“An umbrella indoors is bad luck”,
groused a cranky old geezer named Buck.
“But outdoors, it’s no folly
unless you feel jolly
being soaked as you slog through the muck.”
A slug slogged its way through a slough;
a grouse groused overhead while it flew;
Hungry grouse espied slug
while not a tasty bug
found it quite satisfying to chew.
Oh, heavens! I tried but I am terrible at this. Just saying hi since I’m new and Spider Woman was kind enough to invite me to this thread.
'Twas a tasty repast, but then :eek:!!
For I found, in my bubble and squ:eek:*
One half of a worm!
My gut started to squirm.
What a shock! Couldn’t eat for a w:eek:!!
Meat fried with potatoes and greens, for those unfamiliar with the term.
Hadn’t been on the 'Dope in some ages
I needed my fix of wise sages
But when home I flew
From my soccer (we drew!)
I find this thread runs to FIVE PAGES!
Bubble and Squeak you say? Oh how quaint!
But Haute Cuisine it simply just ain’t
Now my guts are squirming
And not from your worming
It’s fried left-overs that leave me quite faint!
There are lots of arachnids from here
but never enough though I fear
they make most people squirm
but I feel I must affirm
they are quite interesting; tis clear.
The water spider takes lots of trouble
by protecting her brood in a bubble
the babes leave a mess
when exiting the nest
Leaving nature to deal with the rubble.
Curses, foiled again!
Hello there Pierre72!
My fried brain can’t keep up with you!
You’re limericks a doozy
I’m feeling quite woozy
And faint from the strain to construe.
Welcome SpyderWoman!Weak at best
Argh, forgot to underline fried and faint, sorry.
DOUBLE ARG! Weak at best was supposed to refer to the my last limerick, not to Welcome SpyderWoman (who reports she chose that name because she drives a Spyder; I’m jealous). I’m going back to bed.
Thank you for the welcome. I am enjoying this board quite a bit already.
The brain-doctors love to discuss
whether nature or nurture shapes us–
genes or learning, our fates,
which one most relates?
But I don’t understand all the fuss.
In the wake of all the simulposts, the four words underlined below never got their due:
SpyderWoman just arrived from the state
Of Georgia – I think that’s just great
But as Spider Woman also here sits,
I’ll be searching my wits
Just to keep the two homophones straight!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled game, where nature and brain are in play, assuming no other additions have been made to the thread in the last few minutes…
A zookeeper, once, using shapes,
Attempted to teach all the apes.
But he had to concur
Learning wouldn’t occur:
They preferred to throw poo and eat grapes.
In summertime, trying to teach
A teenager’s way past my reach.
I’m sure you’d concur
The teen’s mind is sure
To be thinking that life is a beach.
In summertime a great blue whale
lost direction while trying to sail
with his tail; he did reach
the white sands of a beach
and was blown back to sea by a gale.
Hark! She sails like a whale in a gale!
Almost foundered in passing waves’ swale.
Has she lost her direction?
Will Neptune’s protection
Over storm wind and water prevail?
Arrr, “foundered” an evil word be.
Could I pardon EddyTeddyFreddy?
This rhyme is quite stale
But if I prevail
The stakes will be raised some by me.
There once was a sweet cat named Teddy
Whose big friendly brother was Freddy
But the biggest of all
Was the third brother, tall,
Long and lean: orange mega-cat Eddy!
Okay, having hijacked my own thread to get THAT off my chest, I now return you to our previously scheduled rhyming.
While preparing three witches to burn
at the stakes (each would take her own turn)
A governor’s pardon
received by the guard on
that morning gave cause for concern.
The teeming throng would cry for blood
and the guard preferred that it would
not be his that they spilled
if no witches he grilled
so he did not that pardon make good.
While tying each witch to her tree
he could not understand their great glee.
Here was their joke:
gone in a puff of smoke
before fire was lit they were free.
Now the guard o’er his shoulder does look
passing each little cranny and nook
for warts and hooked noses
and brooms and striped hoses
Of witches he failed to cook.
The moral of this story is"Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Hmmmph.
The throng demonstrated great glee
As the point guard sank a last-second “three”,
But the fans’ roar wasn’t just for
The game-winning score –
'Twas a cheerleader’s thong they did see!
Cheerleaders! The image sublime…
But the only word I can think of to rhyme
With the link demonstrated
Is… erm… menstruated
A mental image I won’t shift for some time…
Ewwwwww…