We are getting our orders for our next mission from the Mirror Transmittor which only is visible to our Estrogen Agents who scrunch up their noses and say to their " reflection" “Oh, God, I look like shit.”
These mirrors…zee do nothink!
I’ve said too much.
Thank you, Singapore! Thank you thank you thank you!
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seat.
I choose to believe that when all women use the restroom, they are furiously masturbating themselves while thinking about what a hot stud I am.
I can have whatever fantasies I want, damnit!
Ok, for one thing, a quarter of the damn month we ARE mensturating. That takes a bit of time to work through. Number two, you know, girls aren’t allowed to fart, nose-pick, bra-strap/ panty-line adjust, or boob-positon-adjust anywhere else. You know that thing where the guy next to you at the urinals lets off a loud one? We can’t do that, culturally, even in front of women. We have to take the rare opportunity to get all that stuff done. Number three, as someone above mentioned, some of these clothes are fucking complicated. It takes some time to get nylons to do what they are supposed to do, get slacks on, do up a belt, tuck shirts in, or god forbid a jumpsuit or something. You guys can just unzip and whip it out.
But some people take so long I can’t figure out WHAT they are doing, and I have to assume it’s either napping or the stealth-pooping manouvre, waiting for everyone else to leave, and basically renting the stall until then (a moment which will never come).
I’m with you Anaamika. My hubby takes long showers, long baths and reads entire novels on the throne. I’m Speedy Gonzales.
Just saw the clarification of the question. I’m fast in public too. If it ever takes me a long time to return, it’s because stalls are out of order and I’m waiting in line and/or I am having trouble finding an unclogged sink, a working soap dispenser or paper towels. I blame facilities.
:eek:
I KNEW IT!!!
I’m with the I’m-in-I’m-out as quickly as possible female crowd. And going in pairs is just icky. Sadly, in many Los Angeles area ladies’ facilities in nightclubs, there exist shocking items. Namely, large handicapped sized stalls. With a loveseat in them. That whole setup just grosses me out.
And I’m not even gonna talk about the other things I’ve seen. :eek:
Well, sitting in that stall in the ladies’ room is my “quiet time.” I knit an afghan or two, hum the complete symphonies of Gustav Mahler, tweeze my legs, trim my naughty bits, and then lean back to relax while reading the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary. If I really have to, I might pee, but somebody might hear me, so I’d rather hold it in until later.
God, you turn me on.
Personally, I do all my posting to here in the bathroom. I find something about the cold white tiles inspiring.
And occasionally I pee.
Well you see Roger, women wash their hands…
But do you dry them, or do you leave your filthy residue on the doorknob too?
Actually, the issue of the number of stalls came up here in the States, too. Some folks did dismiss it as the ravings of hysterical feminists, but there is logic to it. In a men’s room, you have X number of stalls plus Y number of urinals, thus giving X + Y facilities for a person to relieve himself. In a women’s room, you’ve only got Z number of stalls. If the number of stalls in a women’s room is equal to the number of stalls in a men’s room, and I gather it often is, if only because of symmetrical design, then women actually have fewer facilities for relieving themselves, thus causing delays.
Here’s an example. Let’s say it’s intermission at a concert. The men’s room has 4 stalls and 4 urinals. The women’s room has only 4 stalls. If 8 men and their dates decide to take advantage of the concert, each of the men can accomplish his business and get out. Half of the women, however, have to wait until someone in the other half is finished, thus resulting in the men standing around wondering what on earth takes the women so long! (I’m assuming all 16 are reasonable, sensible and efficient.) Does this make sense?
One other thing. I know for myself, if I’ve dressed to impress a fellow, it may take me a bit longer to reassemble everything simply because it may be a bit tighter and I want to make sure everything looks right. Pulling up a pair of stockings plus underwear takes longer than simply pulling up underwear. Checking to make sure we’re not showing anything like the dreaded “visible panty lines” of advertising lore, etc. also takes a bit longer. Making sure that while we were leaning forward, listening to you, our bras haven’t accidentally peeked above our neckline takes a bit longer and, while we might enjoy the tell-tale leer some of you give, we’re quite aware that the dowager at the next table is sniffing about “the loose morals of youth these days!” In short, we may take a bit longer because we want to make sure we look good! If you’re the guy we’re out with, I hope you won’t mind! 
CJ
I’ve also used ladies rooms that were ex-men’s rooms. Complete with urinals, or evidence of formerly existing urinals in the walls. Mostly on college campuses where the student body at the time the building was built was all male, but by the time I was there was only about half male.
Stalls are often wider than urinals, so even assuming the designer has crammed as many of each as possible into their respective rooms, if the rooms are the same size, there’s at least 50% more urinals than stalls.
More stalls do help, but they’re often only found in venues where there’s more people. Also, a big bathroom does make me more likely to make the attempt, adding myself to the line. If I know a theater has a small bathroom, I may decide to hold it until we get to the restaurant. So, yeah, installing more stalls DOES mean that more women will come.
Other than that, it’s the mechanics of looking around for a place to put my purse (5 seconds), taking off my long coat if I’m wearing one (5 seconds - 10 if it’s a small stall and I’m struggling like a bear trapped in a small cave), finding a place to hang it (5 seconds), clothing (about 10 seconds), nylon stockings (5 seconds), sitting and peeing (30 seconds) and wiping (between 5 and 30 seconds, details are TMI and involve periods). Then reverse: nylons back up (20 seconds), replace clothing (20 seconds), replace coat (10 seconds), replace purse (5 seconds), exit stall and wash hands (60 seconds, unless waiting for a sink, which often happens.)
Even if I don’t check my hair, freshen my lipstick, or chat with a friend, we’re talking 3 minutes, minimum.
When she’s in there even longer? You can assume her period came when she wasn’t expecting it, and all of the above was followed by her leaving the stall to find a tampon machine, and reentering the stall to do all of the above all over again to insert the tampon. (This is a good reason to go in pairs right here - asking your girlfriend to hand you a tampon under the stall door is much faster!) Or she was pooping. Or something didn’t flush down the first time and she has to wait for the bowl to fill and try a second flush.
Incidently, I find one fact often horrifies men: we talk WHILE we’re peeing! We’ll just talk loudly from one stall to the next. This doesn’t often happen in a crowded bathroom, but if it’s just me and my friend in an otherwise empty room, we’re chatting away the whole time. 
I always wondered why it is socialy acceptable for me to pee in front of each other, yet it is not for women.
I’m quite happy it is that way…it just seems odd.
I was in a unisex bathroom once, and there were 2 women washing their hands as I prepared to exit.
As I was walking out the door, one of the women turned to me and with a haughty tone said:
“My mother taught me to wash my hands after I pee.”
I replied:
“My father taught me not to pee on my hands.”
My boyfriend draws murals on the wall while on the throne. I think he needs more fiber.
Not just socially acceptable; it’s a kind of badge of manhood to wee next to another man (preferably with one urinal in between, lest he think you gay) and chat about this and that quite nonchalantly. You mustn’t look at him more than say twice in the time it takes to finish, shake and all, and glancing below the waist is a no-no. Blackadder II (with “Bob”) reflects on this aspect of constructed masculinity very nicely.