To the Women in my Building--TMI & Gross

The BBQ Pit
1

You’re all so lovely and dainty that one would suspect that you had, indeed, emerged from the proverbial bandbox. But one step into the only women’s room on our floor would soon disabuse anyone of such notions.

I’m tempted to ask if you were born in a barn, but frankly I’ve seen animals who clean up after themselves better than you do. My dog may have to poop outside, but he always scoots some dirt onto it so that no one has to look at it.

You, on the other hand, feel totally free to leave us bowls full of poop, blood, used tampons, toilet paper, and whatever else you decide to throw into the toilet. I don’t understand why, if you’re old enough to drive a car, hold down a job, feed yourself, etc., you haven’t yet grasped the concept of flushing the toilet.

But perhaps I do you a disservice. Perhaps you know full well how to flush the toilet, but you are loathe to soil your delicate fingers on the filthy handle. Perhaps you might try grasping the handle with some unused toilet paper to provide a barrier between the germs and your dainty hands.

Perhaps you’re very proud of what you’ve done, and you want to share it with the rest of us. In that case, you need to have your ego lowered by about 98%, as the rest of us have also, at one time or another, created similar, if not vastly greater, works of art.

Perhaps you think the toilets in our building are those fancy self-flushing toilets. But the fact that you heard no flush as you stood up and adjusted your clothing should have cued you in to the fact that they are, alas, the old-fashioned kind that require a firm press of the handle in order to remove your waste.

Is it true that you don’t know how to flush the toilet? You could always ask somebody, and while we would inwardly make rude comments about how stupid you are, we would gladly show you how to flush. Anything, to avoid having to see the kinds of things I’ve seen every day this week when I go into one of the cubicles.

And lastly, if you know how to flush the toilet but just don’t give a damn, then may I recommend to you a handy product called Depends? Then you can stay out of the fucking toilet and quit making the rest of us sick!!!

2

:eek:

People who don’t flush will go to a Hell very similar to the toilet bowl in Trainspotting.

3

Perhaps the toilets don’t flush?

4

No, they flush. They flush when I hit the handle. They don’t always flush everything, so sometimes you might have to hit the handle a second time. But the nastiest ones I’ve seen it’s obvious that no attempt at flushing was made.

And one day someone else saw a mess probably like the one I saw yesterday, and instead of just going in there and flushing it, she wrote a sign that read “Not Clean,” locked the door, and crawled under it. !!!

I’m just saying, it’s not all that hard to flush the toilet, and I’m really sick of walking in to find just completely disgusting messes that someone left for another person to deal with. I don’t leave my toilet messes floating around for others, and I expect the same courtesy.

5

True, some people apparently choose not to flush. Then, I think there are others who’s loaf pinchings are just so dang charged with gas that there’s no way they’ll sink, that if you had two of them you could build a respectable catamaran.

Sorry to hear your work waters are uncharted.
ETA: Just saw your last post. Sorry, dear, you’ve got pig-orkers.

6

I’d make the following sign to post on the outside of the bathroom door so that the whole office can see:

FREE
Lessons on How to Flush the Toilet

Register now so the rest of us can stop hating you!

Email havesomefreakingmanners@youfilthytroglodite.com

7

What I don’t get the people who don’t flush because they’re germaphobes.
do I need to remind you that…
[ul]
[li] There’s probably soap and water right next to the exit door.[/li][li] There’s probably more germs on the door you had to open to get into your office building than there are on that toilet handle.[/li][li] You can always do like any other rational female: hover to poop; use foot to flush. :rolleyes: [/li][/ul][ul]
[/ul]

8

It’s everywhere. And it’s disgusting.

9

:eek: Th’ f’ ?

Can anyone possibly suggest an explanation for this behavior?

10

The stupid squeemish girl equation:

Full toilet bowl < any other disgusting thing in the universe, even the pressing yourself against the floor of a public bathroom

11

I was sitting in a stall in a washroom at work, and the stall next to me was occupied, but the third was open. I heard someone come in, walk to the stall entry, pause, then turn and leave. Very shortly thereafter, someone else walked in, said “ew!” upon looking in, and left. By this point I was figuring someone had really stopped up the toilet and I was going to have to call maintenance. I finished up, flushed, and went into the ‘defiled’ stall.

There was a little menstrual blood in the bowl and a small amount of toilet paper. Not “slaughtered pig” level, just a bit. A teaspoon’s worth of blood in, maybe.

Oblivious to the apparent doom that could have befallen me, I reached out, flushed… and watched the toilet empty and refill normally.

Wusses. :mad:

12

You mean you weren’t the least bit concerned about inhaling the aerosolized vapor that would naturally be present after such a wanton disregard for personal safety and hygiene???

13

I did say I was oblivious. :smiley:

14

I did manage to take care of a similar problem at work. One of the toilets in the ladies room really doesn’t flush properly - if you just push the handle and let go, the bowl will not empty. After far too many times walking in to find unflushed waste in the toilet, I made a sign. It reads “Please hold handle down until entire flush cycle is completed.” I fully expected the sign to be gone the next day, but it is still there. And I haven’t found any messes since then, either.

Now if I could just train the lazy bitches to get a new roll of TP from under the sink when they use the last of the roll… sigh I’ve learned to check before I sit.

15

After searching I finally found again this thread from 2003, about flushing. It deserves a looksee, for those who’ve joined since then.

16

We have this problem here too. We used to have some woman who not only refused to flush, she had colossal poops and filled the bowl with toilet paper. I haven’t seen her calling cards in a while, though. I never figured out who she was, though I’m probably happier not knowing.

We also had someone last week leave bloody pube tracks on the front of the bowl rim.

I feel so sorry for our janitorial crew.

17

I have something to get off my chest.
Several years ago I felt quite sick near an Indiana state rest stop: I believe the culprit was a heinous greasy “Chicago style” pizza—covered in fucking green olives of all things—that we had eaten against our better judgment in Rockford, Ill. Anyway, upon entering the stall I noted that there was a bit of TP already in the bowl–this did not alarm me, and I was in a bit of an urgent hurry. I was then rather ill, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Stood up, feeling quite a bit better, and flushed. The water in the bowl rose a bit but nothing drained-- simply diluted the filth. . . did another half flush. . . the water rose further, starting to approach the brim. Uh. . . I did not dare attempt to press the handle again. This was an unmanned rest stop so there was no one to report the problem to, so I had no choice but to slink away in deep, mortified, unending shame. Indiana state parks maintenance workers circa 1996: I am deeply deeply sorry.
God I love the dope. It’s like going to confession.

18

Type this up, & leave it, anonymously, on her desk/door.

19

Darn you. I looked at this just before walking out the door. Now I’ll have ‘American Pie’ in my mind all day.

20

What is the proverbial bandbox :confused: