The Left-Handed

I am the 1:20 to 1:5 (depending on the statistics you’ve heard) of the population that is Left-Handed. What’s up with the Left-Handedness? I feel that although no scientific evidents backs this up, Left-Handed people are naturally more creative, more intelligent, and overall more logical than the right handed majority. I wouldn’t be surprised if a large percentage of people here were Left-Handed. In fact, I now realize that I’ve created an unconscious bias towards Left-Handed people, and a slight prejudice with right handers (not that I hate them, just that I’ll value them as people less). Am I insane? Does anyone else feel the way I do?

I think the only thing left-handedness says about you is that you’re more likely to become a major league baseball player. Or that you’re an unholy abomination of God’s design, bent on fulfilling the devil’s ambitions of destroying America.

An old girlfriend (a lefty) had this sign on her desk:

Hire the Left-Handed! It’s Fun to Watch Them Write!

One day, lefties will rule the world, and ladel-makers will be required to put the little spout things on the correct side, so we can laugh at all the poor right-handers trying to contort themselves to get the punch into the glass!


And all university classrooms will have only those left-handed versions of those little half-desk things, too.

Take that, vile scum!

No, I’m not bitter at all, why do you ask?

About celebrated left-handers:

We all know that Ned Flanders is left-handed, but have you noticed that Marge and Bart Simpson are too?

And am I the only one who noticed that Mulan, in the Disney film, is left-handed?

/me raises left hand

Speaking as a lefty in a family of lefties, we’ve noted that when left to their own devices, left- and right-handedness and ambidextrality are equally common. It’s just that anybody who isn’t an extreme left-hander - and thus doesn’t have a choice - tends to bail out to the swastika-waving right-handed scum^W^W^W other side for convenience’s sake.

The only differences I have noticed about being left handed is that I hear more about my writing preference that my right handed counterparts (So, you’re a southpaw huh?) and I have more pencil/pen on my hand than they do. As for being inherently superior, I won’t talk about it since righties are so weak minded and emotionally frail.:cool:

I’m another left hander, and I can absolutely confirm that we are superior.

What I don’t understand are all the things that we are not supposed to be able to do. What’s so difficult about using scissors, for example?

Also, writing. What’s all that business about twisting your arm around? I can write ‘normally’ and without smearing out the sentence I’ve just written.

I’m ambidextrous. Nyah, nyah.

I’ve got several computers set up here, and the mouses on some are on the left, and others on the right. (Left-handed people who swap the buttons around annoy me).

But even so, I find I commonly use one hand more than the other for particular things. Like, I’ll start brushing my teeth and think “that feels weird”, then realise that I’m not using whichever hand I usually use to brush my teeth.

When I eat, I usually use the knife with my left hand. And so this fish knife is a left-handed product that I would find useful. Or better yet, I wish that those restaurants that insist on supplying fish knives use ones that are sharp on both sides.

Lefty here. One thing, though, is that I do the major things like writing, throwing, kicking, and eating left handed. But, this being a right-handed world, I learned to do many things right handed, like play guitar, billiards, shoot guns and throw a frisbee. And f#$%ing measuring cups, don’t get me started. At least if we ever go metric, I’ll have a head start:rolleyes: .

My brother used to tease me for being red-headed and left-handed, so my mom always reminded me that both Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were red-headed and left-handed. Hopefully, that wasn’t B.S…


[sub]soon we will become the evil overlords of those weakling right handers[/sub]

Down with Rightey!

Left on, my brothers.

I suggest that to take over the world we must first infiltrate all the desk makers throughout the world. We rise to a position of importance in these companies and then cancel production of all right-handed desks. Soon there will be nothing but left handed desks in classrooms, causing all the righties to begin to hate school. As they drop out of school due to the uncomfortable learning conditions, our fellow lefties will continue on towards a higher education. Years later all the top-ranking jobs and positions will be held by lefties and then we can exact our full vengance. Mwahahahahaha!!!

Ok, back to reality. Who invented this damn can opener? Grumble, grumble.

Ha-HAH, righties - you will soon be the trampled underclass of the Great Lefty Empire! We will conquer you and your Northpaw ways. Soon, you will all have to use our scissors, and our knitting instructions! And we’ll make you write right-to-left, so YOU get the ink all over your pinkies!

It will be a glorious day for all leftkind, and one I look forward to with baited breath.

Now, to twist my mouse around so I can post this…

As a righty who comes from a family of lefties, I can honestly say that I do seem to be attracted to southpaws. I married a lefty and gave birth to one as well, my most simpatico co-workers are lefties, and several good friends, too.
Can anyone attest to speech problems with lefties?
My dad (a lefty) had a lefty good friend whose parents forced him to use his right hand. The friend developed a stutter. Years passed, my dad ran into the guy again, who said he had lost the stutter when he went back to his left had. My husband (a lefty) had a mild speech problem as a child. I just wonder if sometimes problems develop when a young lefty tries to get along in a right-handed world.
To this day, I bat lefty because I learned to play baseball with my brothers. :slight_smile:

What’s the deal here? I agree with cart. Why is it hard to use an ordinary pair of scissors in your left hand? I do it. Or is this a joke like left handed screwdrivers?

We’re also much bettmore attractive than the right-handed unwashed masses.

It is possible, you just have to concentrate on reversing the angle you normally squeeze at. As they’re engineered, you don’t ‘naturally’ use them correctly.

Lefties are left at the top. I suppose that’s how its meant to be.


I’m a left-hander meself. A woman came into my shop looking for a left-handed fountain pen and i laughed. She said her son smears ink everywhere and was recommended a left-handed one. i had never heard of such a thing and never had such problems myself! What’s the deal with left-handed fountain pens?

What? It feels perfectly natural in either hand.