The latest assessment essay gems

That feel? You mean feeling? Or you know how that feels?

It’s not that bad a sentence, but it does sound like there were dirt-filled streets coursing through the writer’s nose. Maybe the writer was Cyrano de Bergerac.

Yeah, I don’t particularly see the problem here with a scent coursing its way through one’s nose.

We score those barely English-literate non-natives into the lowest AMLA course. There are three higher levels for AMLA. (Not all non-natives have to take AMLA, though. Some are quite good at English.)
Another placement is for those who don’t have a second-language issue but are too remedial to go into the regular English classes yet.
Another score is for the sentences to paragraphs class; another for paragraphs to essays; and another for essays to research paper (Freshman Comp).

It doesn’t matter what their majors are. They will have to do some writing in pretty much any course, not to mention more writing if they go on to a 4-year university.

Hope that helps.

Kids today have it so easy. I learned not to fear death by picking tortillas out of burning ash.

Here are the latest:

It happened slowly yet rapidly.

I disagree with Hitler’s actions and the way he abused his power but I am thankful for the great amount of history he created for us to learn.

The experience of eating a different culture wasn’t normal.

Well, that’s better than agreeing with Hitler’s actions but resenting all the History you have to learn because of it.

Not necessarily. It might just be Cat Stevens.

I want your job!

Please keep posting these - they are all making me laugh out loud. :smiley:

I am scheduled for two more readings sessions this week, so I will do my best to bring home some goodies!

Eating a whole culture might cause some serious gas…

Quite right. Stick with the yoghurt you know.

Support bacteria! It’s the only culture some people have.

The ones from today are not error-ridden, necessarily, but they are…intriguing.

My grandpa always said, “There’s nothing new under the sun,” except the iPhone.
Besides the gangs, police harassment, and fights, I liked my neighborhood.
I got pregnant with my two and a half year old baby boy.

Wake up, sheeple. Oswald was just a patsy for the real killers.

One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering. - Jane Austen

Thanks, Hitler!

That’s not an essay answer. That’s the History Channel’s business plan.

Alas, the days of the Hitler Channel are now gone. It’s now the fuckin’ Ancient Aliens Channel occasionally interrupted by a Pawn Stars marathon.

And that continues to piss me right off.

Just watch the network. This way you’ll learn not to fear death.