She brought home a school assignment on which she was to write out one fact and one opinion on various topics.
Yeah, going to have to keep a careful eye on any drinks she “helpfully” brings to me.
Just let her know that a copy of her homework has been given to your lawyer in a sealed envelope, with instructions to open it if you die under mysterious circumstances. That should keep you alive for a few more years.
Won’t work, a kid like that has eyes and ears everywhere. That nice secretary? Was really her bff Effie from homeroom.
Would you rather she chose shepherd?
Time to take “The Borgias” off your Netflix queue.
think twice before you make her eat food she doesn’t like because it’s healthy.
One letter off from Bristow, what do you expect? 
I once substitute taught a kindergarten class. One boy was playing in the kitchen area and was stirring an empty bowl. He told me, “I made a potion for the ne’er-do-wells.”
Okay. :eek:
In retrospect, I wish I’d asked what it did.
Holy crap, that’s what I said I wanted to be!
But I said it during my last month of high school, when the Useless Guidance Counselor rushed to get all the students he’d never met into a “college and career guidance” interview. Of course, the parents had to dress up and come in late on a Friday night and sit and listen to The UGC prattle about goals and Making A Difference.
So when he, almost as an afterthought (and four years too late) asked me what I wanted to do with my life, I said “Mr. Dybdubb, I’m seriously considering becoming a shepherd.”
To my parents’ credit, they kept straight faces… and enjoyed watching him squirm.
I wouldn’t worry too much. Kids today brag about their crimes on-line. Hal’s killer would be brought to justice in no time.
You must teach her to use her powers for good.
Or at least a really good sinister laugh.
And If you want here respect, add The Godfather. And talk like Brando.
I teach Sunday school. There comes a time when kids, boys especially, but some girls, get very creatively violent. We’ve built communities where a Godzilla holding pen is required, talked about why non violent resistance is better than pipe bombs (we were discussing non violent resistance and a helpful child described how to make pipe bombs), and made paper bag puppets to talk about feelings that turned into zombie paper bag puppets interested in eating the brains of other puppets.
I started when my kids were little, and the kids I first taught are high school youth group members now, going to Peace Jams. They seem to outgrow it, or maybe just channel it more appropriately.
Dangerosa, did you ever read the short story "The Toys of Peace, by Saki(H.H. Munro)?
http://haytom.us/the-toys-of-peace/
Kids will take the most mundane items and wreak havoc with them.
I taught Sunday School too and each year would take my 2nd/3rd grade students into the sanctuary of the cathedral and who them the twelve windows of the original twelve Apostles. *“So, St. Peter is has this upside down cross because legends say that’s how he was executed”, and “St. Bartholomew is holding a knife because legends say he was martyred by being flayed” * By the time I got to the third Apostle it would be “Oooo, how did this one die?” Bloodthirsty little suckers.
My aunt taught first grade in a parochial school and she said their favorite stories were the gross plagues visited by God on the Egyptians.