The Irishman SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

[ASL_v2.0]

@Hilarity_N.Suze

I’m not gonna slag the acting of De Niro or Pacino because they can both act, but oh my god the CGI de-aging so didn’t work. People have mentioned, they still moved like old men and mostly looked like old men. At no point did De Niro look anything less than 50 years old, and there were times when he should have (being called “kid,” baptiziing his children). While mostly I thought the cinematography was great, there comes a time to cut. Get on the plane, get off the plane, we don’t need to see the plane take off, fly, and land, and then take off and land again. Yeah, those were really nice landings (I heard you paint runways). But, enough. There was also a long, uncomfortable, and totally redundant scene where it looked like somebody’s needle got stuck in the groove, they’ve said it, they’ve said it again, get out of this scene. Writers get told all the time, “Kill your darlings.” I think there were some darlings here that needed killing.

It could have been a normal length. It could have had age-appropriate actors. I do get that oh, this is Scorcese, Pacino, De Niro, and Pesci but if it’s not entertaining, fuhgeddabout it. There are better organized crime movies.

And quite frankly it’s hard for me to think of De Niro as an Irishman, let alone THE Irishman. This was made a lot harder by having to look at him.

Come on guys, retire already. Let somebody from a younger generation get famous.

I’m not even gonna mention the scene where I first thought Hoffa was wearing a Nixon mask. Yes, I found that distracting. Also the bad wig.

As Joseph Gordon-Levitt said to Bruce Willis (in which the latter appropriately played an older version of the former’s character, without relying on CGI to down-age Willis), it’s time for these older actors to “do what old men do, and die.”

I don’t mean literally, but yeah, this movie needed younger actors up-aged through makeup where necessary, not old actors who couldn’t act young to save their lives. And seriously, two of the most well-known Italian American actors of all time playing an Irishman and a Pennsylvania Dutch. Was that really necessary?

Netflix is making like it won’t give this movie a wide-release as an effort to play hardball with theater chains. The truth is, it just wouldn’t do that well and would become an unmistakable box office bomb. How the hell did they spend so much money on this? Was it the CGI?

Anyway, 6 out of 10 for me.