You gotta admit, as a meal on the go, a burrito is clearly superior to a horse.
MMMMM Pickled Bitch, with a smattering of Jesus
Two more from today:
Aspects of the car define the owner through bondage.
My instrument has seen me grow.
I thought it was bondo you put on your car…
There really is a fine line between stupid and clever.
Make of this one what you will…
Christopher Columbus didn’t have the instruments to prove the earth is flat but he obtained the truth from NASA itself.
I’m trying to make anything of it and am failing.
… Huh. Makes one have more respect for NASA, I suppose.
Well, yes, but that was before NASA started lying about things like moon landings and such.
I’m grading finals. You’d think multiple choice answers wouldn’t have typos, but somehow this generation manages it.
One girl just couldn’t turn in a boring final, so at the end she wrote “I,m a Stegosuar” in a cartoon balloon, being said by a preschool drawing … of … an apatosaurus.
So how did she do? Hopefully it wasn’t a biology final!
My self esteem skyrocketed downhill.
Never give up on failure.
Sir Isaac Newton didn’t invent gravity all by himself.
At least they didn’t write “hisself”.
“She acts like a tractor beam…” I don’t even know how to react to that.
During the Cold War era, JFK said, " we have nothing to fear but fear itself."
We went out to eat at Carlo’s Jr.
What, aren’t you drawn to it? 
I hope someone got high marks for this statement, because it is undeniably true!
[quote=“vivalostwages, post:236, topic:686736”]
During the Cold War era, JFK said, " we have nothing to fear but fear itself."
To be fair, JFK was just re-tweeting
From yesterday:
My habit is being the greatest version of myself in every possible way.