- Third party present when he picks up his machine.
1a. Preferably NOT in your shop where he may decide to try to “confiscate” (steal) some of your property as collateral until you return his. - CASH presented before computer is placed anywhere he can get to. No check that can be bounced.
- Collect serial numbers for machine and OS keys and email to Microsoft.
And hey, last week I had someone threaten to write to our CEO about my “rude, arrogant and unhelpful attitude” because I refused to tell him his wifi password. His AT&T wifi password. No, I don’t work for AT&T. In the end, he didn’t write to the CEO, but he did write in to complain, and it got down to my fill-in supervisor, who asked why I was so unhelpful that the man felt it necessary to complain in such strong terms. Dumbass. Listen to the call. I was very nice in explaining that he needed to call AT&T because it wasn’t our equipment. The man was just a huge “woe is me” victim about it.
I can’t believe anybody would keep their wifi unsecure these days. All it takes is one pervert downloading kiddie porn and you are fucked for life.
One of my very first wifi calls doing computer tech support was a Sorority House who had been doing the same thing. Their neighbor even changed the name of the network to “Get Off My Damned Network”. Took a lot of work for me to get it out of them that it was actually not their network*, then they wanted me to help them hack into it and change the password. I recommended that they get their own internet service, because we were not about to help them break the law.
*Me: As I keep saying, you’ll need to reset the router and/or change the password.
Her: We can’t.
Me: Why not?
(long pause)
Her: Because it’s on the other side of a locked door.
Me: Excuse me? A locked door in your own house? Don’t you have a key?
Her: No, in our neighbor’s house.
Oh fer’cryin’…it was a throwaway line that was supposed to be kinda funny…it wasn’t serious…some of you people around here really need to lighten up.
I love it!
In a moment of weakness and necessity, I confess to taking advantage of a neighbor’s unsecured WLAN for a few moments. Worked great, once I got past the welcome screen listing all the neighbor’s passwords and vital information. I found it a bit odd— seems like you’d want something a bit more discreet for a welcome message. It even offered to mail me a CD-ROM.
Classic!
**elninost0rm[/] - The wireless 3g modems work about as well as downloading the file to your smartphone (which is essentially what you’re doing.) They’re slow enough to make you crazy, if you’re used to broadband, but better than nothing. They work anywhere you’d get cell phone service. The data plans are pretty pricey, which is why I mentioned it as a business expense. For someone doing on-site repairs, I suspect it would be an advantage.
Awesome segment. However, I found myself wondering what he was saying at the end when he got cut off; he started saying, “Here’s what I do - when I see an open access…” and the video got cut. Now I’m curious what he was going to talk about!
Ordinarily yes, but some sites use really stupid things, java download managers, and other retarded bullshit, instead of giving you a direct file link. These can break on a smart phone.
Round 2 <ding>
Phone call at 542pm (shop closes at 6) “Valued customer” calls in and says he has the money and wants to come pick up his laptop, and that he has the police meeting him down there. I tell him not to and that because he wanted to play games with me last night he will be receiving instructions in writing by mail as to how we will proceed so there are no further “misunderstandings”.
Him: but the police said I can get my computer if I have the money!
Me: you will recieve written instructions in the mail
Him: but the police said I can get my computer if I have the money!
Me: if the police arrive before 6pm, obviously I will have little choice, but we have to lock up at 6pm sharp.
Him: more bullshit about how we cant do that to him because “but the police said I can get my computer if I have the money”
Me: The police do not dictate my store hours, you will receive written instructions to prevent any more “misunderstandings”
Him: I’m coming down there
<click>
I call my partner at the shop to give him a heads up, then I call police dept to ask if a unit had been dispatched to my business.
PD has no clue what I was talking about but they would be more than happy to send someone if we feel there could be a problem. I tell them “no thank you”
Call back partner 5:58pm
He is supposedly on his way down there and police have no clue about any meetup at shop, lock up and get out. ( I did this in part for his own safety, not knowing who or how many friends he is bringing and I am not gonna leave him there alone with this guy, my partner is half my physical size)
6:08 “Valued customer” calls and leaves a voice grousing how he had made it with 10 min to spare and we were gone and what jerks we were.
Part of the instructions will involve me setting an appointment when both me and my biz partner will be there and possibly other backup.
If he tries to take any “collateral” or damage anything, I will happily press charges for theft, vandalism, etc, as needed. I know where he lives, and PD already knows he has an issue with me making things look very very bad for him.
Payment will be in cash only.
If he tries going the BBB/BEAR complaint route, because he called PD before I have a nice legally defensible get out of jail free card with them.
Absolutely nothing. Take me away. I acknowledge this.
It was moreso advice than anything.
I get your point (as I’ve never had a welcome screen with an outpouring of vital information either), but it’d still be wise to possibly reconsider his methods. Would he ever get caught? Chances are almost 100% that he wouldn’t, but you just never know.
Heh. You already caught it, but I was going to suggest that you do not take any personal checks from this guy. 
Any updates?
His mom showed up at my shop, alone, paid the bill, and left without incident, complaint, or comment.
His mom?
What a man!
I’m actually grateful. As cathartic as it might be to tell him to his face to go fuck a rolling cheerio, I would prefer to deny him the potential audience of other customers.
I hope you kept all his information so when he calls you for help months form now you can tell him No way in hell.
HIs Mom. What a jerk.
I’d be secretly hoping I see him again, so I could taunt him:
“Your mom goes to the computer shop…”
Know what? He’d probably get his Mom to come down and pretend it’s hers.
I will happily check it in, then find EVERYTHING wrong with it.