That sucks. Weren’t there two of them? He must have been even more tired of the zoo experience than I thought.
I felt sorry for those cats on that side of the zoo. The lions in Africa and the kangaroos and the elephants all had a good amount of land to move around on, but the smaller cats were stuck in cages where there was no chance of ever being able to run. I’d think that if housecats need FRAP, big cats would too.
Here’s the first shot I took that day: a bird.
Ooo, kookaburra!
Yes, I know. Those poor cats in the “great cat walk”, as they call it, have no space at all to run around in, and they just look terribly sad and unhappy. The leopards near the Africa exhibit have that wonderful wooded enclosure where they can walk over you in the trees, and the cheetahs and lions have so much space that you often can never see them…
I wish that I was rich, so I could build a better cat enclosure.
Anthracite:
Forget them,look over here!
HOO,HOO,HOO,EEE,EEE,EEE…
Cheer me on,I can’t be expected to get through this without public adulation.
Whazzat? You’re what? Well dog my cats!
Really, you can debate whether the watching crowd were parasites or if they are just part of a huge human experiment but it just sounds like simianticks to me…
…I’ll get me coat…
I thought this thread title was “The Masturbating Champ”…
<slinks out>
Hey I watched a squirrel blow himself in NYC’s Central Park! Flexible litttle bugger. If there are people who are the intellectual and cultural equivelent of masturbating chimps, there has got to be the intellectual and cultural equivelent of self-fellating squirrels.
Ok monkey story.
So my close friend and former roommate was at the Zoo.
At the primate exhibit, you know looking at the small cute monkeys.
There was this one monkey, for simplicities sake, let us call him Monkey A.
Monkey A was sitting halfway up the tree looking at the people.
Monkey A was doing what monkeys do best, masturbating like a mad mad monkey.
Now I should spend a moment to describe the cage. It had on the inside bars, but on the outside it had plexiglass. A very valuable safety feature.
Now below monkey A was a branch, which is common in trees. But this branch extended to the glass/bars.
Now Monkey A achieved … ehh let us just say Monkey A’s mission was a complete success. A FORCEFULL and HIGHLY VOLUMETERIC success.
Thankfully there was glass.
Unfortunatly, fluids traveling at high speeds in large volumes splatter and spray everywhere when they strike walls or glass.
And also unfortunatly, monkey B was sitting on the lower branch right next to the glass… and right next to … ehh the ‘target site’.
So physics kick in.
Monkey B, while he may be good close friends with Monkey A, realizes there are certain limits to friendships. Mainly these limits include, GETTING SPRAYED WITH YOUR FRIENDS HOT STEAMING SLUG O’ LOVE SNOT IN THE FACE. As such, Monkey B became a mad mad monkey. And ran up the tree, possibly to complain about Monkey A’s actions to Monkey C.
Now Monkey C was on the branch above Monkey A, and paying no attention to this whole incident. He especially wasn’t looking at Monkey B rushing twoard him. Which means Monkey B running into him was kind of a shock and he lost his grip.
And fell.
On Monkey A
Knocking Monkey A out of the tree.
And then landed on Monkey A.
I suppose there could be a moral in this story.
Don’t masturbate facing glass and have a terrific, forcefull orgasm near your friend’s face, thereby accidently spraying him. Unless you want to be hit on the head with a monkey.
CRorex, that sounded like a particularly complex algebra “story problem.”
I prefer to see myself as the gorilla who, annoyed by the people who insisted on watching his private life, took great handfuls of his own feces and spread them very evenly across the enclosure’s glass, affording him a little privacy.
(I would rather masturbate in private.)
Well it looks like the chimp, (chump) in question finally masturbated himself right outta the SDMB. Good riddence.
Perhaps your chimp did. This thread was actually not about Uekte, whose posts I only saw in one thread.
Besides, if it was, he’d threaten violence against me. And on that note - I sure hope that the SDMB has contacted his ISP and subsequently the police in his city…
Humorously enough, I would rather you masturbated in private, as well.
I would say that 99.9999999% of people don’t accomplish anything real or substantial in their lives. I don’t mena that in a bad way, it’s just that if you think about the number of people that have been born and have died and how few have actually been remembered down through the ages it’s pretty clear to me that the vast, VAST majority of humans are simply wasting precious oxygen.
But I’m cool with that.
Why do all of the fathers of daughters ‘hate’ that their daughters “Fall in love with…” men ???
Sorry Anth . For some reason I thought it was. It seemed so apropriate…
Perhaps I should have said, “One more chimp”.
But what about a non metaphorical Mastubating Orang- Utan ?
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=96326&highlight=orangutan
Scroll down to the second Damhna post while I figure out how to link directly to posts and not threads if you will.
I know this doesnt contibute much but I NEEED people to know that story.
Sounds like 99.9% of the human race.
Conversely, I’d prefer to be in that 99.9%.
Ignorance is bliss.
Sounds like 99.9% of the human race.
Conversely, I’d prefer to be in that 99.9%.
Ignorance is bliss.
sigh
Double posting is bliss too. 
