That’s because eight is a lucky number in Chinese tradition. Duh.
CERN will release a black hole. This will be accompanied not by antimatter but antitime. The black hole will be thrown backwards in space time.
Creating the famed Tunguska blast. QED.
Well, there’s the problem. I’m not Chinese. I didn’t even get laid; everyone was distracted by the Olympics.
All you needed right there was initiative. “Hey, you know, today’s a really lucky day in the Chinese calendar, and it’s my birthday…”
What bothers me is that this potentially Universe-shattering experiment is being carried out by a bunch of namby-pamby, cheese-eating, black-turtlneck-wearing, Sartre-quoting Europeans. When it should have been happening in Texas, by God!
Clearly, gentlemen, what we have here is…a Hadron Gap!
Ah well. I guess it’s back to the drawing board.
Anyone got any good ideas about how to hold the world for ransom?
I know this is a naive thought for a man who has faced down HIT Marks, Nephandi, Black Spiral Dancers, and more vampires than you can shake a stake at- but why can’t people just be nice?
Whence the urge to hold the world for ransom? Why not use your knowledge for good?
Didn’t you guys have a Superconducting Supercollider half-constructed, and you cancelled it? I’m sorry, but if you let the initiative slip to Europe, that’s your fault.
Edit: Yes, you did, it was in Texas, and it was even bigger that the one at CERN.
Edit: I just read your link. :smack:
I don’t care if there is a black hole or not so long as it takes care of Baltimore.
Well, that won’t be nearly as much fun, now would it?
Oh, certainly, certainly. No doubt we’ll be ruing the day we ever elected those pusillanimous penny-pinching pantywaist politicians when we’re staring down the event horizon of a European black hole.
Uh… Does that mean that Excel is involved in construction of LHC?
Now, I’m worried.
Even better: for those who don’t want to have to check the website regularly, they have an RSS feed.
They currently have false information. According to the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board, a reputable organization regarding this matter built of experts in the field of geocide has conclusively detected and proved that the Earth is, in fact, destroyed. As such I think you need to let go, as per the advice on their page:
Strange you should say that …
I am deeply ashamed of myself.
Well, you know, your self esteem and your shame has ups and downs. You’ve bottomed out but should be back on top of the world soon enough!
I’m REALLY ashamed of myself, but I love this place so much.
What I find really annoying is that there has been almost no reporting in the media that concentrates on the actual experimenting. Instead it’s all been the fears of a few fruitcakes about the world ending. Why does science only get reported if there’s a dumbed-down angle to draw the punters in?
Naw. No need to worry that Excel has left some kind of flaw in the construction of the LHC.
She’s just part of the operations team.
Yeah. I hate it when the Masses get together and accuse us of tampering with things man was not meant to know. Science must be advanced!
This device is even more sinister than I thought, instead of disappearing things, it reclassifies them instead. The human race will be destroyed not in a cloud of subatomic particles but will reappear as a branch of the shrimp family :eek: