Fellow Dopers, I believe that there is an area of scholarship that has been overlooked for too long. I refer, of course, to the title of this thread. Manny Peoples are aware that Her Ladyship was tragically slain along with her noble lover, the Earl of Moray, as reported by Sylvia Wright in 1954 in Harper’s Magazine and documented in this Wikipedia article.
But as I contemplated the subject, it occurred to me that there is much more to be learned about Lady M. and those around her. For example, we can be sure of the fiduciary functionary who handled her business affairs, the obese ancestor of the founder of Virgin Records, given name John. And, of course, poor Lady M. was a chronic sufferer from colitis, as has been documented by Messrs. Lennon and McCartney, to whom we also owe our knowledge of her baptismal name, Lucy. But only this evening, as I studied the situation, did I come to the realization that Lady M. and the Earl were actually in a menage à trois, with Leslie, of course. And, of course, we know of the stuffed animal beloved of her childhood, a nystigmatic teddy bear named Gladly.
Further research is needed into this sadly overlooked area of scholarship. Your assistance in this matter is solicited!
Speaking of the visually impaired, on a trip to Spain the Lady M. became acquainted with a gentleman named Jose, whose eyesight was so poor that he could only see in full sunlight (not in the early dawn). He had a service animal - a French-trained kinkajou named Jacques.
But Jose wandered off and couldn’t be found even though they got quizzical enquiries as to the purpose of the mastiff hounds they were beginning to smell him with.
When finally found, he outed himself and his secret lover by kissing this guy.
This would of coure be Tony Danza, whom he told to hold him closer.
Researchers are welcome to spend time here unearthing more of this information. Refreshments are over on that table, but be careful what you eat: Doughnuts make your brown eyes blue. And of course, there’s a bathroom on the right.
The scholarship increasingly shows Her Grace to be an exceptionally kind soul. In one account, she helped a lame man find a job as mechanic at a firehouse (where he earned the nickname “Slow Walkin’ Walter, the Fire Engine Guy”)
In addition, she had a great concern for nature, and was even heard to remark, “The ants are my friends.”
I am increasingly intrigued by this project, and will soon walk to the library, since I’ve got shoes (they’re made of plywood).
I thought there’s be more interest in this. The silence’s like a cantaloupe, as Simon and Garfunkel said. And here I thought, “Son of a gun, we’ll have big fun on the bio!” Ah, well, don’t cry for me, Marge and Tina!
Mercifully avoiding the hundreds of possibilities which Dean Martin proposed for the Earl’s title (he sang a song based on the family motto, of course), we simply note that the Earl served with the Admiralty, where every Christmas he would send jovial greetings to his co-workers: “Joy to officials of the deep blue sea!”
Well, Poly , I’m starting to wonder where everyone else has gone. Maybe Bingo Jed and Lida carried them too far away. (BTW, she got electric boobs and a mohair suit - y’know, I read that in a magazine!) Or maybe they hitched a ride with a rocket man, burnin’ all the trees on every lawn.
To be serious, I’m disappointed with the turnout for this. As many “mondegreen” threads as we have in here all the time, I would’ve thought more folks would join in!
As the silence whispers across the lush plains, you can hear the wind cry back. Or Mary, depending on what you think the Pict was singing with several species of small furry animals. At any rate, despite the desolation, everything is green and summery. One day I will stride back into town to confront Sheriff Fehrly to retrieve the pie he stole from me.
