved into this distinctively flavoured tea cake.
The cake was popular in the Victorian era, with a recipe for it being described by Mrs. Beeton[sup]1[/sup].
STOP IT! STOP IT! It’s 11 PM where I am! Where the hell am I supposed to get seed-cakes at this hour? Why are you doing this to me?!
I don’t even know where to get them at 11am?
Fine. I just checked the kitchen. All I have here are Little Debbie Snack Rolls. I don’t need to tell anyone what an inadequate substitute this is.
1 ½ cups unbleached flour
1 cup cracked wheat flour
1 pkg. yeast
1/8 cup warm ale
1/8 tsp. salt
4 oz. (1 stick) sweet butter
3/4 cup sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1 tbs. seed (caraway)
½ - 1 cup milk
Sift together the flours and salt; set aside in large bowl. Dissolve yeast in warm ale, along with 1/8 tsp. of the flour mixture.
Cream together the butter and sugar. Beat in eggs and seeds.
Make a well in the flour and add the dissolved yeast.
Fold flour into yeast mixture, then fold in the butter.
Slowly beat in enough milk to make a smooth, thick batter.
Pour batter into an 8" round greased cake pan.
Bake in middle of oven at 350° F for 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool slightly before turning onto a cake rack.
Thank you for that, What Exit? That is helpful. I will just nip back into the kitchen and find the warm ale. I’m pretty sure I saw it right behind the Little Debbie cakes. They usually go together on the shelf, don’t they? Where do you keep your warm ale, What Exit? Can I borrow 1/8 cup? ARE YOU GOING TO EMAIL ME SOME CARAWAY?
What did I do, What Exit? Was it the Finduilas references? The implied Gollum/Shelob liaison? It was Finduilas, wasn’t it? What did I do to deserve this? Why are you lashing out at me? What did I say?
Fine. I have eaten the Little Debbie cakes. And some Brazil nuts. Which I believe are technically “seeds.” So those bases are covered at least. That’s the best I can do right now. I don’t even care anymore.
Again, thank you What Exit? Thank you SO MUCH. Maybe one day you’ll be thirsty and I can DESCRIBE A GLASS OF WATER AT YOU.
Actually, to fit any full-length novel into a movie, you need to cut out a lot of material. They could very easily turn The Hobbit, without any supplemental material, into four or five hours of film, just by not cutting as much. But four or five hours is rather long for one sitting, so you split that up into two movies.
Still, though, no movie has ever been hurt by adding more elf-maidens in diaphanous dresses.
I guess it depends on how much they emphasize of which parts of the book. A lot of things and details and descriptions in a book are charming to read, but downright tedious on film.
I mean, do we really need to make a good 2nd-tier character out of the Mayor of Lake Town and his little schemes to undermine the dwarves? I guess it depends on what kind of fun they want to have with a hero’s welcome for the dwarves from the residents of the town. But it seems like it could all be dispensed with in fairly short order, and still introduce the character of Bard (dragon slayer!), and not be missed very much, where if you went literally by the book, you’ve got to spend a good (and tedious) half hour or more in Lake Town, just getting ready to think about going to see that mountain, you know, the one the whole movie is about. Take that for what it’s worth.
Back on the Thorongil sub-thread: I wonder what it means that “Aragorn served his lords in disguise”. I assume that means he went under an assumed name, but I’m wondering what Aragorn does to disguise himself; he’s already fairly hirsute, so a beard doesn’t matter much. Go platinum maybe? A Groucho nose and glasses? Lifts in his moccasins?
What, you don’t keep Bass Ale in the house at all times?
I have warm and cold Bass Ale in my kitchen.
I have the seeds and all the other ingredients except I couldn’t find any cracked wheat flour though. Maybe I’ll buy some tonight. Did I mention I have Bass Ale?
Jim
Amen. But don’t forget the seed-cakes.
Now there is a man after my own heart. Give me a pint of Ale, a few seed cakes and maybe a little pipe weed. Ah, contentment.
And you know they would absolutely make that film if it wasn’t for one little thing: Fear of giggling Terry Pratchett fans.
“It’s tay-ah-tee-mah!”
“Giggle!”
Quite so. It’s enough to make the hair on the tops of your feet extra curly.
Blast! I was just about to write that!
I hope Bard keeps the cool 70s pornstache from the animated version.
And there better be songs.