So some guys rent a warehouse, build a couple of half-ass props, hire a few actors, AI-generate some promo pictures and a script and charge people $45 to experience it. I’ve seen it compared to an episode of Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
There is a man we don’t know his name. We know him as the Unknown. The Unknown is an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls.
The carney sideshow lives!
“This way to the Egress.”
People pay money for the Real WIlly Wonka experience.
Children dress up, get all excited, and end up crying and traumatized.
Defense - “You asked for the real Willy Wonka experience, that’s what we delivered”
Jury - “You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir! I said Good Day!”
I wonder what the Slugworth Experience is like?
Also being discussed in the Stupid MFs omnibus thread, starting here;
Pay attention to the text in the AI images the first link.
Going to the imagnation[sic] lab, eh?
I’ve been to a few discount “attractions” in the Wisconsin Dells that could give this place a run for it’s money.
No jelly bean and no cup of lemonade.
Surely Billy McFarland was behind this, right?
The full script has been released. Producing it accurately would have been… challenging.
I was reading through it, and other than the scripted audience reactions and the mildly difficult giggle-grass pressure-plate speakers, I was like, “Okay, this is dumb, but I could see it working.”
Then I got to the Bubble Bloom.
This is the point where the parents, torn between boredom and mild whimsy, perk up, realizing that they’re actually in the throes of a fey creature, and what happens next is going to be entirely up to fey whim.
I think the rest is horror.
Edit: Okay, there’s this:
If I’m ever at a paid event and the MC asks me if I’m feeling a bit whitey, I’m looking around for the burning cross.
You didn’t even get to the best part!
If they’d actually had a budget for trap doors, laser battles, and a giant vacuum cleaner sucking up the Unknown, they could’ve put this on Broadway.
This was put on by an enigmatic wordsmith hailing from the bustling streets of Glasgow.
Only the Mail would toss “who once cancelled Santa’s Grotto” into the lede as if that was something the reader was supposed to understand with no further clarification.
I think the scammer art director has never heard of Harvard’s Law: Under controlled conditions of light, temperature, humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
Perhaps it’s because I grew up remembering Lawrence Welk but rather than excitement and wonder I’d be thinking, “Huh. A bubble machine.” I suspect most kids would, too.
You can’t script audience reaction.
Someone needed to tell the AI “more ‘whimsical stage show for kids,’ less ‘pastiche of the Circe chapter from Ulysses.’”
They don’t even get into the garbage he’s been hawking on Amazon.
